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"Quiet please, there's a lady on stage She may not be the latest rage But she's singing and she means it And she deserves a little silence Quiet please, there's a woman up there And she's been honest through her songs Long before your consciousnes s was raised Now doesn't that deserve a little praise" Quiet Please, There's A Lady On Stage by Peter Allen (Click here for the song) Designed by Freepik   www.freepik.com   “I had a crazy week. Our CFO gave a two-minute update in the exec meeting, but no one had any idea what he was talking about. There was no context. And then Bill just started talking, it was ridiculous, he had nothing of value to add and then no one could ask any questions.”    Coaching client Regular readers know that, irrespective of whether the formal structure is between a manager and a subordinate, between two subordinates, or some other permutation, collaboration is key to success in organisations. This logically requires excellent communication skills, which are severely lacking in many organisations.   Where Workplace Conversation Breaks Down Compulsive talkers Some individuals chronically overtalk. They dominate conversations, ignore cues, repeat stories, and show little awareness of their impact. This “talkaholism” frustrates colleagues, slows progress, and often leads to social avoidance. Researchers have found that some highly talkative individuals are compulsive talkers who struggle with effective communication. They speak far more than others want to hear, often say little of substance, and are unaware of how their behaviour affects those around them. They tend to talk at people rather than with them. This pattern has been described as “talkaholism” , similar to terms like workaholic or chocoholic . Although others usually recognise the behaviour as problematic, “talkaholics” themselves rarely do. Chat GPT generated. Unproductive talkers Others contribute in ways that derail rather than advance discussion, such as irrelevant comments, personal attacks, or speaking only to allies who cannot act. These behaviours consume time, reduce candour, and disrupt focus. The impact is predictable: irritation, delays, and reduced productivity. Teams often work more efficiently when the overtalker is absent. However, remote work adds complexity, and under communication is often penalised more than over communication, because frequent updates signal engagement. Silence    Researchers have found that although silence can occasionally be constructive, for example, giving others space to learn, it is usually harmful. It undermines decision quality, creativity, and ethical behaviour, and deprives organisations of vital information. To better understand the complexity of silence, researchers have categorised it into:  Acquiescent silence :  resignation (“my input won’t matter”).  Defensive silence : self-protection (“speaking up is risky”) Researchers have identified the following reasons why people may withhold information Anxiety or fear of consequences Low psychological safety, especially across power, race, or gender lines Concern about appearing incompetent Belief that speaking up won’t matter Desire to avoid conflict or protect others Talking too little Communication problems also arise when people speak  too little  within a message. Ambiguous responses are common when the truth would be uncomfortable or when information is incomplete, such as early in a crisis. Regular readers know that this is exactly when communication is vital. However, ambiguity can make people appear less warm, less likable, and more cautious, and it shifts the cognitive burden to the listeners. Input bias: a troublesome phenomenon in conversations Researchers have found that people confuse time spent with value created. This leads employees to over‑signal effort, long hours, excessive updates, even when the extra input adds no real value. People confuse time spent with value created. Researchers have found that people automatically link the amount of input with the quality of the output, even when they recognise that the extra input is irrelevant or even problematic.  This strange phenomenon leads to all sorts of bizarre behaviour, including employees spending long hours in the office and sending lots of updates via email, all to create the perception of high productivity. In addition, researchers found that when a boss is told that an employee took more time to produce a document, they rated it more favourably. This occurred even in a context where time efficiency was critical. What’s really happening in workplace conversations? Research suggests that, unfortunately, many workplace interactions lean toward the less productive end of the communication spectrum, particularly: Withholding , holding back ideas, concerns, or feedback and Disrupting, interrupting, dominating, or derailing discussion. To improve collaboration and psychological safety, leaders need to encourage  Productive communication, namely: Contributing , adding relevant ideas, insight, and value and Processing , active, thoughtful listening that builds understanding. “ Anyone who has worked in a company with more than one employee has experienced the frustration and prevalence of problematic conversations, especially in formal meetings.” Edmonson and Besieux What can leaders do? To improve communication in teams, researchers have found that productive engagement, contributing and processing should be strengthened, and counterproductive behaviours like withholding or disrupting should be minimised. To make these changes normal habits or ways of interacting, they need to be reinforced and practised by leaders in all communication settings. To strengthen a culture where people feel able to speak up at work, researchers have found that leaders benefit from adopting a stance of humility and curiosity, particularly in the context of change. Humility can be demonstrated through openly acknowledging the need for others’ perspectives, while curiosity is expressed through thoughtful questions that draw people into deeper thinking. Together, these behaviours signal that contributions are genuinely wanted, lowering the interpersonal risk of speaking and making it more likely that employees will voice ideas, concerns, and insights. Intentional silence and pauses Researchers have found that people need time to process what’s being said and to adopt another’s perspective instead of rushing to assert opinions or interrupt. Processing is active listening aimed at understanding while remaining mentally engaged in silence; a small cognitive distance can help work through implications. This productive silence prevents people from talking past one another and enables conversations to move forward, sometimes in unexpectedly valuable directions. Teams that develop these conversational skills are better able to give full attention and assume others are likewise engaged. Reduce disruption In addition, leaders have the responsibility to reduce disruption. Disruption manifests in many ways in the workplace and includes thoughtless utterances, where the speaker could have, but did not, consider the impact on others of what they were saying, and how they were saying it. What about listening? A recent literature review found that poor listening does more than reduce employees’ willingness to speak up about critical issues. It can also contribute to turnover, burnout, job dissatisfaction, and lower organisational commitment. In contrast, high-quality listening strengthens relationships and supports better outcomes for both individuals and organisations.    Researchers have shown that defining listening solely as being attentive and responsive during a single conversation is incomplete. Speakers reported feeling heard only when listeners not only attended carefully in the moment but also followed through with the actions they expected. When attentive listening was not matched by subsequent behaviour, speakers experienced it as not being heard https://chatgpt.com/c/699e9d51-82b8-8321-801d-364a1ca4d82c What can individuals do? Employees can also contribute to communication breakdowns, not just leaders. Researchers have found that one significant barrier arises from employees’ attitudes toward authority. When individuals hold psychological resistance to authority in general, or to specific authority figures, they are less willing to listen, follow instructions, or share their perspectives. This resistance becomes a meaningful obstacle to effective professional communication. So what about my client? My client decided to observe and identify opportunities to model correct communication. Readers challenge: Please click here and email me some politely assertive hacks you have considered that will improve communication in your workplace. Please click  here  if you would like to read my past leadership insights .    