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“Highway to the danger zone Ride into the danger zone  You'll never say hello to you Until you get it on the red line overload You'll never know what you can do Until you get it up as high as you can go"  Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins  (Click  here  for the song)   “I'm not going to like it, but I still have to do it”   Colleague  “Perception of comfort is intricately linked to what is known as a “zone of comfort” or a “comfort zone,” which is defined as “a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk” ( White, 2009 , p. 2).” Phan, H.P. and Ngu, B.H.   Regular readers understand that having in-depth knowledge of a subject fosters a sense of stability, confidence, and optimism—qualities that contribute to a feeling of comfort. In contrast, deviating from a well-established course of action often leads to perceptions of uncertainty, doubt, and pessimism, creating a sense of discomfort.  Dr. Richard MacKinnon, in an article on the topic, provided these poignant examples of how people avoid discomfort in the workplace:   -  “I’m avoiding speaking up in case I’m wrong and look foolish.”    Here, the discomfort of potential embarrassment takes precedence over making a meaningful contribution to the discussion.  - “ I’m not sharing my thoughts on this in case people think I’m being difficult.”  This reflects a fear of judgment, preventing someone from offering valuable insights.  - “ I’m not applying for this promotion because I don’t want to face rejection.”  In this case, the discomfort of potential failure outweighs the opportunity for career advancement. Researchers have found that people often remain in their comfort zones because it reinforces their sense of competence and confidence. Within this space, they can leverage past successes, anticipate and manage risks, and complete routine tasks with minimal effort. Familiar activities also serve as a way to recharge before tackling new challenges.  Staying in the comfort zone offers a sense of stability, efficiency, and security, yet it can inhibit progress and new opportunities.   Why Should You Leave Your Comfort Zone? Researchers have found that stepping out of one's comfort zone enhances adaptability to change, boosts creativity, motivation, and self-confidence, fosters joy and fulfilment, stimulates intellectual growth, and reduces feelings of emptiness.  How do you step out of your comfort zone? Regular readers know that the vast majority of people believe that it is optimal to relax and avoid stress when seeking to perform well in an uncomfortable situation. When the physiological response to perceived discomfort is decreased, it enables progress. Thus, traditional stress intervention approaches are consistent with this belief and focus on reducing the frequency or severity of stress. Researchers have found that the effectiveness of these approaches is limited. Firstly, it is often not possible to avoid stress, especially when pursuing goals. Stress is pervasive throughout life. Secondly, stress frequently arises when individuals pursue goals that matter to them, creating a pivotal opportunity for personal growth and higher levels of competence. Thirdly, instructing individuals to avoid or reduce stress could inadvertently lead to increased stress accumulation over the long term. Individuals can become anxious about being stressed and about things they cannot control. Some stress reduction techniques may lead to negative stress when perceived as additional demands. “Doing the difficult or unfamiliar challenges us to manage our feelings of discomfort, and when we do, we benefit.” Polly Campbell   The Biopsychosocial (BPS) Model of Challenge and Threat Recent research has demonstrated that discomfort is not inherently detrimental to performance; the physiological states that accompany it—such as increased heart rate and heightened alertness—can enhance passion, excitement, motivation, and overall performance.  They found that maintaining adaptive levels of stress arousal can be highly effective in improving performance in high-pressure situations. According to the BPS model, experiences can be interpreted anywhere along the continuum from threat to challenge.  Where an individual places a particular situation on this spectrum depends on factors such as uncertainty, perceived risk, required effort, existing skills and knowledge, and the availability of support. The assessment determines whether a situation is seen as an opportunity for growth or as an overwhelming obstacle. Is discomfort always problematic?  Recent studies emphasise the benefits of cognitively reframing discomfort as a functional rather than dysfunctional response. Research suggests that discomfort is particularly advantageous when viewed as a sign of progress toward a goal or in high-stress situations that cannot be avoided or mitigated. In both these scenarios, the discomfort helps individuals navigate challenges with greater success. In addition, researchers found that when people were encouraged to feel uncomfortable, they were more engaged in what they were doing, felt more motivated to keep going and believed they were making more progress towards their goals compared to those who were trying to avoid the feelings of vulnerability. Many of my clients experience anxiety about having performance conversations with their staff and tend to postpone them, sometimes indefinitely. However, when they push through their discomfort and prepare carefully, they can consistently provide timely, objective, and relevant information, enabling their staff to grow in both capability and confidence. What can you do to manage discomfort at work? The first step is to carefully examine what you’re avoiding—not just the task itself, but the discomfort you're trying to sidestep. Acknowledge that discomfort is a normal and beneficial part of growth. Reframe stress as a sign of progress and channel it productively to boost performance. Researchers have found that adopting a new mindset is easier when there’s an immediate benefit. Quick wins can reinforce the belief that stepping out of your comfort zone fosters growth. Scientists found that if stress and discomfort are viewed as part of our learning process, then we will experience more positive emotions, such as greater motivation, growth, and well-being. Consistently integrating stress reappraisal and mindset shifts, individuals can perform better under pressure, overcome adversity, and thrive in uncertainty, ultimately redefining discomfort as a powerful tool for success.   A Word of Caution: Discomfort Isn’t Always Meant to Be Ignored Regular readers know that an effective approach to making an informed decision involves: 1. Acknowledge Biases and Suspend Judgment Take a moment to reflect on what might be holding you back. Ask yourself: What am I avoiding? Why am I avoiding it? What alternative options do I have? 2. Conduct Research and Seek Advice from Trusted Sources A mentor at work  understands your professional landscape and can provide relevant insights. A friend or family member  offers a fresh, outside viewpoint. An organisational psychologist  can provide a professional, evidence-based, and independent perspective on your workplace experiences. A clinical psychologist  can assess your psychological well-being, help you reframe challenges, and develop strategies for moving forward.   3. Generate Multiple Alternatives Explore different options to ensure you have a variety of paths to consider.  4. Identify Personal Values Clarify what matters most to you in this situation, as your values will guide your decision-making process. 5. Weigh the Pros and Cons Through a Values Lens  Evaluate the benefits and drawbacks of each option, considering how they align with your core values.   Finally, allow your brain to process the information while your attention is engaged elsewhere. If you're interested in learning more,  click here  to read my blog on decision-making.   References: Association for Psychological Science - APS. (2022).  Embracing Discomfort Can Open Our Minds to New Ideas . [online] Available at:  https://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/observer/obsonline/2022-may-embracing-discomfort.html .  Newman, K. (2022).  Embracing Discomfort Can Help You Grow . [online] Greater Good. Available at:  https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/embracing_discomfort_can_help_you_grow .  Jamieson, J. P., Crum, A. J., Goyer, J. P., Marotta, M. E., & Akinola, M. (2018). Optimizing stress responses with reappraisal and mindset interventions: an integrated model.  Anxiety, Stress, & Coping ,  31 (3), 245–261.  https://doi.org/10.1080/10615806.2018.1442615   Woolley, K., & Fishbach, A. (2022). Motivating Personal Growth by Seeking Discomfort. Psychological Science, 33(4), 510-523. https://doi.org/10.1177/09567976211044685 (Original work published 2022)  Phan, H.P. and Ngu, B.H. (2021). A Perceived Zone of Certainty and Uncertainty: Propositions for Research Development.  Frontiers in Psychology , [online] 12. doi: https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.666274 .  Dr. Richard MacKinnon WorkLifePsych. (2019).  Avoiding discomfort: the ‘comfort trap’ . [online] Available at:  https://www.worklifepsych.com/avoiding-discomfort-the-comfort-trap/ .  EVERYWOMAN. (2015).  7 reasons you’re stuck in your comfort zone - everywoman . [online] Available at: https://www.everywoman.com/my-development/7-reasons-you-re-stuck-your-comfort-zone/ [Accessed 24 Mar. 2025].‌ Polly Campbell (2022).  What We Gain by Being Uncomfortable  [online] Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/imperfect-spirituality/202206/what-we-gain-by-being-uncomfortable [Accessed 20 Mar. 2025]. ‌ Leon F Seltzer PhD (2022).  Why Is It So Hard to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone?  [online] Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/evolution-of-the-self/202201/why-is-it-so-hard-to-get-out-of-your-comfort-zone [Accessed 24 Mar. 2025]. ‌ Psychology Spot. (2019).  ▷ What is the Comfort Zone - and what’s not?  [online] Available at: https://psychology-spot.com/comfort-zone/. ‌

Personal photo of Nala, who always brings me joy “I want to make sure I’m doing things that bring me joy”   Coaching client What is joy?   The quotes below reveal that joy has been a subject of lively debate among psychologists, researchers, philosophers, and theologians, each offering their own perspective on what it truly means.     “Joy, here, involves a state of positive affect, in which one experiences feelings of freedom, safety, and ease. Joy involves changes in visual perception (colors seem brighter), motor behavior (physical movements feel freer and easier, smiling happens involuntarily), and there are characteristic changes in cognition (thinking and attention are broadened and exercised in creative ways). Importantly, joy is here defined primarily in terms of the ‘broaden and build’ theory, which suggests that some positive emotions, such as joy, expand one’s thoughts and actions to facilitate the learning of novel modes of thought and behaviour. "   Fredrickson & Levenson.   Watkins, Emmons, Greaves, and Bell found that “being a more grateful person (dispositionally) may potentiate experiences of joy, and being a more joyful person (dispositionally) may potentiate experiences of gratitude, such that there may be a ‘virtuous upward spiral’ in which joy and gratitude mutually reinforce each other.”   “Joy is typically described as a more intense, transcendent, and deeply felt emotion, often arising spontaneously in response to meaningful experiences or connections. In contrast, happiness is generally viewed as a broader, more stable evaluative state associated with life satisfaction. Unlike happiness, which can be cultivated through goal achievement or positive life circumstances, joy may emerge in unexpected moments, even amid hardship.”   Roberts M, and Appiah R.   It is widely believed that joy is a complex, spontaneous emotion deeply intertwined with overall happiness, gratitude, well-being, and resilience. Integrative theory of joy   Recently, researchers have attempted to conceptualise an integrative theory of joy. According to Arnett, Joy happens when our identity aligns with what we are experiencing. The tendency to feel joy is also a personal trait, as people differ in their readiness to experience it. Arnett proposes that joy is a virtue that shapes thoughts, feelings, and actions, guiding individuals toward what matters most in life. It is an enduring, heartfelt delight in the people, moments, and values individuals find most important.  “Joy is elicited by the appraisal that an event aligns with who we truly are, with what we value, what we strive for, what we live for. Joy is the emotion that makes life worth living in the moment because it resonates with our core identity.”   Van Cappellen (2020) Types of Joy   Researchers differentiate between the   emotional  experiences of joy, such as warmth, excitement, or awe, and   cognitive  experiences of joy, such as clarity, perspective, insight, or mental stillness. Researchers have found that joy can take many forms. Sometimes it is the rush of excited joy, lively and full of energy, while at other times it is serene and calm, bringing a sense of harmony. It can be experienced alone in a deeply personal way or shared with others. Joy can also be anticipatory, bubbling up when something we hope for feels close, or consummatory, settling in once that hope has been fulfilled. Interpersonal joy   arises from the presence of others. It fosters emotional closeness, a sense of security, and deeper meaning in our experiences. Researchers have found that the majority of people experience joyful moments in a social context.   Appreciative joy   is the pure, unenvious delight in the successes and happiness of others. It reflects an ability to celebrate without comparison, strengthening bonds and mutual goodwill.   Cognitive joy   highlights the essential role of interpretation and meaning-making. Nothing is inherently joyful in the same way for everyone; rather, joy emerges from how we think about and appraise an experience. Even the most exquisite physical pleasure may not bring joy if it does not align with our values or sense of self.   Flow   Flow is an example of joy that is both cognitive and emotional. Defined as an “optimal experience” of complete engagement, flow occurs when the demands of an activity are perfectly matched to our skills. It can be found in a wide range of pursuits from music-making to sports, games, or deeply engaging work, and consistently inspires joy through this ideal fit between challenge and capability. (Click here for my blog on flow) How do we experience joy?   “ In experiences of joy, sensory perception may be altered such that individuals experience heightened awareness of color, depth, touch, etc. In excited joy, colors and sensations seem brighter, sharper, more vivid, and in serene joy, they are perceived as calmer. The perception of time is also altered: in anticipatory joy, the arrival of the thing longed for is felt as imminent; in intense joy, time will ‘fly by’; in serene joy, time will seem to pass slowly. ‘Finally, joy occurs almost without exception in the immediacy of the present. Sometimes it appears that one is in a state of timelessness in which the awareness of ordinary time is suspended, one is not aware of time and feels outside of ordinary time ’   (Meadows, 2014, p. 129).   The physical experience   The physical sensations of joy reported by participants, such as a “filling up” or a feeling of warmth, support the notion that joy is a somatic experience tied to physiological homeostasis.    In the brain, joy triggers activity in specific areas. The sensation of joy is then spread to other parts of the central nervous system through the release of neurotransmitters, including dopamine (which is associated with pleasure), serotonin, noradrenaline and endorphins (the body’s natural opiates).    Joy creates what’s known as a Duchenne smile, an involuntary, genuine smile that reaches our eyes.  (Click   here   for more information.) This type of smile is associated with a range of benefits, such as improvements in physical health, better recovery after illness, and stronger bonds with others.   A Duchenne smile is characterised by the additional contraction of the orbicularis oculi, crumpling the skin around the eyes into crows’ feet.  American psychologist Paul Ekman found that only the Duchenne smile is accompanied by activity in the left frontal cortex of the brain, a region involved in experiencing enjoyment. Researchers have found that only a small fraction of the population can fake this smile.   The Role of Movement   Researchers have found that all types of physical activity are a well-established generator of endorphins. Joy often finds physical expression through stomping, jumping, clapping, singing or dancing. Like any vigorous movement, dancing triggers the release of endorphins and enhances positive emotions. Collective Effervescence   Researchers describe this form of joy as one that promotes a sense of group identity, trust, and unity. It is about feeling in emotional synchrony with others during shared activities, such as praying, watching a sports event, or making music. Collective effervescence does not require personal bonds; the joy comes from a shared identity and participation in a common experience.   Shared Beliefs and Ideological Joy   Researchers have found that communal joy can be both collective and ideological. We feel connected not only because of shared group identity but also because of shared beliefs. Ideological joy is existential. It reassures us that life is not random or meaningless but part of a coherent narrative with a purpose for both the individual and the group. Sadly, some leaders exploit aspects of joy to reinforce antisocial behaviour, promote extreme ideologies, or foster cult-like allegiance. What gets in the way of joy?   Researchers have identified several factors that can diminish or block the experience of joy. Negative relationships and unsupportive work environments were found to significantly hinder joy. This aligns with the research finding that social comparison, envy, and rivalry can erode positive emotions. Negative media portrayals, societal pressures to meet unrealistic expectations, and financial strain further added to feelings of joylessness. Regular readers would know that adulthood itself may be experienced as a burden, weighed down by responsibilities and anxieties. Finally, researchers found that the failure to protect and prioritise personal free time leaves little space for joy.  For tips on how to prioritise time for joy, click   here .   What are the benefits of joy?   Regular readers know that Barbara Frederickson’s  Broaden and Build Theory suggests that even brief experiences of joy can foster the long-term development of social, cognitive, and physical resources, counteracting the lingering effects of negative emotions.     Joy is also central to social bonding and connection, with some scholars describing it as a powerful antidote to hatred and division. Joyful workplace cultures reduce burnout and enhance productivity. All forms of joy are associated with an increase in energy and feelings of confidence and self-esteem. Joy is deeply intertwined with the sense that life is meaningful and fulfilling, cultivating a sense of well-being derived from living in alignment with one’s values and purpose.   How do we ensure we experience more joy? Psychologists have found that most people do not need to make any huge changes to increase the joy in their lives; rather, they need to notice its occurrence.  Researchers have found that engaging in conversations about joy can be deeply therapeutic, prompting people to reflect on and relive meaningful experiences. They found that these discussions not only heightened awareness of joy and reinforced its value but also inspired public discussion.   Researchers have found that following passions and doing what is personally rewarding delivers significantly more benefits than simply engaging in activities considered “good for you.” In addition, it is not simply the amount of free time we have that matters to ones level of joy, but how we choose to use it that makes the greatest difference. What is the role of the Manager?   Managers play a key role in creating joyful workplace environments that offer flexibility, recognise employee strengths, and encourage informal moments of connection, such as shared laughter, spontaneous celebrations, or the freedom to take breaks in nature or quiet spaces. These small but meaningful conditions help employees maintain emotional balance and feel valued.   As always, managers and all readers can share this blog with others as a way of raising awareness,   provoking conversation and hopefully increasing joy.  What about my client?   As the coaching session drew to a close, he said to me, "Text-based learning, I used to do it regularly before life got busy with children, work, and I don't know what. I'm going to enrol myself in a program and immerse myself, it always brings me flow and joy". Final thoughts   Often in coaching, a client will share a positive work experience, and I catch a glimpse of joy. I invite them to pause, allow the emotion to emerge and perhaps tell me what they are feeling. In that moment, I see a shift as they reconnect with the feeling of joy and its context.  When I set them homework to do something small as a reward for their success, I hope that the same joy will reemerge.  This practice is a gentle reminder to pause, notice, and deepen one's self-awareness in recognising the experience of joy. Researchers have found that reminiscing and sharing are forms of cognitive engagement that give joy a lasting emotional impact.   Reader’s Challenge   Over the next week, notice what brings you joy and allow yourself to fully feel it. Then take a moment to click   here   and send me an email about your experience.   As always, please contact me if you or anyone in your network would benefit from coaching.  If you want to lock in a time for a catch-up up please head to  my calendarbridge by clicking   here :   https://www.calendarbridge.com/book/jotPVTT   Please click   here   if you would like to read my past blogs.   #OrganisationalPsychology #LeadershipDevelopment #JoyAtWork -----------------------------------   References: Johnson, M. K. (2019). Joy: a review of the literature and suggestions for future directions. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 15(1), 5–24.   https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2019.1685581   Roberts M, Appiah R. The complexities of joy: a qualitative study of joy cultivation, loss of joy, and happiness in British adults. Int J Qual Stud Health Well-being. 2025 Dec;20(1):2508946. doi: 10.1080/17482631.2025.2508946. Epub 2025 May 24. PMID: 40411311; PMCID: PMC12107667.   Ekman, P. (1992). Facial Expressions of Emotion: New Findings, New Questions.   Psychological Science ,   3 (1), 34-38.   https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1992.tb00253.x   (Original work published 1992)   www.rcsi.com . (n.d.).   Joy is good for your body and your mind – three ways to feel it more often . [online] Available at:   https://www.rcsi.com/impact/details/2023/03/joy-is-good-for-your-body-and-your-mind . ‌ Arnett, J. J. (2022). Joy: An integrative theory.   The Journal of Positive Psychology ,   18 (1), 1–14.   https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2022.2053878   dictionary.apa.org . (2018).   APA Dictionary of Psychology . [online] Available at:   https://dictionary.apa.org/joy .   Tan, C. S., & Titova, L. (2024). Enjoying the moment of joy: Culture and self during emotional experience.   The Journal of Positive Psychology ,   20 (3), 498–509.   https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2024.2387338

“We only got 86, 400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away” Live Like We’re Dying, by Kris Allen (click here for the song) Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash Earlier this week a client said to me “everyone seems to be setting into the routine for 2021, which is bringing a sense of control and comfort, especially in the midst of all this chaos. But to be honest.... it is making the work days a bit flat, monotonous and uninspiring.” I have written in the past about the benefits of increasing variety into the work day to improve luck, (click here for the blog), creativity (click here for the blog) and serendipity (click here for the blog). Regular readers would also be familiar with the benefits of variety in your leisure time (click here for the blog) and even lunch breaks (click here for the blog). But can we do something about the way we schedule our work and lives to increase the likelihood of feeling happy? Given that psychologists have found that the “highs” we get from one-time events like going on vacation or winning a prize wear off over time, Lahanna Catalino decided to research the impact of prioritising positivity in our daily routine. She looked at people who purposefully organise their day-to-day life to contain situations that naturally give rise to positive emotions. These individuals proactively put themselves in contexts that spontaneously trigger joy and happiness. Specifically, they do the following: Block out time in their daily routine to do things that they genuinely love. Heavily weigh the positive emotional consequences before making major life decisions, making sure they understand the potential emotional impact of the daily situations in which they will find themselves. In short, she found that people who literally weaved positive behaviours and experiences into their daily lives, rather than expecting them to come from a few isolated events, improved their overall wellbeing. “Good things might come to those who wait Not for those who wait too late We gotta go for all we know” Just the Two of Us , by Bill Withers, and Grover Washington, Jr. (click here for the song) Seizing the day or making hay while the sun shines seems a bit like the words of a poet or lines from a movie. Nevertheless, researchers have found that small everyday actions cause an immediate lift in positive emotions. Over time, the impact of these positive activities is cumulative on feelings of happiness, the capacity to be mindful and the experience of flourishing. In addition, as you get into the habit of prioritising positive events and begin to experience positive emotions frequently, it will increase the likelihood that you will prioritise positivity in your daily routine. "Our day-to-day positive emotions function as nutrients for our overall wellbeing. Today’s positive emotions do not simply exemplify today’s well-being, they also help to create next month’s increases in well-being" Dr. Fredrickson How, on a practical level, can we realistically increase the likelihood of experiencing joy? Take the time to list all the activities that spark your interest, give you joy or contentment. Remember, this list could be quite personal, as individuals differ greatly in terms of what delights us. For some people, joy comes from connecting with nature, helping others, spending time with a loved one, reading a book or doing something physically active. If you are lost for ideas, Laura Archer may give you inspiration ( https://www.goneforlunch.com/about ) Schedule a realistic number of activities in your diary, where possible, ensure some are a part of your daily routine. When you participate in the activity, take the time to savour it (click here for my past blog) Naturally, wherever you are in the world, there will be different practical ways to do this. Regular readers would be aware that there is always something, no matter how small, that is in your sphere of influence that will bring you joy. Remember, it is too extreme to have the mindset that you should feel joy, contentment, gratitude, and peace every second of the day. Regular readers would know that the negative emotions that arise from life events are natural and provide vital information about what we value and what might need to change in our lives. So take a moment and please email and tell me “how will you prioritise happiness in your life and work?” Finally, thank you to my client and colleague for indirectly inspiring this blog. “I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life,” Henry David Thoreau References: Datu, J.A.D. and King, R.B. (2016). Prioritizing positivity optimizes positive emotions and life satisfaction: A three-wave longitudinal study. Personality and Individual Differences , 96, pp.111–114. ‌Catalino, L.I., Algoe, S.B. and Fredrickson, B.L. (2014). Prioritizing positivity: An effective approach to pursuing happiness? Emotion , 14(6), pp.1155–1161. Catalino, L.I. and Fredrickson, B.L. (2011). A Tuesday in the life of a flourisher: The role of positive emotional reactivity in optimal mental health. Emotion , [online] 11(4), pp.938–950. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3160725/. ‌ Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56 (3), 218–226. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3122271/

