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There are often poignant times in our lives when we need to make significant decisions that will impact both our personal and professional lives. Often, these choices can be aptly described by Robert Frost’s famous poem “The Road Not Taken”. Interestingly, there is a great deal of research that suggests we are more rational in our decisions at work and more emotional in our decisions in our private lives. This is possibly due to the fact that in the business world we are more inclined and generally required, to provide hard evidence and logical reasoning to justify our decisions. So how should we make a decision that has a personal and professional impact? Typically people will research, seek advice, list the pros and cons of the alternatives, go with their  ‘gut’, or use a combination of all of the above. So let’s look at these strategies in more detail. Conducting research on the surface is quite an objective process, however, you should be mindful that there are no unconscious biases at play and that you are not looking for evidence to support your point of view.   When you consult others are you seeking objective information or just validating your choices? As we get older we know our friends’ values, opinions and biases on many topics. For example, if you have been running your own business and you are head hunted, your entrepreneurial friends will warn you against the new job offer while your more conservative friends will advise you to take the ‘security’ of being an employee. Pros and cons lists can also be troublesome if not done correctly. I have always wondered whether people went with the option that had the longer list of pros, the more palatable list of pros? Or do some people make sure their lists justify the decision they have already made.  Professor Tony Grant from Sydney University adds some important steps to improve the pros and cons process. Firstly, he believes it is essential to clarify your values, to decide what really matters to you at this point in time in your life and then about 5 years into the future before embarking on any significant decision making process. The values clarification helps to place weight on the different pros and cons. Secondly, he recommends you write the pros and cons of the current situation not just the pros and cons of the alternative. This process reminds you to consider the ‘status quo’ as a viable alternative. A properly performed pros and cons process may not produce a clear answer but it will start to open your eyes to the consequences of your decision. What about the idea that we should trust our ‘gut’ or to put it more scientifically, rely on our unconscious?  Anecdotally we all remember the advice that if you can’t solve a problem, go onto the next one and your unconscious will somehow work it out. For decades, psychologists have debated the different roles of the conscious and the unconscious in complex decision-making. Personally, I agree with the conclusions drawn by Hassin and Milyavasky that given the sheer volume of complex problem solving, goal pursuits and self-regulation that we engage in on a daily basis, there must be both unconscious as well as conscious processes at play. In conclusion, there is no ‘right way’ to make a decision. Ideally you should acknowledge your biases and suspend judgment, research, seek advice, identify your personal values, look at the pros and cons of all alternatives (including the status quo) and then allow your brain to make the decision while your attention is engaged elsewhere. Reference: 1. Newell, B.R and Shanks D.R (2014) Unconscious influences on decision making: A critical review, Journal of behavioural and brain sciences 37 ,1-61

Surely you can't be serious? You only want me to change one little thing??  For those who are old enough to remember the silly movie Flying High (or Aeroplane ) from the 80's Click here for the Surely you can't be serious clip.  Summer has arrived in Sydney and we are in the midst of the "silly season". It's that time of the year when we: work hard to finish things, pause to see what we have accomplished, congratulate our team on their accomplishments, celebrate some key moments dream of holidays, start to plan for the year ahead,  eat fresh mangos and cherries, feel the sand between our toes, and go to lots of parties.  This summer we will also be saving water, and praying for rain. Before you fully switch into holiday mode, I wanted to take the opportunity to say thank you for your support over the past year. So what's the New Year challenge?  This year I challenge you to think of the ONE MISSING PIECE, from the way you behave in your life or your work.   Why only one thing??  Regular readers know that long term sustained change is difficult and sometimes we only have the time or brain space to make  an incremental little change in one thing. As you start to do this new thing, notice the bigger impact it starts to have over time. How will I know what to change?  Anyone who is serious about making change gets feedback.  How many people will you ask?  What specific questions will you ask them? Who has the expertise and the exposure to answer the questions accurately? Do you value expertise (competence) over character (honesty) when you build trust with people?  Kim Malone Scott,  favourite question is:  "Is there anything I could do or stop doing that would make it easier to work with me? " Tasha Eurich  reminds her readers, to listen to feedback, take a pause reflect and then respond later.   “it takes courage...to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery rather than choose…the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” Marianne Williamson If you are interested in feedback please the take a look at the following resources:  Work and Life with Stew Friedman Ep 58. Kim Malone Scott: Radical Candor https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/work-and-life-with-stew-friedman/e/53187440 A TED Original Podcast: Adam Grant: How to trust people you don't like https://www.ted.com/talks/worklife_with_adam_grant_how_to_trust_people_you_don_t_like/transcript A TED Original Podcast: Adam Grant: How to love criticism https://www.ted.com/talks/worklife_with_adam_grant_how_to_love_criticism/transcript Tasha Eurich, (2017) Insight: Why We're Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life Chapter 7: feedback What Are People Saying About You When You Leave the Room? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StofLZ4jj2A But this blog was only meant to be about one thing?  So maybe that one thing will be to learn more about feedback..... or not...  Click here if you want me to keep you accountable, I am working intermittently until mid January.