To subscribe to my blog, please click here :  https://www.balkincoaching.com.au/leadership-blog To set up a meeting with me, please click here : https://calendarbridge.com/book/tamarbalkin/ References: Alderfer, C. P. (1977). Improving organizational communication through long-term intergroup intervention. The Journal of Applied Behavioral Science, 13(2), 193–210. https://doi.org/10.1177/002188637701300207   Amy C. Edmondson, & Besieux, T. (2021). Reflections: Voice and silence in workplace conversations. Journal of Change Management, 21(3), 269–286. https://doi.org/10.1080/14697017.2021.1928910 ( doi.org in Bing)   Asselineau, A., Grolleau, G., & Mzoughi, N. (2024). Quiet environments and the intentional practice of silence: Toward a new perspective in the analysis of silence in organizations. Industrial and Organizational Psychology, 17(3), 326–340. https://doi.org/10.1017/iop.2024.9   Association for Psychological Science. (n.d.). Under time pressure, people tell us what we want to hear. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/under-time-pressure-people-tell-us-what-we-want-to-hear.html   Berg, A. K., & Kauffeld, S. (2024). Proactive verbal behavior in team meetings: Effects of supportive and critical responses on satisfaction and performance. Current Psychology, 43, 20640–20654. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-024-05806   Chinander, K. R., & Schweitzer, M. E. (2003). The input bias: The misuse of input information in judgments of outcomes. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 91(2), 243–253. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0749-5978(03)00025-6   Detert, J. R., & Edmondson, A. C. (2011). Implicit voice theories: Taken-for-granted rules of self-censorship at work. Academy of Management Journal, 54(3), 461–488. https://doi.org/10.5465/amj.2011.61967925   Kriz TD, Kluger AN and Lyddy CJ (2021) Feeling Heard: Experiences of Listening (or Not) at Work. Front. Psychol. 12:659087. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2021.659087   May Busch. (n.d.). How to keep your boss updated. https://maybusch.com/keep-boss-updated   Parker, S. K., Wang, Y., & Liao, J. (2019). When is proactivity wise? A review of factors that influence the individual outcomes of proactive behavior. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 6, 221–248. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-orgpsych-012218-015302 Protzko, J., Zedelius, C. M., & Schooler, J. W. (2019). Rushing to appear virtuous: Time pressure increases socially desirable responding. Psychological Science, 30(11), 1584–1591. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797619867939 Psychology Today. (2018). Verbosity. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/how-to-do-life/201808/verbosity   Yang, J., Wang, B., Liao, Y., Yang, F., & Qian, J. (2025). Silence as a quiet strategy: Understanding the consequences of workplace ostracism through the lens of sociometer theory. Behavioral Sciences, 15(8), 1022. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs15081022

“It wasn’t until I heard her story that I understood her behaviour. She kept leaving the open office to take phone calls, and she never attended social events. I thought she was rude, a snob, or perhaps shy. I had no idea she was struggling with the profound anxiety, grief, and physical distress that comes with failing IVF and associated fertility issues."   Coaching client Personal Photo. R U OK, Blue Trees and the Conversations That Matter Last year, I had the pleasure of a long, beautiful road trip up the WA coast from Perth to Exmouth. We swam with dolphins, sea lions, manta rays, and turtles, and the water was the most magnificent shade of blue I’ve ever seen. Along the way, we noticed something unusual: blue trees. We paused by the side of the road and took photos. My curiosity led me to discover the  Blue Tree Project , an initiative that began in 2019 after the tragic loss of Jayden Whyte, a much-loved son, brother, and friend, to suicide. As we continued on our drive, these painted blue trees sparked countless conversations about mental health, stigma, and support. Why Do I Write About R U OK Day Every Year?  Every year, around R U OK Day, I feel a responsibility to write a blog. And every year, I feel sad that the stigma, discomfort, and ignorance around mental illness still prevail.  This year, I decided to direct you to sources of support and to consider how you would remind yourself of the importance of talking about mental health. Sources of Information:  The  R U OK  organisation continues to produce valuable material on its website.  https://www.ruok.org.au/   Rather than repeat the messages, here are links to my  past R U OK day blogs : How to actually talk about mental health in life and work .  If you only have time to read one blog, this one has a step-by-step outline of how to have an R U OK conversation. The power of connection : research shows 72% of people feel better about themselves and their situation after talking to someone about their concerns. What it really means to listen as a leader . Mental illness hiding in plain sight . How some people appear highly successful while experiencing deep struggles. The importance of noticing small changes . What happens after you ask “R U OK?” .  The 4 steps of an R U OK? conversation (ALEC) As portrayed in the video above, you don't need to be an expert to have an R U OK conversation. Nala at work  This week, Nala will be volunteering through  Delta Therapy Dogs . She’ll be visiting a corporate office, where her calm and gentle nature provides a much-needed pause in the day. In high-pressure environments, time with Nala helps reduce stress, boost morale, and create space for people to breathe. Sometimes, the simplest moments of connection can make the biggest difference. Nala's official volunteering photo, courtesy of Delta Therapy Dogs Practising the Conversation  If you want to practice a conversation, debrief after a meeting, or brainstorm an ongoing concern, just click  here  and book a time for a free chat. If you would like Nala to join in and it's practical, please let me know. My clients often tell me how valuable it is to have a conversation space with an independent professional, with expertise in the complexities of human behaviour in the workplace.  What are your daily responsibilities?  Creating environments in life and work where people can flourish.  Notice a change in someone's behaviour and encourage them to get help. Notice your own emotional state, and seek support when needed. Australian Sources of Help In an emergency:  Call 000 Mental Health Crisis Team:  1800 011 511 (24 hours) Your GP:  They play an important role in coordinating care Clinical Psychologists  and other mental health professionals A Visual Reminder  Regular readers will know how powerful a visual prompt can be in supporting long-term behaviour change. For some, the Blue Trees are symbols that invite us to notice, to listen, to ask, and to give and receive mental health support.  Click  here  to email me and share what visual prompt will remind you to pause, notice, and ask: R U OK? What about my client?  As the session ended, my client reflected: “I read your blogs, I explore my self-awareness in coaching, and as we discussed today, it is my responsibility to reach out to make the effort to connect. To be supportive and respectful. There’s a delicate balance between knowing enough to help and protecting someone’s privacy.  Ultimately, I have realised that it is  all about relationships and personal connection” As always, please  email  me if you or anyone in your network would benefit from coaching.  If you want to lock in a time for a catch-up up please head to  my CalendarBridge by clicking  here :  https://www.calendarbridge.com/book/jotPVTT   If you would like to subscribe to my blog, click  here.     Please click  here to read my past blogs.