"Take the pressure down, Cause I can feel it, it's rising like a storm. Take hold of the wheels and turn them around. Take the pressure down. Someone turned the pressure on. I called your name, and you were gone" Pressure Down   by John Farnham (Click   here   for the song)   Patience: Rabbit and turtle in the race brgfx https://www.freepik.com/free-vector Regular readers know that the demands on leaders today are immense. Reflecting on the themes I’ve explored in my blogs (to read them all, click   here ) over the past five years, I found myself asking: Is there one capability that underpins effective leadership across all these challenges? As I revisited the research on patience and its role in human behaviour, a clear insight emerged. Patience is not just a coping strategy; it may be a critical driver of leadership effectiveness and perhaps the essential trait for successful leadership in 2025.   “In the most basic sense, patience is the propensity of a person to wait calmly in the face of frustration, adversity, or suffering. Patience is enacted across a wide range of circumstances and timeframes.”   Schnitker, 2012   What is patience?   Psychology researchers define patience as the psychological capacity that enables individuals to tolerate discomfort, delay, or uncertainty without becoming agitated or overwhelmed. It is relevant in a wide array of human experiences, from minor daily irritations to sustained periods of hardship. People exhibit patience (or a lack thereof) in circumstances as varied as parenting, navigating bureaucratic delays, or persisting through organisational change. These moments are not marginal they are central to human functioning.   Researchers differentiate between three types of patience:   Interpersonal patience : Facing annoying people with equanimity. Researchers found that those who are more patient toward others also tend to be more hopeful and more satisfied with their lives.   Courageous patience:  Waiting out life’s hardships without frustration or despair. e.g., an unemployed person who persistently fills out job applications or a cancer patient waiting for her treatment to work. Unsurprisingly, researchers found that this type of patience was linked to more hope.   Daily hassles patience:   The typical events of life, like traffic jams, long lines at the grocery store, and a malfunctioning computer.   Research shows that daily hassles and frustrations harm physical health and well-being, perhaps to a greater extent than major life events.  People who have this type of patience are more satisfied with life and less depressed. What about the impact of time on patience? In my psychology undergraduate degree, I learnt that one's perception of time often differs from the actual time measured by a clock. In the context of patience, researchers have begun to examine the concept of   wait-time construal , the subjective belief about how long one should be expected to wait in a given context. These beliefs are shaped by factors such as prior experience, personality traits, motivation, and socio-cultural norms. Studies indicate that when individuals are highly motivated to complete a task quickly, their perception of how long the task should take tends to shorten. As a result, they are more likely to underestimate its duration and become impatient when it extends beyond their expectations. Interestingly, the presence of explicit cues or reminders about the passage of time can lead people to overestimate elapsed time, which reduces their tolerance for delay. In contrast, when attention is fully absorbed in the present moment, such as during flow states or mindfulness, the perception of time contracts, enhancing patience. Thus, how a person construes and experiences the passage of time influences their capacity for patience. “Patience may enable individuals to tolerate flaws in others, therefore displaying more generosity, compassion, mercy, and forgiveness,” Schnitker and Emmons in their 2007 study. What are the benefits of patience?   Motivation and goal achievement    Patience supports sustained effort toward long-term goals, particularly when individuals face obstacles or slow progress. Researchers have found that patient individuals not only experience greater goal satisfaction but also exert more effort in pursuing those goals. Regular readers know that perseverance and goal achievement lead to increased life satisfaction and positive mood.   Human Flourishing   Patience enables the realisation of human potential through the cultivation of meaning. Within the framework of self-determination theory, patience may facilitate the fulfilment of core psychological needs autonomy, competence, and relatedness by allowing individuals to remain engaged with intrinsically meaningful goals, even when progress is slow. Patient individuals tend to report higher self-esteem and lower loneliness. Researchers have found that patience is more than just a way to cope with the realities of life; it is a key component of how people grow and thrive.   Positive Organisational Behaviour   Researchers have found that within organisational settings, patience may serve as a critical enabler of reflective decision-making, inclusive leadership, and psychological safety. Researchers have found that patience in organisations fosters more ethical, deliberate action, particularly in complex or ambiguous environments. When paired with assertiveness, patience allows for principled persistence without reactive escalation.   Relationships with others.   Patient people tend to be more cooperative, more empathic, more equitable, and more forgiving. The interpersonally patient people tend to be less lonely and more accommodating of the nuances of human behaviour.   Patience also plays a crucial role in fostering healthy interpersonal dynamics within organisations. In professional environments, patient individuals are more likely to navigate conflicts constructively, support their colleagues, and remain focused on collective objectives rather than succumbing to frustration or impulsivity.   Tolerance and Perspective-Taking   Recently, researchers have begun to look at whether patience supports openness to diverse perspectives. The practice of waiting without judgment or premature conclusion allows individuals to remain cognitively and emotionally available to alternate viewpoints. Which has positive implications for inclusion, dialogue, and social cohesion. “The famous adage, ‘Patience is a virtue,’ originated in a poem from the 1300s—so it’s not exactly a new concept. Rather than a virtue, which implies morality, Kate proposes that patience is an emotional action.1 “When that emotion of impatience arises, we can manage it and regulate it through the process of patience,” she said. “That really takes patience quite out of the virtue realm and situates it in the nerdy research on emotion regulation. It’s not quite as poetic, but I think it’s much more practical.””  https://www.hoganassessments.com/blog/psychology-patience-personality/#h-how-to-wait-patiently Does patience come naturally, or can we learn it?   To begin to understand whether we can learn to be patient, researchers found it was useful to distinguish between trait patience, which is a stable personal tendency, and state patience, which refers to the ability to be patient in a specific situation.   Trait patience.  Researchers have identified a number of traits/attributes that may increase the likelihood of a person having a natural tendency to be patient.  Individuals who naturally lean toward agreeableness and empathy tend to be more sensitive to the social impact of impatience. This heightened awareness increases their motivation to self-regulate, making them more likely to respond with patience. Researchers have found that those with stronger executive function are more capable of exerting the cognitive effort required for emotion regulation, in situations requiring patience. State patience   is influenced by a range of situational factors that shape how individuals experience and respond to delays. Researchers have identified three key elements. First, the   relative desirability of the future versus the current state   plays a significant role, it is harder to remain patient when the present moment is unpleasant or when the anticipated outcome is highly desirable, making the wait feel more intense. Second, the   blameworthiness of the delay   can heighten impatience, particularly when there is a clear person or party perceived as responsible for the hold-up. Finally,   features of the delay itself,  such as its unpredictability or perceived negativity, can further erode patience, especially when the delay feels unfair or unnecessary. “Among the most powerful and flexible forms of emotion regulation are cognitive strategies that either alter the way we attend to a stimulus (distraction) or the way we interpret the meaning of a stimulus (reappraisal).” McRae K, Hughes B, Chopra S, Gabrieli JD, Gross JJ, Ochsner KN. How do we build patience?   Researchers have found that people can improve their capacity for patience through emotional regulation techniques.   Cognitive reappraisal  is the deliberate process of changing how we think about a situation to alter its emotional impact. It can involve viewing the situation from someone else’s perspective, which not only fosters empathy but also opens up new ways to respond, such as giving someone the benefit of the doubt. A key element of this process is challenging automatic interpretations by deliberately separating facts from assumptions. When we shift our focus from imagined motives, biases, or worst-case scenarios to what is known and observable, we create space for more balanced thinking. Reframing the situation, shifting the meaning or focus of the event, helps reduce emotional intensity and enables more constructive responses. Attentional distraction   involves deliberately shifting attention away from emotionally charged information before an emotional response fully takes hold. Research has identified several techniques that support this process. One involves   consciously redirecting   attention from one aspect of a situation to another, or even away from the situation entirely. Another is the use of   concentration,   a cognitive strategy where individuals fully engage their mental resources in a chosen activity. By intentionally focusing on something specific, they are better able to manage emotional triggers and maintain regulation. A third technique is   savouring ,   which refers to mentally revisiting positive emotional experiences. This form of positive rumination can help prolong the benefits of those emotions and act as a buffer against negative affect. Together, these attentional strategies support emotional regulation by guiding where and how mental energy is directed.   Neuroscientists have found that both cognitive reframing and attentional distraction successfully reduce emotional experience and amygdala activity while engaging prefrontal regions important for working memory, selective attention and cognitive control more generally. Combining attentional focus with cognitive reappraisal not only has a cumulative effect on emotional regulation but also increases the likelihood of these strategies being used together in future situations.   “The consequences of patience oppose the consequences of impatience: calm composure rather than agitation, restraint and perseverance rather than impulsivity. These expressions likely in part reflect activity in the parasympathic nervous system that counteracts the arousal of impatience via the sympathetic nervous system” Sweeney Emotional regulation flexibility   Researchers have found that true patience involves the active regulation of agitation or impulsiveness in the moment, and is marked by calm composure, restraint, and perseverance.  Researchers have found that emotional regulation can reduce impulsivity and increase the willingness to delay gratification, thereby strengthening patience.   Regular readers are aware of a range of emotion regulation techniques (click   here   for my blog on the Third Space and quick relaxation techniques). Recent research has demonstrated the benefits of   emotion regulation flexibility , this involves using different emotion regulation strategies depending on the context. The capacity to shift attention and reframe situations, especially when focused on long-term outcomes, is linked to more positive emotional experiences in daily life and lower levels of psychological distress. These findings reinforce the idea that the effectiveness of emotion regulation depends on context; no single strategy works best in every situation. What about  Well-being?   Regular readers will be familiar with the idea that psychological well-being encompasses positive emotions, a sense of purpose, and the ability to engage meaningfully in relationships and activities. While major life events can be disruptive, it is often the daily hassles and frustrations that more significantly undermine both physical health and emotional well-being. Emerging evidence suggests that patience is positively associated with subjective well-being, adaptive coping, and overall thriving. By buffering against negative emotional responses during stress, patience serves as a direct contributor to mental well-being.   Additionally, people who are more socially integrated and enjoy supportive, rewarding relationships consistently show better mental health, higher subjective well-being, and lower rates of illness and mortality.   Researchers have found that patience facilitates adaptive emotion regulation, especially under conditions of stress or ambiguity.  Thus supporting both immediate well-being and long-term psychological resilience. Final thoughts and a word of caution: Patience should not be confused with passivity or the acceptance of poor behaviour. It is not about tolerating the unacceptable. Rather, patience creates the space for purposeful, measured action. It enables leaders to respond rather than react, to make thoughtful, strategic decisions under pressure. If you or someone in your network may benefit from coaching, please feel free to get in touch:   tamar@balkincoaching.com.au To schedule a meeting, you can book a time via my calendar:   https://www.calendarbridge.com/book/jotPVTT To read my previous blog posts, please click here:   https://www.balkincoaching.com.au/blog-1 References: Comer, D.R. & Sekerka, L.E., 2014. Taking time for patience in organizations. Journal of Management Development, 33(1), pp.6–23.   https://doi.org/10.1108/JMD-11-2013-0132 DeLongis, A., Coyne, J.C., Dakof, G., Folkman, S. & Lazarus, R.S., 1982. Relationship of daily hassles, uplifts, and major life events to health status. Health Psychology. García-Cadena, C.H., Quiceno Sierra, J.M., Caycho-Rodríguez, T. & Lara Pinales, O., 2024. Psychometric properties of a new scale to measure patience. Revista Interamericana de Psicología/Interamerican Journal of Psychology, 58(1), e2002. Glicksohn, J., 2001. Temporal cognition and the phenomenology of time. Consciousness and Cognition. Harned, D.B., 1997. Patience: How we wait upon the world. Cowley Publications. Newman, K., 2016. Four reasons to cultivate patience. Greater Good Magazine [online]. Available at:   https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_reasons_to_cultivate_patience   [Accessed 23 Jul. 2025]. Robinson, E., 2023. The psychology of patience. Hogan Assessments [online]. Available at:   https://www.hoganassessments.com/blog/psychology-patience-personality/#h-the-psychology-of-patience-and-personality   [Accessed 23 Jul. 2025]. Roy, M.M., Christenfeld, N.J. & McKenzie, C.R.M., 2005. Underestimating the duration of future events. Psychological Bulletin. Ryan, R.M. & Deci, E.L., 2000. Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation. American Psychologist. Ryff, C.D. & Singer, B.H., 1998. The contours of positive human health. Psychological Inquiry. Schnitker, S.A., 2012. An examination of patience and well-being. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 7(4), pp.263–280.   https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2012.697185 Schnitker, S.A. & Emmons, R.A., 2007. Patience as a virtue: Religious and psychological perspectives. Research in the Social Scientific Study of Religion. Sweeny, K., Hawes, J. & Karaman, O.T., 2024. When time is the enemy: An initial test of the Process Model of Patience. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 0(0).   https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672241284028   Sweeny, K. (2024). On (Im)Patience: A New Approach to an Old Virtue. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 29(2), 145-158.   https://doi.org/10.1177/10888683241263874   (Original work published 2025)‌   McRae K, Hughes B, Chopra S, Gabrieli JD, Gross JJ, Ochsner KN. The neural bases of distraction and reappraisal. J Cogn Neurosci. 2010 Feb;22(2):248-62. doi: 10.1162/jocn.2009.21243. PMID: 19400679; PMCID: PMC4136451.   Zhang N, Zhang K, Wang J, Sun X. Distract or Reappraise? The Mechanism of Cognitive Emotion Regulation Choice and Its Influential Factors. Psychol Res Behav Manag. 2022 Dec 16;15:3699-3708. doi: 10.2147/PRBM.S389835. PMID: 36560960; PMCID: PMC9767025.   Wadlinger HA, Isaacowitz DM. Fixing our focus: training attention to regulate emotion. Pers Soc Psychol Rev. 2011 Feb;15(1):75-102. doi: 10.1177/1088868310365565. Epub 2010 Apr 30. PMID: 20435804; PMCID: PMC2970710. Pruessner, L. and Ortner, C.N.M. (2025). Adaptiveness of emotion regulation flexibility according to long-term implications. Journal of Affective Disorders, 379, pp.1–9. doi: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2025.02.114 . Gautam, S., Jain, A., Chaudhary, J., Gautam, M., Gaur, M. and Grover, S. (2024). Concept of Mental Health and Mental well-being, it’s Determinants and Coping Strategies.   Indian Journal of Psychiatry , [online] 66(Suppl 2), pp.S231–S244. doi: https://doi.org/10.4103/indianjpsychiatry.indianjpsychiatry_707_23 . ‌ Feeney, B.C. and Collins, N.L. (2015). A new look at social support: A theoretical perspective on thriving through relationships.   Personality and Social Psychology Review , 19(2), pp.113–147. doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868314544222 . ‌

“If there's so many people here, then why am I so lonely? Can I get a connection? Can I get, can I get a connection? Can I get a connection? Can I get, can I get a connection? Real friends, good friends, hard to find, let's face it” Connections  by One Republic (Click  here  for the song)   https://tinyurl.com/2939xnrc   Recent research found that  42% of remote workers feel working from home negatively impacts their mental wellbeing. “Researchers have conceptualised remote work “into four types of distance—psychological, temporal, technological, and structural—and three objects from which one can be distant—material resources, social resources, and symbolic resources.” Paul M. Leonardi, Sienna Helena Parker and Roni Shen  To address the current challenges of remote work and flexible work arrangements, both employees and leaders need to step back and develop a deeper understanding of the complex and evolving concept of remote work. What is the prevalence of remote work? Since the 1970s, around 15% of Australian workers engaged in remote work each week, rising to 20–30% by 2008, though only a small portion worked primarily from home. From there, remote work steadily increased, accelerating sharply during the pandemic. By 2021, 40% of Australians were working remotely, with 20–30% doing so most or all of the time. Even after restrictions eased, remote work remained high — in 2023, 37% worked from home, dipping slightly to 36.3% in 2024.   Remote work and flexible work are a complex interplay between distance and resources. Researchers have found that although remote work always involves physical separation,  psychological distance  is often the more profound and less visible barrier. Research frequently highlights how physical absence from the office can reduce communication and weaken team cohesion, affecting how individuals think, feel, and relate to one another. Psychological distance refers to the mental, emotional, or social space between people. Bridging this gap requires significant cognitive effort because it involves abstract thinking and relating to others who may differ widely in culture, demographics, or nationality. Psychological distance can manifest as a lack of social connection or even conflict within geographically dispersed teams. While not synonymous with physical distance, researchers have found that being physically close often helps reduce psychological distance by fostering familiarity, smoother communication, and trust-building.  Temporal Distance  refers to separation across time, such as working different hours, living in various time zones, or relying on asynchronous communication methods. Researchers have found that even colleagues in the same location can feel temporal distance if they communicate primarily through email or tools that do not require immediate responses. Communication that depends on technology may be subject to delays and interruptions, causing temporal distance. To offset temporal distance, some remote workers maintain a connection by staying available for real-time interactions, which may impact sleep or work-life boundaries.  Technological Distance  captures differences in how people use and experience technology. Communication tools may fail to fully convey social cues like body language and tone of voice, reducing the richness of interaction. Additionally, individuals’ varying proficiency and preferences for technology can cause misunderstandings or frustration. Technological distance often compounds other types of distance, intensifying feelings of separation and disrupting workflow.  Structural distance  refers to the gaps in how work is organised when employees are physically apart. In traditional office settings, defined schedules and visible workflows make coordination more intuitive. In contrast, remote work can obscure these structures, making collaboration and alignment more complex. Managers may find it harder to track progress, while employees may struggle to maintain boundaries between work and home life. Structural distance often overlaps with psychological distance, amplifying feelings of isolation and disconnection.  Material resources  go beyond desks and computers — they include ergonomically designed workspaces, access to the right tools, and environments that support both the task and the person doing it. This includes quiet, private spaces for focused work and meetings. Remote work can either enhance or limit access to these resources, with implications for productivity, psychological safety, and physical well-being.  Social resources  include trust, support, and shared knowledge. The foundation of these resources are the relationships and social connections at work, with stakeholders, colleagues, customers and leaders. Remote work tends to weaken these connections, making teamwork and coordination harder, especially when people are in different places or time zones.  Symbolic resources  are the meanings and shared understandings that make work feel like work, such as office routines, dress codes, and the general “feel” of being at work. Remote workers often create new meanings around work, like feeling more authentic in casual clothes or having blurred boundaries between work and personal time. The discrepancies between the remote and the in-office symbolic resources can enhance feelings of psychological distance.      What behaviours are essential for successful remote work? Researchers have found that success in remote work depends not only on technical competence but also on strong  interpersonal skills, effective work habits, adaptability, and self-development .   Interpersonal   skills Building strong work relationships is essential in remote environments, where informal face-to-face interactions are limited, increasing the risk of isolation. Regular readers know that positive peer relationships enhance job satisfaction, commitment, and performance, while reduced interaction lowers social support and well-being. Effective remote workers offer help and share knowledge openly to support team performance. They communicate well using digital tools, leveraging virtual social skills to build connections and trust.  Effective Work Habits Remote work demands strong self-management skills. Researchers have found that remote work is associated with increased distractions and blurred boundaries; thus, maintaining focus is key to avoiding burnout and staying productive. Efficient time use—rather than longer hours—is what drives outcomes, with research supporting the value of structured or even shortened workweeks. Success in remote roles also hinges on the ability to work autonomously, with self-direction linked to higher performance, well-being, and job satisfaction.  Adaptability and self-development Thriving in remote work requires adaptability, continuous self-development, and proactive behaviour. As roles and tools evolve, flexible workers are better equipped to manage uncertainty and sustain well-being. With fewer opportunities for informal career growth, remote employees must actively seek feedback and visibility to progress. Limited oversight also makes initiative and self-motivation essential for maintaining momentum and avoiding stagnation.  Researchers have found that developing these behaviours may predict higher levels of job performance, satisfaction, and well-being in remote work and hybrid work arrangements.     Downsides of Remote Work While remote work and flexible work arrangements offer numerous benefits, researchers have identified the following significant challenges that impact employee well-being, collaboration, and productivity.  Communication Challenges The absence of face-to-face interactions can lead to communication breakdowns. Virtual teams often struggle with delays, misinterpretations, and the lack of non-verbal cues, which can hinder both collaboration and effective decision-making.  Burnout and Overwork Regular readers will know that many in the working-age population have experienced increased workloads, fatigue, and reduced motivation in recent years. Researchers have linked these outcomes to several characteristics of remote work, particularly social isolation, reduced day-to-day interaction, and blurred boundaries between work and personal life—all of which contribute to heightened stress and burnout.  Reduced Structure and Accountability Remote work environments can lack the structure that some employees depend on to manage their time and maintain focus. Without the routine and visibility of a traditional workplace, productivity may decline and performance expectations can become unclear. In response, some managers have introduced tracking software to monitor employees in real time—an approach that, as regular readers will recognise, can undermine trust and damage team culture.  The “autonomy paradox” Remote work obscures the physical visibility of labour, leading to lower promotion rates for remote employees. To counteract this, researchers have found that some remote workers engage in signalling behaviours—such as increased availability outside standard hours—to demonstrate commitment, often at the expense of personal life. This dynamic, coupled with blurred work-life boundaries and decreased visibility, pressures employees to extend work hours to offset perceived remote work disadvantages. Impression management—deliberate efforts to control how others perceive one’s work or image—often intensifies in remote settings, leading others to view those behaviours as inauthentic and ultimately diminishing trust and engagement. Social Disconnection and the Impact of Weak Networks Many remote workers feel socially disconnected. About 40% of flexible workers say they miss their colleagues, and 75% of organisations see a lack of connection as a major issue. Other common challenges include reduced collaboration (58%), difficulty monitoring performance (43%), and fewer mentoring opportunities (40%).Remote and hybrid arrangements are also reshaping workplace social networks. While remote work can strengthen bonds within immediate teams, it often weakens broader organisational ties. Reduced spontaneous interactions—like hallway chats or impromptu check-ins—make it harder to build social capital and visibility.       Loneliness is now one of the most commonly reported challenges in the workplace, especially in remote settings. Remote work can intensify feelings of isolation, with serious consequences — including disengagement, lower job satisfaction, reduced performance, and poorer well-being. Research shows that even working remotely 2.5 days or more per week can noticeably reduce the quality of workplace relationships.     "Marie Jahoda’s latent deprivation model proposes that unemployed people have a worse mental health compared to employed people. This is because they suffer not only from a lack of the manifest function of employment (earning money), but also from a lack of five so-called latent functions of employment: Time structure, social contact, collective purpose (i.e., the sense of being useful to other people), status, and activity."    A recent meta-analysis found that all latent functions, as well as the manifest function, emerged as significant independent predictors of mental health. It could be surmised that the absence of many of these latent functions in remote work is a large contributor to the poor mental health of remote workers.      What Can Be Done? Face-to-face interaction remains a key counterbalance in remote work and hybrid work. Regular in-person meetings or site visits help reduce psychological and structural distance, strengthen trust, and support relationship-building that’s hard to replicate online. To work effectively, remote employees must actively reconfigure their social networks: using digital tools deliberately to stay visible, maintain connections, and access support. It’s not just an individual task — leaders and teams play a role in noticing when someone’s struggling, sharing insights, and building strong, trusting relationships that buffer against stress and burnout.     