During afternoon tea a few months ago at the Sydney Wellbeing at Work Event, I was discussing the parallels between diabetes and mental illness in the workplace  and a marvellous woman quietly said to me, "Tamar, there is one massive difference - diabetes doesn't have a  STIGMA." On reflection I realised that in most cases: The diabetic will tell their employer of their diabetes when they are employed the employee with a mental illness will not. The diabetic will tell people at work when they are starting to feel unwell the employee with a mental illness will not.  The colleagues of a person with diabetes will be informed as to how to look after them as a unique individual in an emergency  employee with mental illness will not have told anyone anything. These are generalisations and stereotypes, which I typically shy way from, yet based on the evidence I heard yesterday at the event, the stigma of mental illness at work is more prevalent that we realise. My challenge for you all is to think about what practical steps you can take today to reduce the stigma of mental illness in the workplace. Here are a few ideas to get you started  In an emergency situation when you need to refer someone to the EAP or a crisis service, ask them if they would like you to be with them when they seek help, in the same way that treat them the way you would had they  broken their leg at work. When someone tells you they have a mental illness listen with empathy and curiosity and ask them how and what they want to share with colleagues.  Check in with any staff on parental leave or who is a parent of very young children - don’t assume someone else is looking out for post natal depression Rob Stevenson has established a social enterprise Inside Out    with in the UK a mission of ending the stigma of mental ill-health in the workplace by creating a ripple effect of senior leaders who are willing to speak out about their own lived experience.  "Each year, we publish a list of senior leaders from our workplaces who are open about their experience of mental ill-health. The list is designed to celebrate each leader who has decided to be open, thus playing their part in ending the stigma and helping others in their organisation speak out and seek help. We will grow the list each year, creating a ripple effect of more and more executives speaking out until it is as normal to talk about mental ill-health in the business world as it is to disclose a broken leg." https://inside-out.org/leaderboard/ Please   email me your individual, workplace and/or industry level initiatives to reduce the STIGMA associated with mental illness. Australian resources: COPE : post natal depression.   https://www.cope.org.au/new-parents/postnatal-mental-health-conditions/ Mental health crisis team- 1800 011 511 (24 hours) Doctor Life line – 13 11 14 (24 hours) Employee Assistance ProgramClinical psychologist 000 RU OK

“How do we preserve the ability to be creative people in a world where we are overwhelmed by project management, communication and email?" Matt Jones Click on the picture and watch my 50 second vlog to find out. Please Email me with your creativity challenge. For those who need some evidence to inspire them to become creative take a look at the references below. Thank you to my colleague for sharing her research into the benefits of creativity. ------------------------- References: https://psychcentral.com/news/2014/04/18/creative-leisure-can-enhance-work-performance/68673.html https://www.ey.com/en_au/podcasts/lets-talk-marketing/lets-talk-marketing-episode-twenty-three https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2017/jul/19/arts-can-help-recovery-from-illness-and-keep-people-well-report-says https://www.theguardian.com/careers/2018/jul/26/a-path-to-wellbeing-the-growing-world-of-gardening-therapy https://hyperallergic.com/529124/benefits-of-art-for-people-with-dementia/ https://www.psypost.org/2016/06/skill-level-making-art-reduces-stress-hormone-cortisol-43362 Exploring the link between Leisure-Time Creativity and Motives for Workplace Creativity: A review Trina Charnock*, BPsychHons Student, Australian College of Applied Psychology Staci Vicary, Lecturer, Psychological Sciences, Australian College of Applied Psychology *corresponding author https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ODLdYz-Z-hFSB8qfsB0OgN19tZ86IzkG/view

Click on the link, watch my vlog, and learn how my client successfully managed change and avoided "Consultold".

"Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen Pour myself a cup of ambition Yawn and stretch and try to come to life"  Dolly Parton Click here for the full music video "working 9-5" https://youtu.be/UbxUSsFXYo4 Two clients in the past week have told me of times during their career where they needed to take an extended break from work due to extreme exhaustion. My client yesterday is a driven and successful businesswoman, managing a complex business with competing stakeholders in a large multinational organisation. She expressed her gratitude to her employer for holding her job while she took  a “sabbatical”. Personally I do not believe a 'sabbatical' refers to a time when you take a year off off work as your wellbeing is significantly compromised.In addition, she is conflicted as she  would like to see her father  every evening, as he is unwell, yet she typically leaves work at about 10pm.  Surprisingly,  neither client used the word "burnout" to describe their exhaustion. “Burnout is a distinct syndrome of exhaustion, depersonalisation and discouragement with a low sense of accomplishment or effectiveness,” Michael Leiter Who is most susceptible to burnout? According to recent research, people in extreme jobs are most susceptible to burn out. If someone works 60 or more hours-a-week, are high earners, and hold a position with five or more of the following characteristics, then they have an extreme job and are at  risk of burnout: - unpredictable workflow; - tight deadlines and fast working pace; - inordinate scope of responsibility; - after-hours work events; - availability to clients 24/7; - responsibility for profit and loss; - responsibility for mentoring and recruiting; - frequent travel, often international; - large number of direct reports; and - physical presence at work, at least ten hours a day. In my opinion as we have seen long hours, unpredictable work patterns, tight deadlines with fast pace, broad responsibility, "24/7 availability",  become common workplace practices,   “extreme” jobs, are on the rise, and exist at many levels in most industries.  What attracts people to these extreme jobs? adrenaline rush, great colleagues, high pay, recognition, status, and power. What I find frightening is that there is a culture in these jobs to be motivated by this mode of working. Remember, no matter what job you do, if you are pushed beyond your ability to cope  for long periods of time, you're likely to suffer burnout. What are some side effects of burnout? On a personal level your physical health and  psychological wellbeing are compromised. Chances are you are not aligning your work-life balance or personal/family life to your values. Professionally , there is an increase the incidence of errors, both technical and interpersonal. Financially , you pay more for convenience because of exhaustion, (Uber, take ways etc..) “splurging” becomes a coping mechanism, a type of reward for the long hours, sometimes on a level that does not meet your personal budget. What can be done to reduce the chances of burnout? On an industry level, it may be relevant to change the cultural norms associated with "extreme jobs". I know this seems unrealistic but based on some of the presentations at the safety and wellbeing conference I attended recently this is starting to happen in both construction and legal sector.  On an Organisational level: Ensure jobs are designed properly and allocated to the right person.Sensible allocation of work, according to capacity, skill, and career aspirations.  Job demands are realistic and employees have the resources, including physical and emotional to meet them.Reward and recognition is not just linked to billable hours, or physical hours worked, but a more balanced score card approach is taken.Anyone in a leadership position, needs to reinforce the message that long working hours does not necessarily lead to better job performance.  Responding to emergencies at work is fine, but when  "emergencies" become chronic or the norm, then its time to pause and identify what strategic changes that need to be made. Individual level Regular readers would be aware that the best way to minimise the chances of burnout is to look after your Wellbeing comprehensively. Beyond the recent themes of my blogs , remember that a realistic optimistic thinking style and lateral problem solving capacity is extremely helpful in tricky situations.  Keeping an open line of communication with colleagues, family and friends about how you’re feeling and reaching out for support, whether it’s from friends and family, colleagues, or a health professional is essential when things start to go awry. Yesterday afternoon I was listening to a thought-provoking interview on the Eat Sleep Work Repeat podcast and heard about a great wellbeing hack. Laura Archer, was working in her dream job but felt she never had time to "get things done". So she made a list of all the different things she could do in a 30 minute lunch break. Not surprisingly she documented this experience in a blog and a book.  Personally, what I found interestingly was the positive the impact this shift had on her general wellbeing, and her enjoyment of and energy at work. By spending one lunchtime a week in activities like playing chess,  reading a novel, attending a music concert,  learning a language, and knitting, she realised didn’t need to be leading her life as though she was waiting to retire or to for her next  holiday. ‘You go on holiday to sit by the pool you don’t go on holiday and become an artist...”  Laura Archer Whilst holidays are marvellous, and I applaud organisations that push employees to use up their annual leave - even if it’s for financial reasons. Holidays are short well-earned breaks to be in different places with friends family etc.. and should not be a replacement for major shifts in behaviour.  So what about my client? Her goal for coaching is to ensure that in the process of achieving her very challenging strategic goals, the wellbeing of herself and her team is not compromised. To be successful she is motivated to make necessary changes at an organisational, team and individual level. If you want to watch the 1980's classic movie 9 to 5 about three female secretaries who decide to get revenge on their horrible boss you can rent it on youtube .  __________ References: https://au.reachout.com/articles/burnout-and-chronic-stress https://eatsleepworkrepeat.com/honey-i-hacked-my-job/ https://www.citynews1130.com/2019/09/24/millennial-money-sneaky-ways-burnout-hurts-your-bottom-line/ Are healthcare middle management jobs extreme jobs? Buchanan, David A ;  Parry, Emma ;  Gascoigne, Charlotte ;  Moore, Cíara . Journal of Health Organization and Management ; Bradford  Vol. 27, Iss. 5,   (2013):  Hewlett, S.A. and Luce, C.B. (2006), "Extreme jobs: the dangerous allure of the 70-hour workweek", Harvard Business Review, Vol. 84 No. 12, pp. 49-59. Caluori, A. (2019) Under pressure. Occupational Health & Wellbeing ; 71, 1    12-14. Recognising and combating burnout at work, Professor Michael Leiter Professor of Industrial Organisational Psychology, School of Psychology, Deakin University https://this.deakin.edu.au/career/recognising-and-combatting-burnout-at-work Musker M (2019) Workplace burnout is all too common. Here's how to tell if you're affected. The Conversation    4 Jun 2019, 3:01pm https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-06-04/workplace-stress-burnout-symptoms-and-signs-diagnosis/11174404 Rosenbloom, Tova ;  Eldror, Ehud . (Jun 2017) Perfectionism as a Moderator of the Association of Work Connectivity Behavior After-hours (WCBA) and Burnout. North American Journal of Psychology ; Winter Garden  Vol. 19, Iss. 2,  Scanlan, J.N. & Still M. (2019) Relationships between burnout, turnover intention, job satisfaction, job demands and job resources for mental health personnel in an Australian mental health service. BMC Health Services Research 19 , 62  https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C5CHFA_enAU860AU860&ei=ZcSLXYbmD4f69QOjrJ2ICA&q=9+to+five+lyrics&oq=9+to+five+&gs_l=psy-ab.1.0.0i67l3j0l7.71816.71816..72829...0.2..0.173.173.0j1....1..0....1..gws-wiz.......0i71.NBvMmG17U90

One in four Australians were born overseas 46 per cent have at least one parent who was born overseas  Nearly 20 per cent of Australians speak a language other than English at home https://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4102.0Main+Features30April+2013 The year was 1994 and I was in my first job as a psychologist in a Government Department in a neighbourhood in Sydney where 100 languages are spoken.  Due to the sensitive nature of our jobs it was decided that we needed to have an employee from almost all of the local nationalities so that the cultural nuances of our clients could be appropriately understood. Despite the diverse mix of employees, in terms of age, experience, gender, nationality, religion, professional expertise and personality, it was the most supportive environment I have ever worked in. What exactly made this work environment so inclusive? A supportive wise  and calm leader Strong commitment to the purpose of the organisation Robust debate when solving complex cleint problems Clear line of sight between everyone's work and impact on clients Strict adherence to physical safety rules Non-judgemental curiosity Genuine interest in the cultures and beliefs of others Why was inclusion critical? The nature of the work was stressful, emotionally confronting and there were legal and safety ramifications if we made incorrect decisions. We needed to respect each other’s opinions and perspectives, debate issues and ensure that when we made decisions they were in the best interests of our clients. In addition when the stakeholders complained (which they did often) we needed to support each other completely. Politics, biases, and stereotypes, would have had dangerous ramifications for clients, stakeholders, not to mention the  psychological health and safety of the employees. So how can YOU quickly increase your understanding of the individual differences in your workplace? Perhaps this is best answered by way of example:   I had a a client who was the leader and subject matter expert in a in a highly stressful National  organisation. He was referred to coaching as his team had rated him negatively on a recent survey. He explained to me that his biggest problem was the allocation of projects to his diverse workforce. He  said to me “No matter how I divide up the work, nothing gets done well and no one is ever happy. They spend their time bickering like young children instead of debating, challenging and solving problems”. As the coaching continued it was apparent that his natural tendency was make assumptions in order to logically and quickly solve problems. To enable him to listen to his team without judgement and encourage open conversation, amongst other things, I taught him about unconditional positive regard. Unconditional positive regard involves having the mindset that everyone wants to improve in their lives.  Genuine curiosity will convey to others that when you ask open questions you are seeking understand not judge the other persons behaviour. Celeste Headlee’s ted talk provided him with  an excellent explanation of this mindset. After some practice, and feedback at work, my client reflected that listening with curiosity was easier said than done. However, he found that when he restrained his natural tendency to interrupt the silence, and make statements, he began to ask open questions. The information he gleaned from the more detailed conversations with his employees was invaluable. The shift in his leadership style lead to an increase in productivity, collaboration and morale, and over time, staff turnover was significantly reduced. My lecturer on individual differences was fond of reminding students that short term memory can hold about seven concepts and therefore it is easier to fit someone into a stereotype than to make the effort to concentrate and remember all the wonderful facets of each person we meet and work with.   One  advantage  of a stereotype is that it enables us to respond rapidly to situations because we may have had a similar experience before. One  disadvantage  is that it makes us ignore differences between individuals; therefore we think things about people that might not be true (i.e. make generalizations). Saul McLeod Lunch times in my first job were marvellous, we would all sit together and chat about our heritage, values and work. People took the time to understand an d question each others cultural, religious, professional backgrounds and personalities. We could share both the diversity within the team and within our cultures, thus smashing stereotypes and enabling us to freely bring all relevant perspectives into our  client work. The  privilege of working in this diverse and inclusive workplace enabled me to learn many invaluable lessons relating to work, life and wellbeing from all my colleagues. In my opinion, diversity when cultivated  is an integral part of beauty of the interconnected and forever changing world we live in.  Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.      unknown References: Klonek, Florian & Kauffeld, Simone. (2015). Providing engineers with OARS and EARS: Effects of a skills-based vocational training in Motivational Interviewing for engineers in higher education. Higher Education, Skills and Work-Based Learning . 5. 117–134. https://www.simplypsychology.org/katz-braly.html Stereotypes By  Saul McLeod , updated 2015 Unconditional Positive Regard If you think it's about smiling and nodding you are doing it wrong Posted Oct 07, 2012 Stephen Joseph Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/what-doesnt-kill-us/201210/unconditional-positive-regard  Paul Wilkins (2000) Unconditional positive regard reconsidered, British Journal of Guidance & Counselling, 28:1, 23-36, http://www.wiseoldsayings.com/diversity-quotes/page-2/ Episode 12 of the  Australian Social Trends Podcast  series, Australian Bureau of Statistics   https://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4102.0Main+Features30April+2013 Short Term Memory, By  Saul McLeod , published 2009  https://www.simplypsychology.org/short-term-memory.html