“But there you give me one, another you just finished You're my library, always open for business But you never show it, you're just sitting with it.. Line after line, when you're taking it in” Book Club by Arkells (Click here for the song) Personal photo of Nala contemplating her novel, The Whale’s Last Song by Joanne Fedler (click  here  for a summary of this beautiful novel). "I know I need to prioritise leisure activities, particularly reading fiction. But fiction is indulgent and overly time-consuming. There is so much else I need to read to keep ahead in my career."   Coaching client     In my coaching work, I often emphasise the importance of wellbeing non-negotiables, the practices that sustain my clients when life becomes busy. Recently, while listening to a podcast, I was reminded of the well-being benefits of reading. Regular readers know that when basic psychological needs are compromised due to lack of freedom, fulfilment and overwork, people feel controlled, incompetent, or isolated. Fortunately, researchers have found that reading for leisure fosters autonomy, competence, and social connection, reducing the likelihood of negative psychological outcomes even in stressful circumstances.   What are the benefits of reading fiction?   “Books invite us to feel unfamiliar feelings and think alien thoughts. They train us in empathy and make us feel less lonely. They help us to discover what we believe, what we value, and what we never imagined.”  Shilo Brooks   Psychologists have found that reading fiction enhances well-being and cultivates leadership capabilities. Whilst many people read for enjoyment, researchers have found that it has many mental health benefits. Reading reduces stress and anxiety, creates a quiet space for focus, and promotes mindfulness. Regular readers know that the simple act of sitting down with a book can lower stress and produce a mild feeling of joy and contentment.   There is much evidence to indicate that reading fiction improves empathy. Deep immersion in literary fiction broadens the reader’s perspective and enables consideration of others’ viewpoints. Researchers explain that this experience enhances an individual’s Theory Of Mind,  that is, their ability to understand that others hold beliefs and desires different from one’s own.   Most novels contain complexity, characters are flawed, choices are difficult, and outcomes are unpredictable. Fictional scenarios tend to reflect the interpersonal challenges leaders face daily.   Research shows that reading about how complex interpersonal situations are resolved, and the implications that follow, gives leaders a safe way to observe decision‑making, reflect on motives and trade‑offs, and apply these insights to similar challenges in the workplace.   Leaders often face situations without clear answers, and fiction trains the reader to tolerate uncertainty. By immersing oneself in narratives where endings are not obvious, the reader practices cognitive flexibility, improves their self-awareness and their complex decision-making skills. Research in psychology suggests that reading fiction can enhance social‑cognitive abilities. Literary fiction strengthens social cognition because it requires the reader to construct social contexts mentally. Thus, the ability to experience realities beyond the here and now, including hypothetical events, distant worlds and other people’s subjective experiences, translates into measurable improvements in social cognition.   Psychologists and researchers emphasise that every powerful leader, at heart, must also be a skilled storyteller. Fiction does more than entertain; it teaches us how to feel and express narratives. By engaging with fiction, readers refine their communication style, learning pacing, tone, and the art of conveying vision. This practice equips leaders to rally teams, navigate difficult conversations, and inspire collective purpose.   How Does Reading make a difference? “We can think of mindful reading in the way we think of mindful breathing, which is just focusing on your breath. Normally, when we breathe, we don’t think about it because it’s automatic. Traditional reading can be that way too; to get to the destination of finishing that book. Try to slow that down and be aware of the process actually involved in reading.” Dr. Samantha Henry Typically, when we read, we try to get through a book or article either to learn something or simply to find out what happens next. In contrast, researchers suggest that the most beneficial form of reading is  mindful reading . This approach focuses on the act of reading itself, with no destination or goal other than being fully present and attentive to the text.   Mindful reading requires practice. It involves more than just passive skimming or multitasking, and instead, the reader engages consciously with the words. By slowing down, removing distractions, and adopting a non-judgmental attitude, readers gain a deeper understanding and richer emotional benefits.   Mindful reading is also a way of respecting the author’s hard work; they definitely agonised over every word, phrase, and idea.   Literary fiction enables the reader to delve more deeply into the private inner thoughts and motivations of characters. These books tend to have a slower pace, allowing the reader to linger on the language, atmosphere, and explore more profound thoughts and themes.   Researchers found that when readers take time with literary fiction and pay close attention, they imagine the setting and characters vividly. Psychologists call this ability to be mentally carried into the story,  transportation .  When transported, readers report feelings of warmth and compassion, which translates to helping tendencies. Engagement with fictional characters mirrors the processes by which we infer the mental states of real people. Regular readers know the feeling of crying alongside a character or grieving their loss. That connection facilitates our understanding of social information in a simplified, compelling way. Fiction simulates real social interactions, giving us a chance to connect with people who are different from us, broadening our capacity for empathy and social inference.   In addition, deep immersion in fictional worlds, discussing books with others, and reflecting on stories can improve mood, enhance well-being, and reduce distress.   Researchers have found that the benefits of reading are dependent on both lifetime exposure to fiction and the extent to which a reader feels  transported  by a narrative.   “Recreational reading, also referred to as volitional reading, or leisure reading, is defined as the voluntary choice to read preferred books during one’s free-time.” Levine, S. L., Cherrier, S., Holding, A. C., & Koestner, R. (2022)     The evidence suggests that the benefits of reading depend on autonomy. When reading is pursued for personal interest, joy, or meaning, it fosters well-being and resilience. Regular readers know that individuals who are driven by personal interest, intrinsic enjoyment, or a sense of meaning tend to make greater progress toward their goals. Thus, when reading is pursued for pleasure, self-development, or personal satisfaction, it will be self-perpetuating and improve well-being. The pleasure of fiction is unique to each individual. What fascinates one person may bore another. The key is cultivating autonomy, choosing books that resonate personally and engaging with them mindfully.   Although the short-term impact of leisure reading may be modest, researchers have found that consistent engagement accumulates. Reading one book a month can, over a year, produce meaningful improvements in mental health. This pattern extends to other self-care activities like yoga or meditation: each small dose matters, but regular practice creates powerful effects. Researchers have found that when reading becomes a habit, its cumulative impact on wellbeing and leadership is profound.   So what about my client?   During the coaching session, it became clear that the client had overcome a major obstacle at work and recognised the need to pause and acknowledge his accomplishment. As is often the case in these circumstances, I encouraged him to reward himself with an enjoyable leisure activity he hadn’t undertaken for some time. He reflected and said,  “I’m going to sit in my favourite chair and read the novel that has been collecting dust on my shelf for six months. I know once I start, I just won’t stop.”     Readers Challenge: I challenge you to take the time to read a novel, slow down, savour the prose, and allow yourself to ponder the language. As an avid reader, I wanted to share with you some books I have read recently that highlight the power of reading, and I hope will inspire the non-readers to delve into the transformative world of fiction. The Air Raid Book Club , Annie Lyons The Bogan Book Club , John Larkin The Last Bookshop in London , Madeline Martin The Little Wartime Library , Kate Thompson The Wartime Book Club , Kate Thompson 84 Charing Cross Road , Helene Hanff The Librarians of Rue de Picardie , Janet Skeslien Charles The Paris Library , Janet Skeslien Charles I’m always open to book recommendations, so take a moment, click  here  and email me your favourite novels of 2025.   Special thanks:   Huge thanks to Bari Weiss and Shilo Brooks for the interview that sparked this post  (click  here  to listen) . And to my book club, for our monthly catch‑ups where we laugh, chat, and nurture our shared love of novels.   ----------------------------------- References: Bone, J. K., et al. (2025). The decline in reading for pleasure over 20 years of the American Time Use Survey.  iScience, 28 (9), 113288.  https://doi.org/10.1016/j.isci.2025.113288   Bookish Brews. (2022, May 29). Benefits of reading fiction: 7 studies that encourage reading.  Bookish Brews .  https://bookishbrews.com/the-benefits-of-reading/   Dowrick, C., Billington, J., Robinson, J., Hamer, A., & Williams, C. (2012). Get into Reading as an intervention for common mental health problems: Exploring catalysts for change.  Medical Humanities, 38 (1), 15–20.  https://doi.org/10.1136/medhum-2011-010083   Levine, S. L., Cherrier, S., Holding, A. C., & Koestner, R. (2022). For the love of reading: Recreational reading reduces psychological distress in college students and autonomous motivation is the key.  Journal of American College Health ,  70 (1), 158–164.  https://doi.org/10.1080/07448481.2020.1728280   Marshall, R. (2020). Reading fiction: The benefits are numerous.  British Journal of General Practice, 70 (691), 79.  https://doi.org/10.3399/bjgp20X707945   Mar, R. A., & Oatley, K. (2008). The function of fiction is the abstraction and simulation of social experience.  Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3 (3), 173–192.  https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6924.2008.00073 .   Panero, M. E., Weisberg, D. S., Black, J., Goldstein, T. R., Barnes, J. L., Brownell, H., & Winner, E. (2016). Does reading a single passage of literary fiction really improve theory of mind? An attempt at replication.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology . Advance online publication.  https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000064   Stansfield, J., & Bunce, L. (2014). The relationship between empathy and reading fiction: Separate roles for cognitive and affective components.  Journal of European Psychology Students, 5 (3), 9–18.  https://doi.org/10.5334/jeps.ca   Tamir, D. I., Bricker, A. B., Dodell-Feder, D., & Mitchell, J. P. (2016). Reading fiction and reading minds: The role of simulation in the default network.  Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 11 (2), 215–224.  https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsv114   Weiss, B. (2025).  Can Reading Fix Men?  [online] Thefp.com . Available at: https://www.thefp.com/p/can-reading-fix-men-shilo-brooks-bari-weiss .   Psychology Today. (2025, November 21). Can reading fiction actually make you happier?  Psychology Today .  https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/frazzlebrain/202511/can-reading-fiction-actually-make-you-happier   Baylor College of Medicine. (2023, October 5). Mindful reading and mental health.  Baylor College of Medicine News . https://www.bcm.edu/news/mindful-reading-and-mental-health

“We're not gonna take it Oh no, we ain't gonna take it We're not gonna take it anymore" We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister ( click here for the song) Photo by Dmitry Vechorko on Unsplash “It wasn’t the sentiment, I can handle the truth, it was the tone and the language. I never expected someone in the senior executive of a listed company to swear and be so unkind.” Client. When I hear examples of rudeness in large national organisations, I always feel a sense of disappointment. With all the talk of wellbeing, inclusion I am perplexed as to why people don’t have manners. Last year I blogged in general about manners (click here for my blog) and thus today I decided to focus on the research into workplace rudeness. Researchers found that when rudeness has become embedded within the social fabric of the workplace, it can be both contagious and contaminating. Witnessing rudeness at the beginning of the work day can lead people to perceive more workplace rudeness throughout their day. In addition employees who experience rudeness at work will (a) perform worse on important intensive work activities, and (b) withdraw psychologically and socially from others at work. Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash What causes workplace rudeness? Regular readers would be aware that the ‘dark side of personality’ emerges when people are tired stressed or bored. What are the delicate situations to be wary of? Periods of high pressure and stress where there is a tendency to ‘let your guard down’ an allow the the dark side of personality to emerge. (click here for my blog on the “Dark side of personality”). Decision making. By its very nature decision making in organisations is fraught. Given the volume and magnitude of decisions a leader makes daily, it is inevitable that even the kindest most rational of leaders will inevitably not be able to please everyone (click here for my blog on decision making). It is also valuable to be mindful of the fact that adjustment and life satisfaction is much higher when you are pulled rather than pushed into a decision. Unfortunately, the nature of life especially in the last 12 months has been characterised by decisions being ‘pushed’ on us. Requests for support from employees. When an employee asks for support it is an effective technique of improving their productivity, job satisfaction and wellbeing. When these requests go unanswered, it will negatively impact how they feel, behave, and connect with others, especially their boss. In addition, this impact will be exacerbated if they perceive differential treatment of employees. Ignorance of Bad habits: Many of my most well-meaning clients were not only unaware that they behaviour was viewed as rude but it had become a habit they did not know how to undo. “The escape from problem blindness begins when with the shock of awareness that you’ve come to treat the abnormal as normal” Dan Heath What skills should leaders practice? Self-Awareness (Click here for my blog on Self-awareness ) Emotional Intelligence (Click here for my blog on emotional intelligence) Emotional Regulation (Click here for my blog on feelings and here for my blogs on emotional regulation) Regular readers would be aware that whilst this list looks short and simple, each element is extremely complicated. What about wellbeing, can YOU “handle the truth”? Click here for the famous "you cant handle the truth" scene with Jack Nicholson from the movie A Few Good Men. Regular readers know that wellbeing can be imagined as a “see-saw” with a balance point between an individual’s inner resource pool and the challenges faced. Stable wellbeing is when individuals have the psychological, social and physical resources they need to meet all the challenges they face. When individuals have more challenges than resources, the see-saw dips, along with their wellbeing, in addition people are motivated to acquire resources and prevent resource loss. Many colleagues, and clients will sheepishly tell me that ‘just for the moment’ they are working long hours, don’t have time for a lunch break know that they aren’t really looking after their wellbeing. They always have a multiple of explanations: they are a team member down; there’s a big project on, or whatever. It is clear that by raising their discomfort with me they are mindful that they need to face the truth. Ideally everyone should regularly sit down and objectively review their demands and resources and make the brave call to not only increase resources but to reduce demands. “By kindness I mean compassion, tolerance, respect, sensitivity towards other people. And the radical version is absolutely non-discriminatory; the revolution is when you are kind not just to your nice neighbour, but to the ones you don’t know or don’t like much.” Hugh Mackay Finally, thank you to the reader who told me that when they are really angry and frustrated, they go for a walk and listen to heavy metal music, you inspired the song this week. ----------------------------------- References: Dodge, R., Daly, A., Huyton, J., & Sanders, L. (2012). The challenge of defining wellbeing. International Journal of Wellbeing, 2(3), 222-235. Eurich, Dr T. (2017) Insight: The Power of Self-Awareness in a Self-Deluded World. https://www.theaustralian.com.au/weekend-australian-magazine/qa-hugh-mackay-social-psychologist-author-83/news-story/fcb659e5b7cc94d080f904a5dc826393 McIlroy, T. D., Parker, S. L., & McKimmie, B. M. (2021). The effects of unanswered supervisor support on employees’ well-being, performance, and relational outcomes. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 26 (1), 49–68 Woolum, A., Foulk, T., Lanaj, K., & Erez, A. (2017). Rude color glasses: The contaminating effects of witnessed morning rudeness on perceptions and behaviors throughout the workday. Journal of Applied Psychology, 102 (12), 1658–1672. Kenneth S. Shultz, Kelly R. Morton, Joelle R. Weckerle, (1998) The Influence of Push and Pull Factors on Voluntary and Involuntary Early Retirees' Retirement Decision and Adjustment, Journal of Vocational Behavior, 53,(1) 45-57,