Work Group Integration (WGI) Recent research has defined WGI as the overall quality of a person’s relationships with their team — a sense of inclusion, belonging, and mutual support that provides emotional and practical benefits. Researchers have found that it helps people feel stable, valued, and connected. In remote work, maintaining WGI is harder but even more important. Physical distance, fewer spontaneous interactions, and reliance on digital tools can weaken team cohesion. Without deliberate effort, remote workers may feel isolated, excluded from decisions, or unsure of their role. Research shows strong WGI helps protect against loneliness, disengagement, and uncertainty in remote settings. It also boosts collaboration by building trust, support, and openness across distances. Importantly, WGI has a greater impact on psychological health than support from individual colleagues. For managers, this means going beyond one-on-one check-ins—actively building team-wide connection through regular group interactions, inclusive communication, and shared team practices.     What Do We Do with All This Information? One of the major challenges with the current situation and the friction around working from home is that, in most cases, employees had no choice, no say in the imposition of working from home during COVID, it was rapid and government-mandated. Regular readers know that when autonomy is removed, it causes angst at best and resentment.          Perhaps then the best way to address the current predicament is to reflect on why and how we are making decisions about work flexibility. Regular readers know that the role of a leader is not to mandate a one-size-fits-all policy on remote work, but to foster open reflection and dialogue about the personal and collective impacts of working from home. Rather than assuming the reasons behind individual preferences or enforcing rigid arrangements, effective leaders create space for honest conversations, encouraging team members to explore not only what works for them but also how their choices affect others. This includes reflecting on how remote work influences collaboration, learning opportunities, visibility, workload distribution, and team culture. By facilitating these discussions with empathy and curiosity, leaders can support more thoughtful, inclusive, and balanced decisions that align individual needs with team and organisational goals.   “We say, “Could you give me your feedback on this?” or “Can you give me your opinion on this?” That’s a mistake. When you ask for an opinion, you get a critic. You get somebody who steps away from you, who breaks the unity bond, who separates and goes inside themselves for the pros and cons. If you change one word, and there’s research on this, and you ask for their advice, you get a partner. You get somebody, a collaborator, who’s working with you on this.” Robert Caldini      As always, please  email  me if you or anyone in your network would benefit from coaching.  If you want to lock in a time for a catch-up up please head to  my calendarbridge by clicking   here :  https://www.calendarbridge.com/book/jotPVTT   Please click  here  if you would like to read my past blogs.   References: Allen, K. S., Grelle, D., Lazarus, E. M., Popp, E., & Gutierrez, S. L. (2024). Hybrid is here to stay: Critical behaviors for success in the new world of work.  Personality and Individual Differences, 217 (1), 112459.  https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2023.112459 Chapman, C. (2025). Employee mental health: Remote workers | Pluxee.  Pluxee.uk .  https://www.pluxee.uk/blog/mental-wellbeing/a-spotlight-on-employee-mental-health-remote-workers/ Glazer, R. (2024). Robert Cialdini on persuasion, influence and leadership.  Elevate Podcast .  https://robertglazer.com/elevate-podcast/robert-cialdini-persuasion-influence-leadership/ Law, D. (2025). Remote work & working from home statistics Australia (2025).  Red Search .  https://www.redsearch.com.au/resources/remote-work-working-home-statistics-australia/ Leonardi, P. M., Parker, S. H., & Shen, R. (2023). How remote work changes the world of work.  Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 11 (1).  https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-orgpsych-091922-015852 Paul, K. I., Scholl, H., Moser, K., Zechmann, A., & Batinic, B. (2023). Employment status, psychological needs, and mental health: Meta-analytic findings concerning the latent deprivation model.  Frontiers in Psychology, 14 , 1017358.  https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1017358 Rousseau, V., Aubé, C., Chiocchio, F., Boudrias, J.-S., & Morin, E. M. (2008). Social interactions at work and psychological health: The role of leader–member exchange and work group integration.  Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 38 (7), 1755–1777.  https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1559-1816.2008.00368.x Torres, S., & Orhan, M. A. (2022). How it started, how it’s going: Why past research does not encompass pandemic-induced remote work realities and what leaders can do for more inclusive remote work practices.  Psychology of Leaders and Leadership, 26 (1).  https://doi.org/10.1037/mgr0000135 Wells, J., Scheibein, F., Pais, L., Dalluege, C.-A., Czakert, J. P., & Berger, R. (2023). A systematic review of the impact of remote working referenced to the concept of work–life flow on physical and psychological health.  Workplace Health & Safety, 71 (11).  https://doi.org/10.1177/21650799231176397 Zoonen, W. V., & Sivunen, A. E. (2021). The impact of remote work and mediated communication frequency on isolation and psychological distress.  European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology, 31 (4), 1–12.  https://doi.org/10.1080/1359432x.2021.2002299

“I'm gonna make it a brighter place, (With my own) I'm gonna make it a safer place, (With my own) I'm gonna help the human race, (With my own)... But you got to use, use your own two hands Use your own, use your own two hands" With My Own Two Hands by  Ben Harper  (Click  here  for the song)  Image  by KamranAydinov on Freepik “There’s a whole segment of unhappy customers, we have stopped meeting their needs, and the leadership aren’t interested. How do I convince them to really listen and learn?” Coaching client   In today’s matrixed and networked organisations, influence is not limited to those in formal leadership roles. Leaders at all levels are expected to drive results, foster collaboration, and initiate change—often without direct authority. The ability to influence others, especially peers and superiors, is therefore a critical skill for modern leadership. "Managing up" refers to the process of developing a productive working relationship with more senior leaders. It involves understanding their priorities, pressures, and preferred communication styles, and responding in a way that supports both the manager’s goals and organisational outcomes. Researchers have found that this capability requires self-awareness, situational judgment, and a proactive orientation. Managing up is not about manipulation; rather, it is about aligning with leadership expectations while remaining effective in one’s role. Why Do Leaders Need to Influence? Researchers have found that people seek influence for reasons such as career advancement, improving team performance, and driving change. These goals typically fall into two categories: Personal  - gaining recognition, better assignments, career progression Organisational  - improving systems, coordinating teams, initiating change. In addition, researchers have identified five key reasons employees influence peers outside their reporting lines: Securing assistance  - Getting help with tasks beyond formal roles Encouraging accountability  - Motivating peers to meet their responsibilities Gaining personal benefit  - Seeking advancement or new opportunities Driving change  - Introducing new ideas, processes, or systems Improving performance  - Helping others increase effectiveness. Regular readers would know that influence is not just tactical -it's a strategic tool for achieving broader goals. How Do Leaders Influence Without Authority? Influence without authority involves more than persuasion. Effective influencers use a combination of logical reasoning, emotional intelligence, and relationship capital to gain support. Common tactics include: Rational persuasion:  Using evidence, logic, or expertise to support a recommendation Inspirational appeal:  Connecting ideas to broader organisational values or mission Consultation:  Involving stakeholders in shaping the approach to increase buy-in Coalition-building:  Forming alliances to strengthen support for an idea. Researchers have found that trust, credibility, and relationship quality are the core enablers of influence. Adapting Tactics to Situational Cues Leadership style plays a significant role in how people choose to influence. Research shows that authoritarian managers are more likely to elicit non-rational tactics such as upward appeal or ingratiation, while participative managers tend to be influenced through rational persuasion. In addition, researchers have found that employees interpret signals from their environment—especially from managers—to determine which behaviours are acceptable or effective. Over time, they adapt their behaviour to align with these perceived norms.     “Proactive employees, “[self]-initiate situations and create favourable conditions. This is in contrast to a more passive, reactive pattern of behaviour.” (p.436-437: Crant, 2000). Recent research has introduced the concept of Managing Your Boss, (MYB), which is comprised of two components:  Future-focused —it involves planning and acting in advance based on what might happen. In this context, managing your boss (MYB) includes employees taking the initiative to understand their manager’s goals, needs, and work style. By doing so, employees can anticipate their manager’s plans, challenges, and preferences, and adjust their actions accordingly to better align with expectations. Change-oriented —it aims to improve or adjust oneself, others, or the situation. The adapting aspect of MYB builds on understanding and involves employees shifting their priorities or communication style to better fit their manager’s preferences.  These two aspects—understanding and adapting—are central to proactive efforts in managing up effectively. The researchers concluded that MYB also serves to empower employees to take the initiative for managing their relationship with their managers.     What skills do leaders need? Modern leadership requires a balance of credibility, connection, and clarity. Researchers have identified four practices that enhance influence: Organisational Intelligence: An understanding of both formal and informal power structures enables leaders to act ethically, with strategic intent and heightened awareness of the interpersonal dynamics within the organisation.  Authentic Team and Self-Promotion: Communicate the contributions of both the leader and their teams in a way that builds pride, trust, and alignment, without appearing self-serving.  Building Trust: Influential leaders earn both personal and professional trust by balancing empathy with accountability, and urgency with patience.  Leveraging Networks: Influence is amplified through strong, diverse networks. Leaders who build and maintain connections with all key stakeholders are better positioned to gain support and accelerate outcomes.    “Our ability to persuade is based on two factors: how people make decisions, and what we do to influence those decisions.” Russell Granger     Emotional Triggers and Ethical Influence Effective influence also draws on an understanding of human motivation. Organisational psychologists have found that three types of influence appeals are particularly effective: Logical appeals (Head)  – Focusing on data, rationale, and outcomes Emotional appeals (Heart)  – Connecting to personal values or shared purpose Cooperative appeals (Hands)  – Engaging others through collaboration and consultation When these approaches are used ethically and authentically, they create momentum, trust, and alignment—even in the absence of authority.     Practical Steps: Researchers have identified the following approach to influencing without authority: Engage and Ask  – Begin with curiosity. Ask questions to understand what motivates others. Connect and Align  – Identify shared goals and interests to build a connection. Legitimise Your Leadership  – Establish credibility without relying on formal authority. Activate Hope  – Highlight outcomes that matter to others and give them a compelling reason to support your initiative.    “An organisation is composed of superiors and subordinates, each of whom can influence the other; for the proper and effective functioning of the organisation, a kind of harmony and sound relationship between the two is needed.” Ansari & Kapoor (1987)  Final Thoughts The most effective leaders don’t rely solely on their position; they always remember that the goal is to inspire, not to manipulate. Leaders influence through relationships, credibility, and alignment with shared purpose, skills that are increasingly vital in today’s collaborative, cross-functional environments.       As always, please  email  me if you or anyone in your network would benefit from coaching.     If you would like to set up a meeting with me, please head to my calendarbridge by clicking    here :  https://www.calendarbridge.com/book/jotPVTT Please click  here  if you would like to read my past blogs.   References: Ansari, M. A., & Kapoor, A. (1987). Organizational context and upward influence tactics.  Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes , 40(1), 39–49.  https://doi.org/10.1016/0749-5978(87)90004-5 Barbuto, J. E., & Moss, J. A. (2006). Dispositional effects in intra-organizational influence tactics: A meta-analytic review.  Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies , 12(3), 30–48.  https://doi.org/10.1177/107179190601200303 Barbuto, J. E., & Scholl, R. W. (1999). Leaders’ motivation and influence tactics.  Journal of Leadership Studies , 5(3), 3–11.  https://doi.org/10.1177/107179199900500301 Cheng, J. L. C. (1983). Organizational context and upward influence tactics: An empirical study of managers in ten Chinese organizations.  Organizational Behavior and Human Performance , 32(2), 250–271.  https://doi.org/10.1016/0030-5073(83)90150-8 Gajendran, R. S., Mistry, S., & Tangirala, S. (2022). Managing your boss (MYB) as a proactive followership behavior: Construct validation and theory development.  Personnel Psychology , 77(2).  https://doi.org/10.1111/peps.12545 Granger, R. P. (2021).  Influencing without authority: A four-part formula . Wharton Executive Education.  https://executiveeducation.wharton.upenn.edu/thought-leadership/wharton-at-work/2021/05/influencing-without-authority/ Hallenbeck, G. (2023).  4 keys to strengthen your ability to influence others . Center for Creative Leadership.  https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/4-keys-strengthen-ability-influence-others/ Kipnis, D., Schmidt, S. M., & Wilkinson, I. (1980). Intraorganizational influence tactics: Explorations in getting one's way.  Journal of Applied Psychology , 65(4), 440–452.  https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-9010.65.4.440 Schmidt, S. M., & Kipnis, D. (1984). Managerial strategies for dealing with upward influence attempts.  Organizational Behavior and Human Performance , 33(1), 133–150.  https://doi.org/10.1016/0030-5073(84)90019-4 Yukl, G., & Falbe, C. M. (1990). Influence tactics and objectives in upward, downward, and lateral influence attempts.  Journal of Applied Psychology , 75(2), 132–140.  https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-9010.75.2.132