One in five Australians aged 16-85 experience a mental illness in any year.  https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/docs/default-source/factsheets/facts_figures.pdf?sfvrsn=8 The 12th September in Australia is R U OK Day, the day we are meant to pause think about mental health and check in with our colleagues, friends and family. Caring about others is certainly not a once a year event, and discussing mental health is certainly not a once a year event. If you stop and  think about it why on earth would anyone they tell you really how they are feeling: If you don’t often chat to your peers employees or colleagues about what is going on in their livesIf there aren’t clear policies and procedures in your organisation around mental health. If you view mental health as always being negative. If people with mental illness are shifted into the shadows and not spoken of.If there are no examples of managing mental health in the workplace.  If people don’t understand that one can flourish with mental illness and can languish without a diagnosed mental illness. If there are no proactive measures to create and maintain a psychologically safe and healthy workplace. If physical safety is compromised.  If there is no culture of comprehensive wellbeing.  R U OK Day is an annual reminder that EVERY day we need to be thinking about creating environments in life and work where people can flourish . Keyes framework provides a comprehensive understanding of the complexity of the interaction between wellbeing and mental health. Contrary to popular opinion he explains that:  a person can be languishing without being mentally ill and a person can have a diagnosed mental illness and be flourishing. What is languishing?  When a person is languishing, they have low levels of subjective wellbeing, they are not feeling good or functioning at their best. They may appear to live life as if they are just be 'going through the motions' .  What is flourishing?  According to Martin Seligman, a person is flourishing when they have a good life: "What is the good life? It is pleasant, engaged, meaningful, achieving, and connected". How can people with a diagnosed mental illness flourish? I have many friends and clients with diagnosed physical and psychological illnesses ranging from PTSD, Diabetes, Depression, and stroke. They all have university degrees and hold senior roles in national organisations. Many are married with children, and one has written a book in a foreign language in their spare time. They all enjoy life to the full, exercising, going on family holidays etc.. All have  real, and frequent symptoms. Many with mental illness require daily vigilance over their wellbeing, in the same way the diabetic regularly monitors their  insulin and food intake. However what is consistently low for all of them is the impact of their "illnesses" on their lives both inside and outside of work. One joked with me that she missed more time off work when she sprained their ankle at gym than from her intense PTSD flashbacks.  My most concerning conversation was with the client who never told his employer he had had a heart attack at work. It occurred during a lunch break, he was afraid of the stigma and thus he simply messaged that he was unwell and would be back at work soon.  What are the signs that someone is unwell?  Quite simply when you notice a change in what someone is saying doing or how they are living their life its appropriate to catch up and see how they are.  What are your daily responsibilities?  1. Creating environments in life and work where people can flourish.  2. Notice a change in someone's behaviour and encouraging them to get help. Australian sources of help Life line – 13 11 14 (24 hours) Mental health crisis team- 1800 011 511 (24 hours) Doctor Employee Assistance Program Clinical psychologist 000 RU OK What can you do today? Educate others that it is possible to flourish with mental illness and languish without mental illness Get to know people so that you actually notice a change in their behaviour. Talk openly about mental illness and life and workKnow where to go for more information and support Prepare for the conversation. Thank you to my inspirational friends and clients who have shared with me the impact (or lack thereof) of their physical and mental health on their life and work. ----------------------------------- References: Keyes, C.L.M (2005) Mental Illness and or Mental Health? Investigating axioms of the complete state model of health Journal of  Consulting and Clinical  Psychology.  ;73(3):539-48 Martin E.P. Seligman, April 2011  Happiness Is Not Enough  Flourish: A New Theory of Positive Psychology (Archived Newsletter) https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletters/flourishnewsletters/newtheory Westerhof, G, J, Keyes C.L.M (2010) Mental Illness and Mental Health: The Two Continua Model Across the Lifespan. Journal Of Adult Development 17(2): 110–119 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2866965/ https://www.ruok.org.au/ c