Personal photo of a sign in Sydney "You can turn this world around,  And bring back all of those happy days Put your troubles down.. And we will find, A way to come together And make things better, We need a holiday" Holiday   by Madonna ( click here for the song ) What excuses have you been making for not completely switching off from work for an extended period of time?    - COVID fear - the precarious state of the economy; - there is just too much to do; - there’s nowhere to go; or  - You sit and dream like Beach Boys’ of a trip to fictional “place called Kokomo, That's where you want to go to get away from it all” ( click here for the song ). While it is really easy to come up with excuses for not planning a holiday, now more than ever it is critical that you do.   I did wonder as I wrote this blog if my words are as futile as the sign in the picture above. Nevertheless, I felt a responsibility to remind readers that the tendency to overwork is occurring at a rapid rate in 2020 and is significantly impacting wellbeing.  "People who are burnt out, it's not because the job's all bad, it's not because the person is flawed in some kind of way — it's because the connection between the two of them has gone screwy." Professor Michael Leiter So what are some of  the benefits to taking a proper break from work: Heart health:   Your heart rate reduces even in the time leading up to the holiday as you anticipate the break from work.   Psychological wellbeing:   Vacations reduce exhaustion, health complaints, and lower the risk of anxiety and depression. Holidays improve our sleep quality, mood and increase life satisfaction. All of these benefits occur before, during and for up to a month after the vacation.   Organisational impacts:   Morale, collaboration, and productivity increase; incivility, conflict, sick leave and turnover decease. There is also a reduction in the financial risks associated with accumulated  annual leave.  How do holidays actually help us? Holidays are a time for ‘recovery’, this is the process of unwinding the impact of the stress of our work on our physiological and psychological systems. The more complete our detachment from work the better the recovery.  “A completely detached employee is able to stop thinking about work related issues, is no longer bothered by work related negative emotions, and is able to shake off physical exertion from work”  Jan De Jong How do we build wellbeing resources during our holidays? Researchers found that the following  activities were resource building: - Traditional relaxing activities such as: reading a nice book; taking a long, quiet walk; and emotional regulation  techniques. (see my resources page  or my blog for ideas) - Activities that require an individual challenge or that offer the possibility to learn new skills - Taking the time to reflect on the positive aspects of  your work. We're on a road to nowhere Come on inside Taking that ride to nowhere We'll take that ride I'm feeling okay this morning And you know We're on the road to paradise Here we go, here we go Road to Nowhere  Talking Heads Interestingly, loosing resources has a bigger impact on wellbeing than gaining resources. Therefore it is even more important that while you are away from work you don’t think about the negative aspects of your job as it will drain you.  In addition, a bit of forward planning will minimise the likelihood of non-work hassles  derailing you and maximise the benefits of your well deserved break. Be mindful that returning to an excessive work load is counterproductive. So before you take a break, take all the necessary steps to ensure your colleagues, stakeholders and customers know you will not be available, and ensure that your work that been appropriately  reallocated. "No more working for a week or two. Fun and laughter on our .. holiday, No more worries for me or you, For a week or two." Summer Holiday, Cliff Richard The benefits of a vacation come from the long complete break from work, not from the fancy activities or travelling to a magnificent destination. Researchers have found that you need more than 7 days away from work to really disconnect.  Vacations are the longest chunk of leisure time that will relieve you from your job stress and leave you free to do as you please. “Instead of pondering where to go, how long and what to do there, focus on the things that really matter: a smooth start of the vacation period, mental disengagement from everyday worries, pleasure and autonomy during the holiday, a memorable end of the vacation period and a gradual return to work.” Jessica De Bloom In my opinion regular vacations are a critical component of our our wellbeing. As a leader, you have the responsibility to set the example for others.  So, stop what you are doing and book in some leave, then sit back and enjoy the ‘holiday’ related songs I have added to my blog playlist. (If you like, email me your favourite holiday song and I'll add it.)  References and further reading. If you need some inspiration for leisure activities for your vacation  take a look at Laura Archers book  https://www.goneforlunch.com/ or listen to her interview with Bruce Daisley https://eatsleepworkrepeat.com/honey-i-hacked-my-job/ Psychology Today. (n.d.).  The stay-cation: Having fun while staying put . [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201006/the-stay-cation-having-fun-while-staying-put [Accessed 17 Aug. 2020]. Garcês, S., Pocinho, M., Jesus, S.N. and Rieber, M.S. (2018). Positive psychology and tourism: a systematic literature review.  Tourism & Management Studies , [online] 14(3), pp.41–51. thepsychologist.bps.org.uk. (n.d.).  Making holidays work | The Psychologist . [online] Available at: https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-28/august-2015/making-holidays-work [Accessed 18 Aug. 2020]. ‌ https://twitter.com/isabellakahhale/status/1295080138917523456?s=12 ‘A hardworking culture is ingrained in our DNA’  2017, NewsComAu, viewed 18 August 2020, . ‌ https://www.fairwork.gov.au/leave/annual-leave/directing-an-employee-to-take-annual-leave/direction-to-take-excess-annual-leave Finance, C. (n.d.).  Not-so-annual leave: How massive annual leave balances impact your cashflow . [online] blog.cashflowfinance.com.au. Available at: https://blog.cashflowfinance.com.au/blog/not-so-annual-leave-how-massive-annual-leave-balances-impact-your-cashflow [Accessed 18 Aug. 2020]. ‌ https://www.ceicdata.com/en/australia/actual-hours-worked Hruska, B., Pressman, S.D., Bendinskas, K. and Gump, B.B. (2019). Do vacations alter the connection between stress and cardiovascular activity? The effects of a planned vacation on the relationship between weekly stress and ambulatory heart rate.  Psychology & Health , 35(8), pp.984–999. ‌ DE JONGE, J. (2019). What makes a good work break? Off-job and on-job recovery as predictors of employee health.  Industrial Health . www.headsup.org.au. (n.d.).  How encouraging employees to take their annual leave can benefit your workplace . [online] Available at: https://www.headsup.org.au/training-and-resources/news/2018/11/28/how-encouraging-employees-to-take-their-annual-leave-can-benefit-your-workplace [Accessed 18 Aug. 2020]. ‌ ‌ Gillezeau, N. (2019).  The burnout generation . [online] Australian Financial Review. Available at: https://www.afr.com/work-and-careers/careers/the-price-of-burnout-culture-20190531-p51t68 [Accessed 21 Nov. 2019]. ‌ Rotenstein, L.S., Zhao, Z., Mata, D.A., Guille, C. and Sen, S. (2020). Substantial Overlap Between Factors Predicting Symptoms of Depression and Burnout Among Medical Interns.  Journal of General Internal Medicine . ‌ https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/conservation-of-resources Fritz, C. and Sonnentag, S. (2006). Recovery, well-being, and performance-related outcomes: The role of workload and vacation experiences.  Journal of Applied Psychology , 91(4), pp.936–945. Hobfoll, S.E. (1989). Conservation of resources: A new attempt at conceptualizing stress. American Psychologist, 44(3), pp.513–524.

“It might be a kind of relief to be finished. It’s sort of like you don’t know what kind of yard dash you’re running, but then you’re at the finish line and you sort of sigh – you’ve made it!  But you never have – you have to start all over again.” Marilyn Monroe Personal photo as I strolled from Bondi to Bronte ‘I just need time to breathe’ said a client to me yesterday after he had spent 20 minutes describing all the things he wanted to complete before Christmas. There is always a bit of a mad rush this time of year, in Australia as not much work gets done in January, there is always extra pressure in November and December to work especially hard. I am also noticing in conversations with colleagues and clients that the precariousness of the world economy has shifted this pressure up a notch. Regular readers know that looking after their wellbeing is especially critical when you feel you ‘don’t have the time for it’. Taking time to breathe can involve:   Reaffirming boundaries (Click here for my past blog)  Reclaiming  your lunch break  (Click here for my past blog)  Eating and sleeping well  (Click here for my past blog)  Inserting a pause in your day (Click here for my past blog)  Regular Exercise  (Click here for my past blog)  Connecting  with nature  (Click here for my past blog)  Experiencing Leisure (Click here for my past blog)   Simply sitting and breathing.  Thank you to the reader who shared the Deep Breathing Exercises Relax by Rehegoo app with me.  (Click here for the app) When I next meet with my client it will be interesting to see how committed he has been to a few simple changes to his work routine around firm work life boundaries and taking time daily to sit under a tree and ‘breathe’. "Watching in slow motion As you turn around and say Take my breath away Take my breath away" Take My Breath Away By Berlin (click here for the song) As you give yourself time to figuratively breathe over the next week, notice how your productivity, accuracy, creativity and general enjoyment of life increases. So email me and tell me “How are you going to “make hay while the sun shines” and bring some breathing time into your busy life?”