Take that night train to Memphis Take that night train to Memphis And when you arrive at the station I'll be right there to meet you I'll be right there to greet you So don't turn down my invitation" Night Train to Memphis by Roy Acuff and His Smoky Mountain Boys (Click here for the song) Designed by vectorjuice / Freepik One of the most rewarding aspects of my work is the diversity of people, roles, industries, and ideas. Every coaching conversation brings a new lens through which to view leadership, business, and the broader world of work.   With the rapid advancement of technological innovation, industrial integration, and the digital economy, we are witnessing a surge in industrial diversification, often marked by “cross-border” business ventures. Among the most complex and consequential decisions faced by organisational leaders are whether to pursue diversification and, if so, to what extent. In recent years, the literature on industrial diversification has increasingly highlighted the critical role of leaders’ perceptions and mental models in shaping these strategic decisions.   Should leaders gain exposure to different professions, industries, and perspectives? Researchers have consistently found that stepping into unfamiliar environments sharpens creative thinking. For individuals and leadership teams alike, curiosity across disciplines and industries deepens understanding of how economic shifts and market changes affect both people and organisations. In today’s evolving landscape, success increasingly depends on cross-sector insight, strategic agility, and a mindset of continuous learning. This kind of broad, strategic curiosity is vital—not just for personal development but for organisational effectiveness. In leadership, it is reflected in what researchers call strategic attentional breadth—the extent to which leadership teams scan widely and deeply across the external environment for relevant trends, signals, and opportunities.   Leadership teams with high attentional breadth are better equipped to:   Identify emerging needs and spot growth opportunities by accessing a diverse range of perspectives and information.   Engage in sense-making and sense-giving, interpreting how external dynamics relate to internal capabilities, shaping strategies, evaluating implementation paths, and anticipating potential challenges.   Make more informed diversification decisions, based on a rich understanding of market, stakeholder, and regulatory dynamics.   When leadership teams consider a wide range of external inputs—including stakeholder expectations, policy changes, and competitive shifts—they’re better positioned to act decisively and creatively. They can spot hidden risks, uncover untapped opportunities, access critical resources, and align their actions with broader trends.   In contrast, narrow attentional breadth can limit a team’s exposure to fresh ideas, resulting in over-reliance on familiar patterns and constrained innovation. Teams may miss early signals of change, reducing their responsiveness and strategic flexibility.   Importantly, while broad scanning is beneficial, researchers warn that internal divisions—known as leadership team fault-lines—can reduce attentional breadth. These divisions may fragment how information is interpreted or prioritised, ultimately weakening a team’s ability to think expansively and act cohesively.   Regular readers will recognise the recurring theme: individuals, organisations, and leadership teams thrive when they step outside their comfort zones. Curiosity, cross-boundary thinking, and openness to new information are core drivers of strategic insight and long-term success.   Over the past 17 years,  I have had the privilege of enhancing the leadership capability and well-being of CEOs, senior executives, and middle managers through leadership coaching. My clients span a wide range of sectors, including major banks, all levels of government (local, state, and federal), information technology, tobacco, professional services, retail, healthcare, construction, financial services, financial planning, merchant banking, insurance, legal, energy, higher education, communications, allied health, recruitment, manufacturing, hospitality, superannuation, and transport.   In addition to my commercial work, I regularly provide pro bono coaching to  CEO's in the not-for-profit sector.   Over the next few months, I’m leaning into that diversity in a new way. I’ve set myself a challenge: to attend a wider range of in-person events across different sectors, professions, and topics. Next  Event? Please Count Me In If you're attending a professional event—whether it’s a conference, workshop, seminar, or networking session—I’d be excited to join you. It’s always more engaging to attend with someone else. Most importantly, it gives me a chance to step into your world—to better understand your challenges, your insights, and your perspective. In return, I’ll be extending invitations to the events I’m attending as well. The goal is simple: mutual learning and fresh thinking. Please click here if you would like to read my past blogs.  References: Chen, W., Chen, C. and Xiong, X. (2023). Top management team faultlines and corporate industrial diversification: The mediating role of strategic attentional breadth. Frontiers in Psychology, 14. doi: https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1102192 . ‌ Jara-Figueroa, C., Jun, B., Glaeser, E.L. and Hidalgo, C.A. (2018). The role of industry-specific, occupation-specific, and location-specific knowledge in the growth and survival of new firms. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, [online] 115(50), pp.12646–12653. doi: https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1800475115 .   ‌

“We're not gonna take it No, we ain't gonna take it We're not gonna take it anymore Oh, you're so condescending Your call is never ending” We’re Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister (Click here for the song)      Image by cookie_studio on Freepik     "The research indicates that many workers feel undervalued, highlighting a gap between employee expectations and current compensation levels. This can be due to stagnant wages despite increased responsibilities or a perception, whether accurate or not, that their compensation lags behind industry standards for similar roles."   Gorton 8th May 2025   What is Workplace Fairness? Fairness has been described as the “glue” that enables effective work relationships and as central to defining the nature of the employee-employer relationship. Researchers have found that fairness isn’t solely about following rules or complying with legal standards. It’s about how individuals are treated, in terms of equity, honesty, and impartiality. It encompasses how employees perceive the fairness of workplace policies and processes, as well as how appropriate and just they feel the organisation's decisions and actions.   Fairness includes: • Distributive fairness – fairness in outcomes and rewards, • Procedural fairness – fairness in how decisions are made, and • Interactional fairness – fairness in how people are treated interpersonally (Qasim, Rizvi & Irshad, 2020).   “A top law firm is scrambling in the wake of a ‘malicious’ all-staff email leaking the pay of its entire workforce and criticising key executives.” Natalie Brown   The role of perception:  Employees' attitudes and behaviours are shaped by their perception of fairness. Rather than expecting absolute equality, they evaluate fairness based on the balance between their input and the outcomes received. Leaders, therefore, need to be concerned with both being fair and with being perceived as fair. Because fairness is subjective, a lack of transparency can lead to misjudgements about contributions and rewards. Leaders should foster open dialogue to manage expectations and ensure rewards reflect actual performance, avoiding equal treatment for unequal effort, which can demotivate top performers.  The role of emotions:  When fairness is violated, researchers have found that it doesn’t just frustrate people—it activates anxiety and anger. Anger can lead to counterproductive work behaviours, a strong signal that unfair treatment is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Anxiety can sometimes initiate problem prevention behaviours focused on addressing the unfair event. Thus, some anxiety may not always be negative for the individual or the organisation.   Research shows that prior experiences also shape how people interpret and experience unfairness. Interestingly, researchers found that unfair events may be experienced as particularly perplexing for individuals who previously felt fairly treated. Continued uncertainty and ambiguity will increase the likelihood of perceptions of unfairness. Researchers have found that while the behaviour of a leader impacts how their subordinates perceive work, it is important to be cognisant of any other aspects of work and working conditions that may influence the subordinates’ perceptions of fairness at work. The importance of fairness: Meta-analyses have shown that workplace fairness contributes to favourable psychosocial working conditions and protects the psychological health of employees. Fairness protects against burnout and emotional exhaustion. It meets core psychological needs such as belonging, control, and self-worth, and plays a vital role in shaping workplace relationships and behaviour. Fair treatment fosters trust, commitment, stronger teamwork, improved performance, reduced conflict and is consistently linked to higher job satisfaction, trust, and engagement. It encourages organisational citizenship behaviours—when employees go beyond their formal roles to support the organisation. When policies, resource distribution, and interpersonal interactions are perceived as fair, employees feel respected and valued, leading to greater participation, motivation, and commitment at work.   What is The Role of a Leader? Researchers have identified the critical role of immediate managers in shaping employees’ perceptions of fairness. By modelling equity in procedures and resource distribution, leaders reduce ambiguity, clarify expectations, and minimise role conflict, ensuring employees have the clarity needed to perform effectively. Transparent task allocation, grounded in team-agreed norms, enhances trust in leadership and reduces emotional exhaustion. Open discussions about what is considered “fair” can prevent social loafing and free-riding, while reinforcing mutual understanding and psychological safety within the team. In managing rewards, leaders must strike a balance between fairness and motivation. Equal distribution can unintentionally demotivate high performers if their extra effort goes unrecognised. Instead, reward systems should be transparent and based on clear, unbiased assessments of individual contributions. Transparency in both task and reward systems helps correct cognitive biases, where employees may overestimate their own efforts while undervaluing others’. When fairness is visible and consistent, it not only fosters trust and engagement but also supports the overall well-being and cohesion of the team.     Final thoughts: Regular readers would know that unfair events are inevitable; engaging in problem prevention behaviours in the wake of an unfair event can have positive implications for overall fairness judgments. Researchers have found that problem prevention behaviours not only can support efforts to make positive changes and promote creativity but also serve to diminish the negative effects of experiencing unfairness.   References: Abid, G., Zahra, I., Ahmed, S. and Ahmed, A., 2022. How and when fairness perceptions predict job performance and well-being: Exploring the role of burnout and organizational justice. Frontiers in Psychology, [online] 13, p.1054940. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.1054940  Bailey, A., 2023. Three Nonnegotiable Leadership Skills for 2025. MIT Sloan Management Review, [online]. Available at: https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/three-nonnegotiable-leadership-skills-for-2025/  Cortina, J.M., Berry, C.M., Williams, D.N., Amelia, B. and Kinicki, A., 2024. Fairness, or perceived organizational justice, is key to a healthy and productive workplace. PLOS ONE, [online] 19(2), e0312951. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0312951  Greenberg, J., 2018. Perceptions of fairness in the workplace: The case of organizational justice. Frontiers in Psychology, [online] 9, p.90. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00090  Hassan, M.M., Wood, B., Raheem, S., Kiani, U.S., and Wei, J., 2019. How leaders shape followers’ justice perceptions: The mediating role of ethical leadership. Frontiers in Psychology, [online] 10, p.2690. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02690  Jones, D.A. and Skarlicki, D.P., 2013. How perceptions of fairness can change: A dynamic model of organizational justice. Organizational Psychology Review, 3(2), pp.138–160. https://doi.org/10.1177/2041386612461665  Wonde, B.Y., Abegaz, M.B. and Jama, A.I. (2024) Research Square, Psychological contract violation and turnover intention among medical professionals: A moderated mediation model. [preprint] https://www.researchsquare.com/article/rs-6554240/v1  Work Psychology Group, n.d. Perception of fairness – why this is crucial in the workplace. [online] Available at: https://www.workpsychologygroup.com/perception-of-fairness-why-this-is-crucial-in-the-workplace/    News.com.au, 2024. ‘Serious consequences’: Staff outrage at Slater & Gordon over email leak of salaries. [online] Available at: https://www.news.com.au/finance/work/at-work/serious-consequences-staff-outrage-at-slater-gordon-over-email-leak-of-salaries/news-story/6d0927eb126799884c4c82350122cd75  Williams, S., 2025. Majority of Australian workers would switch jobs for a pay rise. CFOtech Australia, [online] 8 May. Available at: https://cfotech.com.au/story/majority-of-australian-workers-would-switch-jobs-for-a-pay-rise