For the last few days I’ve been thinking about values clashing in the workplace and  have been uncertain how to write this blog. Fortunately, an interesting headline  appeared in my inbox and it reminded me that in every job and profession there are potential clashes of  values: Can a lawyer defend a client they think is guilty? Does the primary responder paramedic treat the victim or perpetrators first in a violent attack? Do the ‘Chinese walls’ or information barriers inside organisations really work?  Is ‘cross selling’ good business or manipulative? Can a mortgage broker  or financial planner be truly objective if they don’t have an independent licences? All professionals have codes of ethics, policies and procedures, modes of practice and in Australia we have regulators that sit above/ alongside the codes of ethics. The complexity of life, work, our values and their impact on our behaviour goes way beyond what can always be articulated in a document. Let’s take my client who places a high value on financial security, he prefers to avoid risk and uncertainty, wants assurances about what the future will bring. In addition, he places a high value on earning money and finding business opportunities. He currently works for a private equity fund that invests in start-ups’, there are times when these value conflicts make him feel particularly uncomfortable and he is at risk of behaving in a manner that is misaligned with his belief that people should be treated with respect.   What happens in the world of coaching? Perhaps because I am an Organisational Psychologist I am occasionally referred clients when there is conflict and incivility in the workplace. My role is never to determine the accuracy of the allegations, or to define the organisational policies and procedures. But rather when deemed appropriate to provide coaching to one or other of the involved parties, never both. So what is the conundrum for me? There are the values that guide my coaching that in this context seem to be at odds: Work should be enjoyable, energising and interactions should be polite and respectful, even when there is workplace debate or disagreement. Lack of self-awareness, emotional intelligence and the dark side of our personality can cause inappropriate behaviour in the workplace.   Evidence based practice informs my approach to working with clients. Or to put it in another way if I coach the alleged perpetrators or recipients of inappropriate behaviour am I condoning inappropriate behaviour or taking sides? So how do I resolve this? For me the third value, “ evidence-based practice ” actually encompasses the preceding two values and thereby negates the contradiction. Thus, when coaching the recipients of alleged incivility, I will draw on years of research into human behaviour in the workplace that has demonstrated that there are many organisational and individual factors that impact behaviour and will help my client identify what is actually within their control. For example: Increasingly internal stakeholder communications around deliverables and time lines Focusing on the positive feedback provided by internal stakeholdersImproving recruitment processes to ensure better fit between people and jobs Reviewing the remuneration structure to ensure jobs are documented and sized properlyLine of sight between work and the “customer” The purpose and importance of the work and of work Emotional intelligence Our reaction to the support and feedback from colleagues encouraging culture of internal collaboration Managing allocation of time during the work day to ensure strategic work could be completed regularly Self-awareness of our values, personalities and derailers Tolerance for inappropriate behaviour in terms of duration, and content Career goals and aspirationsIndividual differences in perception of and responses to conflict Our perception of what we can and what we cannot control/ influenceHow we manage our personal wellbeing Guarding minds at work 13 elements of a psychologically safe and healthy workplace. Where does wellbeing fit in and why is it so crucial in these stations? Stress and discomfort can arise when we perceive that we are forced to make decisions quickly in a situation when our values clash or there is incivility or life just gets messy. When we are stressed we feel almost like we have gone on autopilot, as our amygdala hijacks our responses. Wellbeing enables us to pause our fight, flight or freeze reactions. By pausing we let the rational side of our brain take over.   When we insert this pause we enable our brains to make informed decisions ie: clearly identify the areas of choice and control identify options available  evaluate options according to our ethics, training, regulations, experience and most importantly our key values  Making decisions rationally helps to ensure that we behave in a manner that is in accordance with what matters to us. Finally, knowing what our values are and being able to behave in life and at work in a manner that is aligned with your values, not only enhances your general wellbeing but makes it much easier to sleep at night. Thank you to my colleagues, Loren, Michelle and Genevieve for their input in writing this blog and to the clients whom I have had the privilege  of working with.  ----------------------------------- References: Please contact me for references.

Photo by Indian Yogi (Yogi Madhav) on Unsplash "The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." Jim Goodwin (Irish football player) Last week, I was working with a group of senior executives who were preparing to deliver challenging messages relating to dramatic organisational change to their staff. All were mindful that no matter how much preparation they had undertaken, on the day it would be stressful, and their role was to be informative, empathetic and supportive. In addition, in amongst the staffing announcements they all had critical and exciting meetings with internal and external stakeholders. As I began to explain the concept of The Third Space to the clients, they asked me to compile a list of relaxation techniques that they could use on the fly. For those who are unfamiliar this is the Third Space Model: The First Space is the moment after a meeting/ event ends. Use this time to reflect on what you have just accomplished and make a note of key learnings and next steps. The Second Space is the pause, the reset, the clearing the head. This blog will focus on some techniques to achieve this pause. The Third Space is the preparation for where you will going next. ie who are you meeting, why are you meeting them, what do you want to achieve, what do you need to know. Readers would be aware that stress reduction is complicated and there is no ‘silver bullet’ to provide "Instant Calm". In addition, improving one’s well-being to be better prepared and able to bounce forward from life’s challenges is extremely complex and not the subject of this blog. Never the less there are times in our daily lives where is its extremely beneficial to have a quick relax and thus I have prepared some hacks for you. I apologise that this is a longer blog than usual, however I hope that there is something in here for everyone. Thank you to all my professional colleagues and coaching clients, for directly and indirectly providing the inspiration for the ideas in this blog. Creating the best environment for relaxation: If you can access some of the following when you are doing your third space relaxation it will increase the effectiveness: Fresh Air Comfort Lack of stimulation Direct sunlight Motivation (yes you have to care) No interruptions To keep to time, put your phone on aeroplane mode, headphones in your ears and set an alarm or timer on your phone. Short relaxation techniques: To be consistent