"When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary When troubles come and my heart burdened be Then, I am still and wait here in the silence Until You come and sit awhile with me." You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban (click here for the song) Click on the picture to watch my 87 second Vlog, to better understand how finding purpose beyond work will improve your wellbeing. "It's like you're always stuck in second gear When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month Or even your year" I’ll Be There For You by The Rembrandts (click here for the song) I encourage all of you to step outside and take a moment to think about how you can find purpose beyond work by doing something for someone else. Beyond the obvious benefits to your and the recipient, according to Adam Grant helping others also improves your productivity. (Click here for my past blog on productivity) "Lean on me When you're not strong And I'll be your friend I’ll help you carry on" Lean On Me by Bill Withers (click here for the song) Thank you to Ben Baran and Chris Everett from the Indigo podcast for inspiring this blog. References: Anderson, N.D., Damianakis, T., Kröger, E., Wagner, L.M., Dawson, D.R., Binns, M.A., Bernstein, S., Caspi, E. and Cook, S.L. (2014). The benefits associated with volunteering among seniors: A critical review and recommendations for future research. Psychological Bulletin , 140(6), pp.1505–1533. Curry, O.S., Rowland, L.A., Van Lissa, C.J., Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J. and Whitehouse, H. (2018). Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology , 76, pp.320–329. ‌Jenkinson, C.E., Dickens, A.P., Jones, K., Thompson-Coon, J., Taylor, R.S., Rogers, M., Bambra, C.L., Lang, I. and Richards, S.H. (2013). Is volunteering a public health intervention? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the health and survival of volunteers. BMC Public Health , [online] 13(1). Available at: https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-13-773 [Accessed 19 Nov. 2019]. Kerr, S.L., O’Donovan, A. and Pepping, C.A. (2014). Can Gratitude and Kindness Interventions Enhance Well-Being in a Clinical Sample? Journal of Happiness Studies , 16(1), pp.17–36. ‌ Pillemer, K., Fuller-Rowell, T.E., Reid, M.C. and Wells, N.M. (2010). Environmental Volunteering and Health Outcomes over a 20-Year Period. The Gerontologist , 50(5), pp.594–602. https://www.indigotogether.com/indigopodcast/what-can-i-do

"I work all night, I work all day to pay the bills I have to pay Ain't it sad? And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me That's too bad In my dreams I have a plan" Money Money Money by ABBA ( click here for the song) Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash This morning I was discussing with a client her frustration over her team’s lack of compliance with simple administrative aspects of their jobs, like leave forms, pretty cash etc. When I probed to ask what was going on for her team she sighed and said. “They are disgruntled from reading about the executive team pay outs…And their pay has gone down.. they are stressed and demoralised.. Perhaps they are having a little protest???” Do the employed experience financial strain? “Nationally one in three adult men and one in two adult women do not understand key basic financial literacy concepts such as interest rates, inflation and risk diversification.” Preston Do not assume that because someone is on a ‘good salary’ they don’t have financial difficulties. The following circumstances could impact anyone: Addictions: gambling; alcohol; drugs; or excessive shopping Health bills Keeping up with the Jones’s (or the Kardashian’s) Domestic violence (especially financial abuse) Financially supporting relatives who are in debt, or are overseas Assuming that variable pay (bonus, commissions etc) are a certainty Greed Failed risky investments Decline in general household income due to partner/spouse job loss or other factors Credit card debt Unmanageable general financial debt New mortgage The gender gap in superannuation Providing financial support to dependent children Financial literacy is important determinant of quality of life, wealth accumulation, planning for retirement, superannuation savings, women’s economic empowerment and domestic violence. A recent study found that only 45% adults in Australia are financially illiterate. What is the impact of financial strain? “financial strain is the strongest mediating factor between unemployment and ill health” The large body of research into financial strain, dates back to 1928, when Marie Jahoda studied the impact of unemployment on psychological wellbeing. Consistent with contemporary research she concluded that the majority of unemployed have compromised mental health. A recent meta-analysis found that unemployment is associated with greater incidence of suicide, the greatest risk occurring in the first five years. Recently researchers have looked that the are emotional and social impacts of financial strain amongst the employed. Financial problems can lead to difficulties in other areas of life such as health and relationships. When people are constantly worrying about money, it detracts from their concentration at work. A recent study found that alleviating financial concerns boosts worker moral, improves planning and focus, productivity, and reduces mistakes. What can you do? “If we want employees to fulfil our company’s mission and innovate and effectively deliver services, we simply can’t have them worrying how they’ll make ends meet every month or how they’ll cover the long-term needs of their families.” Dan Schulman In 2019 PayPal decided to measure the net disposable income of all their employees, the amount of money they have left each month after covering taxes and essential living expenses. Ideally, they believed that all employees should be able to save 20% of their pay. They implemented 4 initiatives: reducing health care costs; reviewed salaries, offered shares, and provided financial literacy education to enable them to reach their goal. An interesting aspect of the unemployment literature is impact of social support. Regular readers would be aware of the benefits of social support on wellbeing (click here for my blog on relationships and wellbeing and here for my blog on social support during times of change). Researchers have repeatedly found that perceived availability and satisfaction with general social support reduces impact of financial strain. Finally, if your staff are experiencing distress and encourage them to get help from a trusted Financial planner and a Clinical psychologist.(click here for my blog on asking for help) So what is my client's plan? There is a lot of turmoil in her organisation, and in her sector. increasing regulation. Never the less she can control the culture within her part of the business and foster psychological safety. She has some influence over salaries and she can encourage her employees to improve their financial literacy. To begin this slow process, she is meeting individually with each of her team to see what’s going on for them. When I catch up next with my client it will be interesting to hear about the impact of these conversations. References: Baron, J.N. (2013). Empathy wages?: Gratitude and gift exchange in employment relationships. Research in Organizational Behavior , 33, pp.113–134. Balkin T (1999) Impact of Unemployment On The Psychological Wellbeing Of Migrants And Non-Migrants (unpublished master’s thesis) Duberstein, P.R., Conwell, Y., Conner, K.R., Eberly, S. And Caine, E.D. (2004). Suicide At 50 years of age and older: perceived physical illness, family discord and financial strain. Psychological Medicine , 34(1), pp.137–146. Grant. A. (11/5/21) Why it Pays more to Pay More: Transcript, WorkLife www.ted.com. (n.d.). Why it Pays more to Pay More: Transcript. [online] Available at: https://www.ted.com/podcasts/worklife/why-it-pays-more-to-pay-more-transcript open.spotify.com. (n.d.). Why it Pays to Raise Pay . [online] Available at: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4KN4psnx1erdbHFCdBSDof?si=GO_HbMRhTROHnchE6XT_jg Gregory, M. (2018). The Psychology of Money . [online] PsychHelp. Available at: https://www.psychhelp.com.au/the-psychology-of-money/ . Kaur, S., Mullainathan, S., Oh, S. and Schilbach, F. (2021). Do Financial Concerns Make Workers Less Productive? [online] www.nber.org. Available at: http://www.nber.org/papers/w28338 [Accessed 19 May 2021]. McLeod, S. (2010). SRRS - Stressful Life Events and Daily Hassles | Simply Psychology . [online] Simplypsychology.org. Available at: https://www.simplypsychology.org/SRRS.html. ‌ Milner, A., Page, A. and LaMontagne, A.D. (2013). Long-Term Unemployment and Suicide: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. PLoS ONE , 8(1), p.e51333. ‌ Preston, A. (2020). Financial Literacy in Australia: Insights from HILDA Data . [online] . Available at: https://www.financialcapability.gov.au/files/financial-literacy-in-australia-insights-from-hilda-data.pdf. Sarason, I.G., Levine, H.M., Basham, R.B. and Sarason, B.R. (1983). Assessing social support: The Social Support Questionnaire. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 44(1), pp.127–139. ideas.ted.com. (2020). How can you ensure your workers are not just surviving — but thriving? A CEO shares a new approach. [online] Available at: https://ideas.ted.com/how-can-you-ensure-your-workers-are-not-just-surviving-but-thriving-a-ceo-shares-a-new-approach/. ‌ ‌ www.aipm.com.au. (n.d.). Can Australia Close the Gender Gap on Superannuation? [online] Available at: https://www.aipm.com.au/blog/articles/can-australia-close-the-gender-gap-on-superannuati [Accessed 11 May 2021].