"Tamar I don't have time to do any work, my life is one big meeting-a-thon"  We have all had those weeks, where like my client, it seems that all we ever do is go to meetings and there is no time to do any work. The meetings seem to be pointless, they blur into each other, at best people zone out, at worst they fall asleep. Photo by Abdulbosit Melikuziev  on Unsplash ________________________________________________________________________ If you think back to the meetings you have been at over the past week chances are someone has done the following:  Arrived late Had a side conversation Sent a few texts or emails Snacked Complained Was unprepared Rambled Interrupted Stared into space  Left early Kept quiet Didn't offer to do anything Never came According to a recent study 90% of people daydream in meetings. If you are thinking this blog isn’t for me recent research has indicated that senior managers have blind spots in their ability to identify problems and make positive improvements to their meetings.  These tips may seem a bit detailed but you would be surprised how many leaders forget the basics. What can you do?  A: Before the meeting: Prepare 1. Be very clear on the purpose:  It seems logical but rarely do we actually think about the main reason why we are having a meeting and what exactly we want to achieve.  We often don’t decide in advance if we want to: share information; gain information; gain commitment or a combination of all three. As I described in my  30 sec video blog last week, we tell our staff we are consulting but we are actually telling. 2. The participants have to match the purpose: If you want input and commitment, then the guest list needs to be small, in a large group “social loafing occurs” that is when we reduce our efforts in the presence of others. For proper discussions you need less than 8 people. For example, it may be useful to think about what perspectives are essential to comprehensively answer the question you are posing, and/or who is impacted by the information you are sharing. To avoid ‘group think’ it is often helpful to invite a 'random' from another part of the business who will broaden the perspective of the conversation.  3. Communicate the purpose through a compelling short agenda Try something different and make the agenda a series of questions. This also sets the tone for inclusion. B: During the meeting: Run it well 1. Keep it short and stick to the allocated time: Start on time:  Even if people aren’t there you should begin to set the tone that time matters. Get someone to be your time keeper and give a warning bell when there are 15 minutes to go. Don’t be afraid to end early, if you had a question to answer and it been answered. 2. Get everyone’s attention: One way is to guide them through The Third space: The First Space is the moment after a meeting/ event ends. Use this time to reflect on what you have just accomplished and make a note of key learnings and the all important to do list. The Second Space is the pause, the reset, the clearing the head. See my    resources page for some tips. The Third Space is the preparation for where you will going next. ie who are you meeting, why are you meeting them, what do you want to achieve, what do you need to know. 3. Introduce the purpose, duration and process: Re-state why everyone is meeting and in one sentence describe what you want to achieve. Click here for tips on a short pitch.  Be explicit that the last 15 minutes will involve the allocation of actions/task to everyone. 4. Use creative facilitation techniques:  To shake up the process make the meeting active: eg: Ask a question and get the group to write the answers on paper on the wall, and choose someone who is really passionate about the topic to summarise the ideas. Form sub-groups of people who don’t normally work together to generate ideas. Hold the meeting in a creative but relevant environment:   my client who works for a development company took her underperforming team to an unfinished development site to hold a meeting on the importance of collaboration.  They literately walked around the site and discussed how the different stages of the development process were impacted by effective broader business collaboration.  A highly active meeting does not allow people to fall asleep, disappear into the furniture or engage in other activities. 5. Keep an eye on the non-verbals and call out lack of interest: A client of mine said to his team, “You all seem bored, but you know this is important, who has a suggestion as to how to keep you all focused and involved? ” Sometimes you need to be more subtle and tactful, the aim is not to embarrass or marginalise people. If you notice someone hasn’t said a word all meeting just politely ask their opinion.  6. Set tasks for everyone: The group is together for a purpose, and therefore there will be something everyone needs to do afterwards, ensure that tangible actions are allocated with clear timeframes and accountability.  Make a date for a short follow up meeting to keep on track. Get someone else to be responsible for documenting the allocation of tasks. Set up accountability partners/processes to ensure things are actually done. 7. Leverage off the power of the group: You know your guests, so mix them up to encourage creativity and build new connections.  8. Have a bit of fun. Even if you aren’t creative then allocate this bit to someone else but bring some joy into your meetings even when the topics are serious.  Click here for tips. C: After the meeting: probably the most critical  1. Get feedback formally: Ask the participants:What went well?What could be improved?What should we do differently? 2. Take time to personally reflect and observe: Were your questions answered?Was your purpose met?  ie: Are people more informed?  Did they change their behaviour? Are people  doing what they promised etc? 3. Analyse and act on the feedback:  Talk to your colleagues, mentor or coach about the feedback and decide what needs changing and what should stay the same.  Remember interpersonal dynamics are complex, and people are creatures of habit and resist change so take it slowly and be patient.  ----------------------------------- References: https://www.akkencloud.com/meetingbehavior/ Meetings, Bloody Meetings Ross, Chris . Professional Safety ; Des Plaines  Vol. 57, Iss. 7,   (Jul 2012): 28. Perceived Meeting Effectiveness: The Role of Design Characteristics Leach, Desmond J ;  Rogelberg, Steven G ;  Warr, Peter B ;  Burnfield, Jennifer L . Journal of Business and Psychology ; New York  Vol. 24, Iss. 1,   (Mar 2009): 65-76. DOI:10.1007/s10869-009- The effects of stand-up and sit-down meeting formats on meeting outcomes Bluedorn, Allen C ;  Turban, Daniel B ;  Love, Mary Sue . Journal of Applied Psychology ; Washington  Vol. 84, Iss. 2,   (Apr 1999): 277-285.

“The red poppy has special significance for Australians as they were among the first to flower in the devastated battlefields of northern France and Belgium in the First World War. In soldiers’ folklore, the vivid red of the poppy came from the blood of their comrades soaking the ground.”  https://www.army.gov.au/about-us/history-and-research/traditions/red-poppy       Personal photo. Despite being on leave, I felt compelled to pause and share a few thoughts on remembrance. On April 25, we mark ANZAC Day. Just days later, on April 29, Israel observes Yom HaZikaron—its National Day of Mourning for fallen soldiers and victims of terror. It ’s early spring here in Israel—one of my favourite seasons. I delight in seeing the flowers bloom, enjoying the abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables, and watching people embrace the warmth of the sun. I’ve also had the privilege of hiking through the stunning and varied landscapes this country offers. In the Judean Hills and the arid desert in the south, I’ve been struck by the unexpected appearance of red flowers— kalaniot , as they’re called in Hebrew—bursting from cracks in the earth. Since the First World War, poppies have served as a symbol of both remembrance and renewal—a poignant expression of mourning and optimism. Although the  kalanit  is not the same flower, post-October 7, its vivid red hue has come to carry a similar meaning in Israeli society: honour, sorrow, and hope. Seeing them scattered across this ancient, wounded land reminds me of the bravery of all those who serve to protect our democratic freedoms. The bond between Australia and Israel stretches back over a century. In 1917, during the First World War, the Ottomans—aligned with Germany—threatened the British-controlled Suez Canal. After two failed offensives on Gaza, General Edmund Allenby devised a bold plan: strike the fortified desert town of Beer Sheba where the Ottomans least expected. On October 31, the ANZAC Light Horse Brigade launched one of history’s last great cavalry charges. Ordered not to dismount, they galloped directly into enemy fire, bayonets drawn. Their speed and courage caught the Turkish defenders off guard. The victory shattered the Ottoman line and paved the way for the British to take Jerusalem weeks later—a turning point in the region’s history and a lasting symbol of the Australia–Israel connection. ANZAC Day is a time to pause and honour the brave soldiers who gave their lives in pursuit of freedom, dignity, and peace. Their sacrifice helped shape the safe, democratic world we are privileged to live in today.    My hope for the year ahead is best captured in the words of the prophet Isaiah:   “They shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.”   Isaiah 2:4       References and more information. https://www.timesofisrael.com/hostage-forum-publishes-health-report-for-24-living-hostages-warns-time-is-running-out/   https://www.army.gov.au/about-us/history-and-research/traditions/red-poppy   https://allisrael.com/blog/the-kalanit-israel-s-national-flower-and-a-symbol-of-the-land-s-rich-history   https://tzurtours.com/anzac-israel-battle-of-beersheba/ https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/yeshayahu-isaiah-chapter-2#:~:text=2%3A4%20And%20he%20shall,they%20learn%20war%20any%20more .

“Giant steps are what you take Walking on the moon I hope my leg don't break Walking on the moon We could walk forever Walking on the moon We could be together Walking on, walking on the moon”  Walking on the Moon  by The Police (Click  here  for the song)  Designed by Freepik   “I keep talking to you about making time for strategic work, but I never do it. I’m motivated, but I’m not shifting my habits.” Coaching client “Forming a habit means connecting a situation you often encounter with the action you usually take. These connections help by creating impulses that push us to do the usual action without thinking. But the pushes from habits are just one of many feelings we might have at any time. Impulses are like babies, each crying for our attention. We can only tend to one at a time. These impulses come from various sources – intentions, plans, emotions, and habits. We act according to whichever impulse demands our attention by crying the loudest at any given moment. Habit impulses usually cry the loudest, guiding us to do what we normally do, even when other impulses are vying for our attention. However, there are times when other impulses cry louder.”  Dr Benjamin Gardner Intention vs action: What gets in the way? Regular readers would know that long term behaviour change is hard. It's challenging to break free of bad habits because our brain relies on automatic routines. The brain views all repetitive behaviours as important and can't differentiate between good ones and bad ones. When trying to rid ourselves of habits, we tend to gravitate toward a quick-fix solution and avoid discomfort.      How do we learn habits? Habits are formed through repeated actions in response to cues. For example, entering an office may trigger the habit of sitting. Over time, these actions become automatic, requiring less conscious thought. Automaticity, the key aspect of habit, allows people to perform familiar actions without actively deciding to do so—even when they intend not to. Automatic actions can happen efficiently, without awareness, intention, or control.  Psychological research shows that repeatedly performing a simple action in a consistent context leads to habit formation through associative learning. Once an action becomes linked to external cues, reliance on conscious attention and motivation decreases. As a result, habits tend to persist even when motivation or interest fades. Additionally, habits improve cognitive efficiency by automating routine actions, freeing mental resources for other tasks.     Something practical: sitting Research shows that prolonged sitting is becoming more common worldwide, with negative effects beyond physical health. It can lead to fatigue, reduced work productivity, increased absenteeism, and impair executive function, attention, and memory.     “People employed in office-based work spend a majority of their work time in a seated posture (70–85%), which contributes to their whole day sitting exposure. Desk-based office workers are also found to spend their leisure time in sedentary positions, apart from working hours, compared to their less sedentary counterparts.” Chandrasekaran, B., Pesola, A.J., Rao, C.R. and Arumugam, A. (2021) Why should we move at work? Researchers have found that frequent breaks at work with moderate levels of physical activity improve cognitive function. Walking boosts blood flow, delivering more glucose to the brain and enhancing its efficiency. Regular readers may already be familiar with the beneficial effects of microbreaks on well-being, problem-solving, and gaining perspective. Various workplace interventions aim to reduce sedentary behaviour, including height-adjustable desks, standing or walking meetings, environmental modifications such as accessible stairwells, reducing elevator use, promoting active commuting, and encouraging physical activity. Despite solid intellectual arguments, practical options at work, and educational campaigns, sedentary behaviour is pervasive.  So, what can be done?   The automatic nature of sitting consists of two key aspects:- the degree to which it happens unconsciously and- the challenge of controlling or resisting it. Researchers have found that sitting is a deeply ingrained habit due to the power of unconscious behaviour. This includes a lack of awareness when sitting begins (e.g., "I sit without thinking") and difficulty in identifying or choosing alternatives (e.g., "I struggle to avoid sitting"). Encouraging office workers who sit for over six hours a day to do an hour of intense exercise at the gym may not be practical. Instead, researchers have found that promoting frequent light activities during work hours helps to counteract the negative effects of prolonged sitting. Researchers have found that interventions that focus on disrupting sitting habits by increasing conscious awareness of sitting and providing more opportunities to choose alternative postures are the most effective.   