with my research on the many ways that people relax, I have attempted to categorise the hacks. Breathing: Remember the breathing techniques are aimed at slowing down your breathing, maximising the amount of oxygen entering all of your lungs and the carbon dioxide leaving your lungs. It is advantageous to slowly count as you inhale, and slowly count as you exhale. Place your hands on your hips, with your fingers on your abdomen in line with your navel and slowly take a deep breath in. Feel your abdomen expand and your shoulders stay still. Repeat. Lie on the floor on your back, breath in through your nose and feel your tummy rise out through your mouth as your tummy falls Try with each breath to increase the count Try the reach out breathe app https://au.reachout.com/tools-and-apps/reachout-breathe Body: Hot towel - take a little towel immerse it in warm water wring it out and then simply drape it over your face and sit back with your eyes closed. Nourishment: If chosen wisely, food and drinks can help maintain focus and concentration between meals and meetings. Some simple examples include: A slow sip of water A very hot cup of herbal tea or milk- the wonderful thing about hot drinks is that they need to be drunk slowly. A small healthy energising snack, like a fresh or dried fruit, or handful of nuts. Physical: Stand up straight and start to walk slowly and purposefully. Be aware of how you are walking, focusing on achieving a correct heel toe walking technique. The following can be done in a sitting or standing position Take a moment to notice your posture and correct it. ie your feet are firmly and evenly placed on the floor, your spine is straight your shoulders are back, your head is in line with your spine and you are looking straight ahead. Take a few slow breaths and hold the posture for a short while Place both feet firmly on the floor, hold your body straight and then slowly raise your hands above your head being mindful to keep your shoulders down. Gradually lower your arms and then repeat. Adapt a small strengthening exercise from your regular regime, like tightening your core and practice it. Rotate your left shoulder, up, forward, down and back then repeat the rotation on the right side, the repeat with both shoulders together. Repeat the whole sequence in the reverse direction. Let your head fall slowly until your chin reaches your chest, then gradually return to upright position. Slowly tilt your head to left shoulder, then return it to an upright position, repeat on the right side. Then gently rotate your head in a circle clockwise then in an anticlockwise direction. Ensure your shoulders remain relaxed during this exercise. Slowly count to 10 as you bend over as if you are going to touch your toes (you may wish to have your back to a wall for privacy). Then once again slowly count to 10 as your uncurl your spine one vertebrae at a time till you are standing up straight. Plant your feet firmly on the ground and reach your arms up high to complete the stretch. Repeat. Lie on the floor and place your calves and feet on your chair and breathe slowly. Take off your shoes and place a tennis ball under the sole of your foot. Using slight pressure roll the ball so it moves from the front to the back of your foot repeat a few times then switch feet. Stand with your back against a wall- feel head shoulders and buttocks touching wall, breathe deeply and slowly raise your arms to shoulder height as you breath in. Slowly lower them as you breathe out. Repeat. Imagery Look at an image that is in front of you (for example a picture on the wall, or the view out the window) and convert it to your relaxing image. In your mind’s eye add the elements that make it relaxing, imagine you have stepped into the space and add the sensations from all your senses (sound, touch and taste) Save a photo on your phone, or in your pocket of a relaxing place the one that you associate with complete calm and take a moment to just look at it. Look at nature, either literally or from a pre-prepared series of images on your phone or computer. Mentally stilling the mind: Pay attention to your surroundings: the three things activity: Name 3 things you can see, 3 you can hear, 3 you can feel. Then 2 you can see, 2 you can hear, 2 you can see. Then 1 thing you can see, 1 you can hear, 1 you can feel. As you walk from one meeting or place to another literally count each time you place your foot on the ground and the number of steps you are taking. Count backwards from 1000 by a random odd number like 73. Do a crossword or sudoku puzzle Listen to your own calm playlist with songs that slow down your heart beat and invoke a feeling of relaxation. Listen to an audio recording of a sound that brings your joy, like your friend laughing, a cow mooing or a bird chirping. Go outside and walk around the block noticing the building numbers that you pass. Plan what you can do for someone else. Meditate Meditate with an app Read a few pages of your novel research the best app to minimise work distractions https://zapier.com/blog/stay-focused-avoid-distractions/ Mindfulness: If you have already mastered mindfulness practice it then think about how you can combine it with some of the strategies above or use it on its own. Perhaps mindfully breathing, eating something, or observing something tangible in your environment. Scents: Smells have a powerful relaxing associations for some people and energising or allergic connotations for others. So be mindful that what you use should be not too pungent. Smell a sachet of your favourite scent Use a scented hand cream Eat a fruit with nice scent. Relationships: Invest in your relationships beyond work: Message a friend or family member Call a friend or family member Make a time to meet a friend or relative. Leisure: Research a leisure pursuit or an aspect of your leisure pursuit Block out time in your diary for your leisure activity. Rest: Close your eyes and have a little nap. Please remember this list is not exhaustive and these techniques will compliment NOT replace a comprehensive approach to wellbeing. I have also placed a PDF version of these techniques on the resources section of my webpage. ----------------------------------- Please contact me for references and further reading: #TheThirdSpace #Relaxation #Hacks