I have a draft blog sitting on my laptop that I may send out later in the week but an experience this morning reminded me of the importance of pausing to stop look and listen. So click here for my short vlog, enjoy the sights and sounds of Sydney harbour and learn the benefits of taking a moment to stop, look and listen. Take a moment to email and tell me what new leadership and wellbeing habits have you cultivated in the past year that are helping you to cope with the uncertainty you face today?

“Every time I think my ship is comin' in That old tide will turn and it'll take me back out again If I just lay back and float I'll be in trouble you see So I gotta keep working and kicking and swimming upstream” Swimming upstream by Glen Campbell (click here for the music) Heath, D. (2020). Upstream : how to solve problems before they happen . P1 London: Bantam Press. What is the connection between upstream behaviour and wellbeing? Regular readers would know that an evidence based approach to creating a psychologically safe and healthy workplace is underpinned by proactive organisation wide initiatives. In my opinion one of the biggest problems organisations face today is the psychological wellbeing of their employees. This week saw the release by the National Mental Health Commission of the Blueprint for Mentally Healthy Workplaces. The Blueprint aims to define a vision of mentally healthy workplaces that can be shared by all organisations and businesses across Australia. Mentally Healthy workplaces are, of course a passion of mine, and public comment is invaluable at shaping the future of work in Australia. This blueprint is for all size businesses, in every sector. So please, take the time click here , have your say and play your part in creating workplaces where people thrive not just survive. “I just don’t understand why they come in once a year looking for problems. I understand the need for compliance, but we work for the same organisation. Surely they could help us nip things in the bud, or even prevent problems rather than wrapping us over the knuckles when things go awry” Coaching client Regular readers would be aware of the benefits of prevention, and management literature is filled with techniques to uncover the true causes of errors in organisations, yet it is not common practice. To go “upstream” seems logical yet also impossible. When large amounts of money have been spent on something and or it has been sanctioned by the board and senior executive, it is very challenging to then highlight inconsistencies or errors of judgement. So what are the barriers to upstream action? Design of the organisation Regular readers would be aware that organisations are particularly complex indesign politics and overwhelmed by constant change. In many organisations there are silos, departments focus on their own KPI’s, stakeholders, customers, culture, teams, and concerns. Collaboration and cross functional teams are spoken of but either not implemented properly or at all. Cooperation within a team, and across teams promotes a problem-solving orientation, which in turn allows team members and leaders to discuss errors and learn from mistakes. Lack of psychological safety For proactive work to occur, all employees need to feel safe and comfortable talking openly about errors. Regular readers would be aware of Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety. A central theme in research on psychological safety is that it facilitates the willing contribution of ideas and actions to a shared organisation. People are more likely to believe they will be given the benefit of the doubt when relationships are characterised by trust and respect. A culture of psychological safety enables creative ideas and critical discussion, without embarrassment or excessive personal conflict between team members. In fact, it will serve to facilitate the open respectful conversations necessary for upstream preventive problem solving. Who is listening? Regular readers would be aware that often it may be the more junior staff who can identify issues early and therefore upward communication can be a fundamental resource in helping contemporary organisations learn and succeed. Typically speaking up to the boss to challenge the status quo, or identify problems or opportunities for improvement, can be seen as risky, and inappropriate. Problem blindness If we don’t see a problem, how can we resolve it, sometimes something that’s actually ineffective has become normalised, and seen as ‘just how it is around here'. The visual phenomenon known as inattentional bias, whereby " we can fail to perceive very major things going on right in front of our eyes," (Brian Scholl) especially if they are unexpected, may apply to workplace events and behaviour as well. Lack of ownership If the problem exists across departments, as is most often the case, then who is actually responsible for the resolution? It takes a high level of emotional intelligence to work across divisions with grace, humility and curiosity in order to access all the necessary information. A strategic evidence based approach will enable the generation of upstream options, and influencing skills are essential to ensure change occurs. Bandwidth “When a problem comes up, it’s only natural to solve the problem as quickly and inexpensively as possible. You cut yourself, you put a band-aid on. Your truck gets a flat tire, you put the spare on. The lawn mower won’t start, you buy a goat. What if a problem keeps recurring? Do you keep fixing it?” When we are overwhelmed and have a shortage of time, typically we will focus on the downstream issues, the ones in close proximity that are causing the current concerns or hiccups. When something goes wrong many people believe they only have time to react and naively believe they will address the bigger issues when there’s nothing "urgent". Choosing a focus Regular readers would know that there is no silver bullet or magic leaver that will always be appropriate in all organisations. Therefore taking an evidence based approach to identifying problems is invaluable (click here for my blog on evidence based practice). Critical elements of an upstream approach Identify the right people: to both research and lead the change Know how to change the system Find a point of leverage Identify the financial and other consequences of no action Identify early warning signs Criterion and measures of success Define steps to mitigate harm “We make it a priority on every single day of our lives, even the busiest ones, to perform a twice-daily regimen of preventative scrubbing”… “The most successful habit we have developed as a species is for the preservation of our…. Lungs brains hearts teeth.” Dan Heath Click here for a video my daughter took of a baby turtle making its way to the ocean Final thoughts A few years ago my family had the privilege of watching baby turtles hatch and scurry to the sea, bravely dodging seagulls and other predators. Once they enter the ocean, they need to independently stay safe, warm and fed, for many years until they are fully grown and continue the mating cycle. To be proactive in their approach to problem solving, leaders need to be prepared to be brave, and swim against the prevailing tide for as long as necessary. References: Thompson, H. (2014). Where Do Newly Hatched Baby Sea Turtles Go? [online] Smithsonian. Available at: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/where-do-newly-hatched-baby-sea-turtles-go-180949954/. Edmondson, A.C. and Lei, Z. (2014). Psychological Safety: The History, Renaissance, and Future of an Interpersonal Construct. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior , 1(1), pp.23–43. ‌ Sights unseen. (n.d.). https://www.apa.org . [online] Available at: https://www.apa.org/monitor/apr01/blindness. Team, J.B. & C. (n.d.). Top 4 Companies That Use Cross-Functional Teams to Drive Innovation . [online] www.cascade.app. Available at: https://www.cascade.app/blog/cross-functional-teams-drive-innovation. Heath, D. (2020). Upstream : how to solve problems before they happen . London: Bantam Press. https://www.tigertough.com/blog/problem-solving-vs-problem-prevention-police-truck-seat-covers/