A computer prompt: Researchers tested a pop-up prompt appearing every 45 minutes on workers' screens. Clicking it triggered a full-screen message prompting them to stand or move for a chosen duration. Users could start immediately, delay it, or dismiss it entirely. All participants received visual feedback on accepted prompts to track their progress. The study found that prompts help reduce automatic sitting by increasing awareness of breaks. By making breaks more noticeable, prompts made standing or moving feel easier and gave individuals more control over their behaviour. Some new research: Changing the script. Recent research has explored the Script Elicitation method, which helps people understand and adjust their daily routines in two steps. Step one involves describing daily activities, the order in which they occur, and the triggers that prompt transitions between tasks. This process results in a detailed action plan. Step two uses this plan as a tool for making changes, allowing individuals to develop healthier or more effective habits. Please click  here  to find the questions used by the researchers on my resources page (the article is open access)   The method works in two ways:  (1) It encourages reflection on unconscious behaviours, turning procedural knowledge into conscious understanding. (2) By increasing awareness, it allows participants to plan and modify their habits by adding, removing, or reorganising actions. This deeper understanding empowers them to make meaningful changes. Recent research has demonstrated that supporting people to reflect on and make realistic modifications to their day-to-day, habitually executed routines offers an effective method for promoting change among office workers.  The script method in practice: an example from the literature.  Figure 1: Example of Current script     Figure 2: Example of Alternative script Peer, W., Mathews, R.R., Ng, X., Wong, C. and Gardner, B. (2024) What happens when we are tired?  Researchers have found that when people feel sleepier than usual, they are more likely to rely on habitual behaviours. In other words, tiredness makes individuals default to familiar routines rather than making conscious decisions. What about my client? During the next coaching session, she explained that she has designated Friday as her strategy day. Her calendar remains clear, free from client work, and she starts the day with a catch-up session with her mentor, which helps set the agenda and establish accountability. Final thoughts Last week, I decided to revisit my Prioritisation and Values Worksheet, (click  here  for the resource) and make a conscious effort to integrate this practice into my daily work routine. My daily work script is changing.  My goal is to transition to a more structured and organised approach to my work, which is aligned with my goals, priorities and values.       ----------------------------------- References: Chrismas, B.C.R., Taylor, L., Cherif, A., Sayegh, S. and Bailey, D.P. (2019). Breaking up prolonged sitting with moderate-intensity walking improves attention and executive function in Qatari females.  PLOS ONE , 14(7), p.e0219565. doi: https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0219565.‌   Chandrasekaran, B., Pesola, A.J., Rao, C.R. and Arumugam, A. (2021). Does breaking up prolonged sitting improve cognitive functions in sedentary adults? A mapping review and hypothesis formulation on the potential physiological mechanisms.  BMC Musculoskeletal Disorders , 22(1). doi: https://doi.org/10.1186/s12891-021-04136-5 .  Hendriksen, I.J.M., Bernaards, C.M., Steijn, W.M.P. and Hildebrandt, V.H. (2016). Longitudinal Relationship Between Sitting Time on a Working Day and Vitality, Work Performance, Presenteeism, and Sickness Absence.  Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine , 58(8), pp.784–789. doi: https://doi.org/10.1097/jom.0000000000000809 .   Gardner, B., Mainsbridge, C.P., Rebar, A.L. et al. Breaking the Habit? Identifying Discrete Dimensions of Sitting Automaticity and Their Responsiveness to a Sitting-Reduction Intervention. Int.J. Behav. Med. 31, 55–63 (2024).  https://doi.org/10.1007/s12529-023-10155-4   Gardner, B., Rebar, A.L., Sanne de Wit and Lally, P. (2024). What is habit and how can it be used to change real‐world behaviour? Narrowing the theory‐reality gap. Social and personality psychology compass, 18(6). doi: https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12975.‌ Peer , W., Mathews, R.R., Ng, X., Wong, C. and Gardner, B. (2024). Can ‘Script Elicitation’ Methods Be Used to Promote Physical Activity? An Acceptability Study. Behavioral Sciences, 14(7), pp.572–572. doi: https://doi.org/10.3390/bs14070572 .  Gardner, B., Rebar, A.L. and Lally, P. (2022). How does habit form? Guidelines for tracking real-world habit formation. Cogent Psychology, 9(1). doi: https://doi.org/10.1080/23311908.2022.2041277 .  Gardner, B., Lally, P. and Wardle, J. (2012). Making health habitual: The psychology of ‘habit-formation’ and general practice. British Journal of General Practice, [online] 62(605), pp.664–666. doi: https://doi.org/10.3399/bjgp12x659466.‌

Personal photo of me sandboarding in Western Australia.   “I’m putting wellbeing as a standard item on the agenda for our weekly team meetings. It’s my responsibility to ensure that it is an integral component of our culture" Peer supervision with a Colleague. Indulging in times of pressure. “Excess-consumption in the general population, whether economic, dietary, or substance-oriented, presents numerous health and social challenges. Psychoactive substances, energy-dense food, and certain media and retail products tend to provide immediate and exaggerated reinforcement, in turn promoting excessive consumption that contributes to individual and societal harms.” Belinda C Goodwin Excess consumption is a common maladaptive health behaviour, particularly with unhealthy products that are prone to overuse, addiction, or compulsive consumption, even without a formal addiction diagnosis. Many individuals exhibit sub-clinical addictive tendencies,  and researchers have found that a significant portion of the population engages in unhealthy overconsumption. Even without a pathological disorder, excessive consumption poses serious public health risks. Overeating leads to obesity and preventable diseases, substance use contributes to violence and physical harm, and overspending results in financial distress and mental health struggles. These issues affect not only those with diagnosed addictions but also individuals prone to sub-clinical overindulgence. Regular readers would know there is a flow-on negative impact on family, friends and employers.   Researchers have identified the desire to escape discomfort or distress as a key motive for excessive consumption. During periods of significant change and stress—such as mergers, technological advancements, regulatory shifts, or economic instability—unhealthy indulgence becomes a common coping mechanism. Unfortunately, many people indulge as a way to unwind or relieve daily stress.     Can indulgence be healthy?  “Indulging adaptively can have positive implications for facilitating goal pursuit and promoting resilience and psychological well-being” Shuna S Khoo, Lile Jia, Junhua Dang, and Ying Li .  Researchers have suggested that  adaptive indulgence includes the following: 1.   Selecting the right type of indulgence, 2.   Integrating indulgence into long-term goals, and 3.   Savouring indulgence to build psychological resilience. A balanced approach to healthy indulgence encourages mindful engagement in pleasurable healthy activities.  Researchers have found that low-intensity pleasures during micro breaks enhance work experiences without disrupting focus. Research on the joy of eating reveals significant differences in how various aspects of eating influence enjoyment. Eating pleasure derived from social experiences, food preparation, or nostalgic memories is often linked to positive dietary and health outcomes, while pleasure driven by purely sensory gratification is more likely to be associated with poor health outcomes. When people view indulgence as an ally rather than an obstacle to success, they are less likely to avoid it or feel anxious about occasional lapses. Instead, they focus on integrating indulgence in a way that supports their long-term goals. Researchers have found that "temptation-bundling"—combining a pleasurable activity (e.g., listening to an engaging audiobook) with a challenging task (e.g., running on a treadmill)—helps sustain motivation by making long-term goals feel more immediately rewarding. Research into self-regulation suggests that positive emotions can enhance goal achievement. The ability to increase positive emotions and manage negative ones—such as through mindfulness—is essential for emotional stability and overall well-being. Savouring a positive experience enhances positive emotions, buffers stress-related physiological responses,  reduces intrusive thoughts and strengthens resilience. By amplifying savouring, individuals may experience more everyday joys by becoming more attuned to life’s positive moments. Research shows that consciously savouring a positive experience for just a week can improve resilience, reduce depressive symptoms, and increase happiness.      Researchers have found that indulgence not only boosts well-being and happiness but also aids individuals in recovering from the emotional strain of work. Leisure and pleasure are essential for maintaining psychological balance. In addition, participating in leisure activities during work reduces stress, prevents burnout, and fosters positive emotions. In this context, it may seem counterintuitive that indulgence involves more than just enjoyment.    “Self-control is commonly defined as successful long-term goal pursuit in the face of conflicting hedonic goals (e.g., staying in the office to work on the paper rather than joining the colleagues at the bar;  Baumeister et al., 2007 ). " Bernecker, K. and Becker, D. Why don’t people indulge? “Hence, individuals concerned with long-term goal pursuit may face an unusual dilemma. On the one hand, they experience stress and negative emotions from effortful pursuits; enjoying leisure and pleasurable activities is an important avenue for them to recover energy and motivation. On the other hand, people often find the joy of indulgence contaminated by stressful reactions, such as cognitive conflict,  intrusive thoughts, and negative emotions.” Shuna S Khoo , Lile Jia , Junhua Dang , Ying Li  Indulgence is generally associated with substance abuse, overeating, laziness, and their negative consequences.  Sadly,  researchers have found that people often seek justification to pursue adaptive, healthy indulgence. Since the benefits of indulgence are less tangible than those of necessities, individuals feel the need to rationalise their choices. Many convince themselves that they deserve a reward for their progress or need comfort to navigate life’s challenges. This mindset often stops people from indulging or from experiencing its benefits.  Clinical psychologists note that a chronic lack of pleasure or a general inability to savour positive experiences are indicators of clinical disorders, such as depression.     Stress often stems from the belief that indulgence brings only short-term pleasure and disrupts long-term goals. However, if seen as a support rather than a barrier to success, people won’t avoid it or feel guilty. Instead, they’ll find ways to incorporate it into their long-term plans. Recent research suggests that hedonic and long-term goals can coexist, allowing activities to provide both immediate pleasure and lasting benefits. However, pleasure isn’t always guaranteed, even in enjoyable pursuits. Regular exercise can sometimes feel exhausting, but using your fitness to swim with a manta ray in the deep ocean is pure joy. This insight challenges the assumption that seeking pleasure is always effortless. When used wisely, indulgence can enhance both the experience and persistence in effortful tasks.    What is the role of the leader?  In the lead up to a major change occurring, there is the focus on the key deliverables, tasks and goals. Typically, the well-being of employees is at best ignored and at worst criticised. Regular readers know that the key to success is dependent on psychologically healthy employees.    When a leader openly discusses healthy indulgences—through education, structured reminders, and dedicated time for their practice—it sends a strong message to the team. Regular readers understand that when leaders confidently embrace adaptive stress management, they not only model positive behaviour but also create an environment where employees feel empowered to do the same.   Final thoughts:  This blog post was inspired by my holiday indulgences.  As a family, we took a 1,200-km road trip from Perth to Ningaloo Reef, immersing ourselves in the breathtaking natural beauty of our vast country. The vibrant contrasts of red earth, scattered shrubs, and turquoise waters were a constant feast for the eyes. Gliding slowly over a coral reef, I fully immersed myself in the moment, imprinting the vivid sights and emotions into memory. Discovering an underwater garden teeming with coral and tropical fish, I was mesmerised by the shimmering scales of one that drifted just centimetres from my face. I followed a turtle as it gracefully swam beneath me, delighting in the moment it popped its tiny head above the water. A playful sea lion, full of curiosity, swam toward me, its expression almost human-like in its joy. As we followed  Stingrays gliding along the ocean floor, they all paused to ensure their youngest remained safe before moving on. We marvelled at the perseverance of a baby turtle making its perilous solo journey to the ocean, navigating dunes, seaweed, and the ever-present threat of seagulls. I appreciate you allowing me to reflect in this way. Writing this blog has helped me savor my experiences, deepening my memories and allowing me to relive the joy they brought. The research on this topic was a rewarding endeavour in itself, further reinforcing my view on the advantages of adaptive indulgence. Personal photo of sunset on the beach near Exmouth, where we saw a baby turtle hatch.  Please click  here  if you would like to read my past blogs.   ----------------------------------- References:   Khoo, S.S., Jia, L., Dang, J. and Li, Y. (2024). Stress-free indulgence: Indulge adaptively to promote goal pursuit and well-being.  Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences , 60, pp.101454–101454. doi: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cobeha.2024.101454.‌ Weapons of mass consumption: The psychological mechanisms driving overindulgence. by Belinda C Goodwin BScPsyc (Hons) August, 2016.  https://acquire.cqu.edu.au/articles/thesis/Weapons_of_mass_consumption_The_psychological_mechanisms_driving_over_indulgence/13443152?file=42083589 Bernecker, K. and Becker, D. (2020). Beyond Self-Control: Mechanisms of Hedonic Goal Pursuit and Its Relevance for Well-Being.  Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , 47(4), p.014616722094199. doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167220941998 .