I am working with a passionate and driven CEO of a new business who is gearing up for a capital raising for in the new year. She has a strong values base to her company and is deeply devoted to her ‘calling’. She works long hours her staff fears she may burn out. However her health and well-being has never been better, her company is making a profit and growing as she projected. My role as her executive coach is certainly not to determine her financial targets or disrupt her effective business development strategy. Rather my perspective shall challenge her broader individual and organisational goals and work towards ensuring that her leadership style enables success. The conundrum she faces is that while her drive and passion fuels her, it should not consume her, nor should it inhibit the aspirations and motivation of her employees. This delicate balance will only increase as her company grows and she is acutely aware of small shifts she needs to make in her management style and personal health. Many CEOs small business owners, committed doctors and passionate workers and volunteers share this challenge. This morning I am writing this blog on my phone as I sit at Bondi beach having had my first swim of the season. Diving into the clear refreshing ocean inserted a lovely pause into my busy week and made me reflect on when we can all randomly throw our routine out the window and do something invigorating. For my client a swim in the sea is not practical, she’s Melbourne based anyway. So for her and for the majority of us on a regular basis the principals of the Third space are more accessible. (Thank you to Dr Sarah Cotton and Justine Alter for exposing me to this model) The First Space is the moment after a meeting/ event ends. Use this time to reflect on what you have just accomplished and make a note of what you need to do next The Second Space is the pause, the reset, the clearing the head, there are a multitude of techniques to achieve this pause. Head to my resources page for ideas. The Third Space is the preparation for where you will going next: think about who are you meeting, purpose of the meeting what do you want to achieve, what do you need to know. My colleague Margie Hartley in her weekly blog recommended 45 minute meetings, thus creating regular slots of 15 minutes to insert the techniques described above. So as you look at the photo I took this morning, pause and think about what you are going to do every now and again to shake up your routine. Please as always contact me if you want to discuss executive coaching for yourself or one of your employees, or perhaps you want to come join me down at Bondi for a swim. References: Please contact me if you want references/further information on the ideas presented above.

Do you want to be a successful leader in the era of disruption? Remember it is talent not technology that will give your organisation the competitive advantage. “When someone acquires power, it’s not that they adapt and change—it actually reveals who they really are. There are very few boundaries that you can’t just step over, so all you have is your own moral compass. That can be very liberating, but that can also be very dangerous.” Platon (2019) This week I attended a fascinating seminar with Bernard Salt entitled Future of Work. It was apparent during the seminar that it is talent not just technology that will give your organisation the competitive edge in the future. Successful entrepreneurs according to Bernard Salt will be the future of our economy. Not only does the new entrepreneur need to merge business and technology and disrupt the market, they need the perfect innovative idea, to be quick to market, to continually disrupt, be ahead of the competition and be financially successful. History has demonstrated that the most successful entrepreneurs are extraordinary leaders, everyone wants to work for them, and be a part of their vision and success. Yet the old models of leadership do not fit the age of disruption… new leadership meta skills are required. The world of work is changing: Flat structures are in, design thinking is encouraged, safe to fail ‘experiments’ are the norm. Employee diversity encompasses professional expertise, problem-solving approaches, culture, age and gender. Organisational loyalty and trust are determined by purpose, governance and ethics, not years of service. There is much ambiguity, complexity, uncertainty and volatility, in all aspects of work. The complexity of the leadership challenge has never been greater, inspiring employees to be creative, motivated and commercial in an ever-changing environment requires a new approach to leadership. Remember if you’re really serious about being a successful entrepreneur remember your most important resource is your people. The future of work will require leaders to be adept at combining interpersonal, technical and strategic skills. According to Dr Tasha Eurich, self-awareness is the meta skill of the 21st century, as it encompasses how our values, behaviour, emotions, and habits impact on others and on how others see us. She argues that self-awareness is the foundation of all interpersonal skills. In my opinion, improving self-awareness, and related interpersonal skills will enhance a leaders' ability to: Create a culture of creativity and innovation Influence and negotiate with diverse stakeholders Ensure values, ethics and purpose are at the forefront of all commercial decisions Encourage robust debate and avoid group think Employ the principles of Radical Candour to enable respectful, yet useful and timely feedback Attract and retain high performing talent Thrive under pressure Enable continual learning Most importantly, self-awareness should enable leaders to be energised by the challenges of their work. Last week I finished a coaching assignment with a senior executive in the tourism sector, his organisation is undergoing much change and due to a restructure, he has lost his “seat” at the executive table. Part of the coaching involved a re-exploration of his career and organisational goals, with a focus on his values, and optimism how they played out in his leadership behaviour in the workplace. At the conclusion of the coaching program I asked him to provide me with feedback on the coaching experience. “I thought the coaching would be all about emotional support but in contrast I am excited by the opportunities I can see in the firm as we continue to grow.. I may not have a seat on the executive, but I can be the CEO of a large business unit that my team creates” . Despite the pressures and changes in the firm, his team are on track to exceed their financial goals for Q1 2019. I look forward to catching up with him in 6 months to see how else he and his team have benefited from his increased internal and external self-awareness. Consider what practical steps you can take to begin to improve your self awareness. References: https://heleo.com/conversation-how-one-word-from-stephen-hawking-changed-a-photographers-life/19881/ Eurich, Dr T. (2017) Insight: The Power of Self-Awareness in a Self-Deluded World. Bernard Salt and Simon Kuestenmacher (2019) The future of work, breakfast seminar. The Demographics group. #leadership #selfawareness #future #power