"Many days fell away with nothing to show And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love Grey clouds roll over the hills Bringing darkness from above But if you close your eyes Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all? And if you close your eyes Does it almost feel like you've been here before? How am I gonna be an optimist about this? How am I gonna be an optimist about this?" Pompeii by Bastille (click here to listen) Personal photo of Nala enjoying the sand and sun Whilst my tips at the end of 2021 were uncomplicated, (click here for the blog) I am well aware that for many people the summer break did not go according to plan. Regular readers would know that: Proactively Seeking Out Positive Experiences can Improve Your Wellbeing (click here for the blog) Savouring Moments can Enhance Our Wellbeing (click here for the blog) There are wellbeing benefits to Making Hay While The Sun Shines (click here for the blog) It is not naive to look for a silver lining in times of upheaval (click here for the blog) "When anything bothers me and I am feeling unhappy.. I try to think of nice things" Maria from the Sound of Music (click here to listen) Click here to listen to " My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music Final thoughts: Researchers have found that sharing, talking to a friend or the people around you about your positive experiences and the emotions you experienced, further generates more positive emotions for you. So please email and tell me, what was fabulous about your summer break? References: Available on request

“When you're smilin', when you're smilin' The whole world smiles with you When you're laughin', when you're laughin' The sun comes shinin' through" When you’re smiling the whole world smiles with you by Frank Sinatra (click here for three delightful versions of the song) Personal photo of check in line at Sydney Airport, I was actually standing in a repurposed car park as there was insufficient space inside the terminal for the queue. "Our day-to-day positive emotions function as nutrients for our overall wellbeing. Today’s positive emotions do not simply exemplify today’s wellbeing, they also help to create next month’s increases in wellbeing" Dr. Fredrickson Last week I flew to the Gold Coast to attend the Australian Psychological Society's Industrial and Organisational Psychology Conference. Knowing that there is chaos and long wait times at airports, I was curious to observe the behaviour of the people travelling. Surprisingly, the mood in the long queues was very calm and amicable even for people who were in a rush to catch their flights. I am aware that Australians are rule followers and often very polite when queuing yet something else was going on. As I was pondering this phenomenon, I noticed the friendly smiles and calm helpful disposition of the airline staff. Regular readers would know that emotions are contagious. Recent research has demonstrated that when a smile is shared, whether it was genuine or not, both parties’ experience an elevated mood. In fact, an employee’s display of positive emotions played a critical role in predicting the customer’s display of positive emotions which in turn reinforces the employee’s positive mood. What was fascinating was the finding that a smile over the phone can have the same impact as a smile in person. Regular readers would be aware that an individual’s positive mood facilitates upward spirals toward better emotional well-being. When feedback is immediate and specific it is most informative. As it is a real response, a customer’s emotional reaction to employee behaviour can be more informative than a formal performance appraisal. Roles with regular spontaneous positive feedback from customers provides an inbuilt non-financial reward for employees. Thus, when a customer returns a smile, the employee feels the satisfaction of a job well done. Annie (1982) - You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile Scene (6/10) | Movieclips Word of caution: “Most people would prefer to be in charge of their own smiles. Putting on that smile to perform one’s work role can have surprising costs depending on how the emotions are regulated.” Alicia A. Grandey Performing emotional labour – that is, regulating one’s emotions for a wage – can make for satisfying work when employees are given the freedom to choose how they perform the behaviours. However, research has demonstrated that suppressing and faking emotional expressions depletes personal resources and predicts job strain. Thus, when an employee bears the brunt of poor strategic business decisions and is expected to smile regardless, it will increase the likelihood of stress, job strain, cynicism, and burnout. Whilst regular readers would know that personal control has been shown to have a buffering effect against draining situations, often the customer facing employee has very limited control. In addition, self-regulation depends on a limited pool of mental resources. If these resources are depleted, it increases the likelihood that the employee may behave inappropriately towards an aggrieved customer. It is therefore incumbent on all leaders when problems arise to not just ask staff to smile, but to take steps to address the current predicament. In addition it is critical to talk to staff, inquire about issues and look upstream to learn how to minimise the likelihood of similar situations in the future. Sia - You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile (Annie, 2014 Film Version) Final thoughts: I have included two versions of the song "you're never fully dressed without a smile" from the musical Annie, I hope you enjoy them. Please email me to share your thoughts on the messages they convey. Regular readers would be aware that if an organisation has a genuine strategic focus on minimising preventable friction and maximising employee wellbeing, then smiling can be delightful for all. As I was privileged to attend all three days of the college of organisational psychologists’ conference, I shall endeavour to share with you the latest research in leadership, self-awareness, and wellbeing in my future blogs. References: Podcast: Professor Dan Cable and comedian Akin Omobitan Service with a Smile: Who Benefits Most? SQUEEZING THE ORANGE 8 JUN ⋅ 30:57 https://squeezingtheorange.podbean.com/ Association for Psychological Science - APS. (n.d.). What ‘Service With a Smile’ Means for Employee Well-Being . [online] Available at: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/minds-business/what-service-with-a-smile-means-for-employee-well-being.html. ‌ Grandey, A.A., Fisk, G.M. and Steiner, D.D. (2005). Must ‘Service With a Smile’ Be Stressful? The Moderating Role of Personal Control for American and French Employees.. Journal of Applied Psychology , 90(5), pp.893–904. doi:10.1037/0021-9010.90.5.893. Kim, E. and Yoon, D.J. (2012). Why does service with a smile make employees happy? A social interaction model. Journal of Applied Psychology , 97(5), pp.1059–1067. doi:10.1037/a0029327. ‌ Perminiene, M. (n.d.). Do you expect service with a smile? There’s a dark side to putting on a happy face . [online] The Conversation. Available at: https://theconversation.com/do-you-expect-service-with-a-smile-theres-a-dark-side-to-putting-on-a-happy-face-81464 [Accessed 18 Oct. 2021]. ‌ Hülsheger, U.R. and Schewe, A.F. (2011). On the costs and benefits of emotional labor: A meta-analysis of three decades of research. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology , 16(3), pp.361–389. doi:10.1037/a0022876. ‌ Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56 (3), 218–226. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3122271/ If you have been forwarded this email please click here to sign up to my blog