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"I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood." Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood by Nina Simone ( Click here for the song) www.magnific.com “I know I was correct in hiring Sally, and I know her international role is challenging, especially as she is not in Australia; however, I'm getting complaints from her staff, and she’s not performing to her full potential.” Manager of coaching client Many of my coaching referrals focus on building clients’ self‑awareness, and I’m often fortunate to have budget for psychological assessments. In this case, I administered the Hogan 360, a reliable, valid, evidence‑based measure of leadership capability across four key domains: Self‑Management, Relationship Management, Working in the Business, and Working on the Business. The varied perspectives on my client’s behaviour opened a valuable discussion. A clear gap emerged between how she saw herself and how others saw her. Sally was hired for her potential as a transformational leader. She was motivated, capable, and aware of the inherent challenges of her role. The 360 revealed the breadth and depth of the negative perceptions among colleagues and direct reports in the Australian head office. Regular readers know that such poor congruity between self‑ratings and other ratings of leadership can be a serious problem. Without feedback, leaders typically continue to make the same mistakes and remain unaware of the harm they may be causing. Sadly, researchers have found that the very weak relationship between leadership intention and leadership impact is rather common. Leadership, Emotion, and Influence Transformational leadership is one of the most studied leadership styles, and researchers have found that it improves employee performance, motivation, and discretionary effort. Regular readers know that transformational leaders exhibit the following four primary behaviours: inspirational motivation, idealised influence, intellectual stimulation, and individualised consideration. Transformational leaders communicate enthusiasm and vision, have a positive outlook, use intuitive insight, and exhibit emotional competency. Researchers have also found that authentic transformational leadership has a strong ethical and moral foundation. Because leadership is an interactive experience, understanding and managing emotions is central to leadership effectiveness. According to Affective Events Theory, the behaviour and mood of the leader trigger emotional responses that influence outcomes for employees and teams. Researchers have found that employees who experience positive moods are more likely to offer positive evaluations of their leaders. Sadly, the converse applies and is typically more prevalent. Regular readers know that many workplaces are characterised by constant change, job uncertainty, and workplace burnout. Researchers have found that this exacerbation of the emotional state of the employees often increases the likelihood of negative perceptions of the leaders’ behaviour. “In particular, our findings show how understanding and managing emotions is a central part of leadership effectiveness.” Mindeguia R, Aritzeta A, Garmendia A, Olarza A. Researchers have found that Emotional Intelligence can reduce the impact of negative emotions. When transformational leaders strengthen their emotional intelligence, they increase the likelihood that their goals and intentions are expressed and interpreted accurately. The Effort and Impact mismatch Leaders often confuse effort with impact. They judge improvement by how hard something feels or how long it takes. For example, when initiating a difficult conversation, the leader remembers pushing through discomfort and speaking up when silence would be easier. What people remember is the impact of the interaction: whether the leader stayed calm, listened, believed them and moved things forward. Similarly, attending numerous meetings to better understand context may feel productive to the leader, but staff can experience it as unavailability or exclusion, reinforcing a perception that the boss is self‑serving. Leaders often judge themselves by their intentions, while teams judge leaders by their impact. This gap occurs because leaders hold the full context and rationale behind their actions, while employees interpret behaviour through their own experiences, assumptions and emotional state. When positive intent leads to negative impact, leaders often explain or defend their intention, which can unintentionally minimise the employee’s experience. Research has demonstrated that when interactions consistently feel undermining, psychological safety deteriorates even if the leader’s goal was to be helpful or efficient. Employees also make sense of a leader’s behaviour through the history of the relationship, situational norms and the leader’s personality. Research has shown that employees form attributions about a leader’s motives, and these interpretations shape whether behaviour is seen as sincere, supportive or self‑serving. High‑quality leader–member relationships are associated with stronger performance, satisfaction, commitment, role clarity and lower turnover intentions. Research has demonstrated that exemplary leaders maintain strong relationships across all stakeholders, including employees. Behavioural Integrity and Sensemaking Behavioural integrity is an observer’s perception of the extent to which a person’s words and actions align. It is an ascribed trait: does the boss enact the same values they espouse, and do they keep their promises? Researchers have found that even though all employees logically know that there can be multiple factors impacting a situation, they often judge their boss’s behaviour by observing if they are doing what they said they would do. Employees always try to make sense of situations. Researchers have found that emotion, cognition, words, and behaviour all play roles in the sensemaking process, and thus it is challenging for the leader to ensure a shared view of their behaviour. Regular readers know that employees talk to colleagues to interpret ambiguous or troublesome behaviour. Researchers have found that when sensemaking takes place in conversations between people, it is generated iteratively as individuals shape each other’s meanings. These conversations can reinforce constructive interpretations or escalate misunderstandings. Peer sensemaking often determines whether an incident becomes “a moment” or “a pattern.” Unfortunately, this interactive process is often dominated by influential individuals who persuade others to think as they do. “Specifically, when a leader attempts to influence his or her members, can the members discern if she or he is acting sincerely for the benefit of the organization and its employees? Or is the leader acting manipulatively to achieve egocentric personal goals?” Dasborough, M.T. and Ashkanasy The Role of the Employee Employees do not interpret a leader’s behaviour objectively. Perceptions are shaped by emotions, past experiences, and cognitive biases. Excitation‑transfer theory suggests that emotions do not always stop when the event that triggered them ends. Residual feelings can spill over into the next interaction, leading employees to react more strongly than the situation alone would warrant. A leader’s neutral comment, for example, may be interpreted negatively simply because the employee was already stressed, frustrated or emotionally activated. Stress, fatigue, insecurity, previous negative experiences and the pressures of the day can all heighten sensitivity to a leader’s tone, timing or choice of words. Consequently, the impact of a leader’s behaviour is influenced not only by what the leader says or does, but also by the employee’s internal psychological state. Employees make sense of a leader’s behaviour by inferring motives. If they believe the leader acted with care, they interpret the behaviour generously. If they infer self‑interest or disregard, the same behaviour feels undermining. Researchers have found that these attributions drive emotional reactions more than the leader’s stated intent. Employees carry expectations about how leaders “should” behave. When a leader’s behaviour violates those expectations, even unintentionally, employees experience a stronger negative impact. Research has demonstrated that expectation violations are a major driver of perceived disrespect. Employees can contribute to closing the gap by signalling how behaviour landed. When employees provide timely, specific feedback, leaders can adjust. When they remain silent, leaders often assume their intent was clear. Employees who have a strong, trusting relationship with a leader interpret behaviour more generously. Those with weaker relationships interpret behaviour more defensively. Trust acts as a buffer or amplifier. Practical Implications for Leaders Dyadic work relationships are highly sensitive to mistakes, and researchers have found that authoritarian leaders need to be particularly careful about the interpretation of routine behaviours. Whilst severe behaviours such as humiliation or threats are especially likely to be interpreted as harmful, all leaders should avoid creating the impression that their actions are intended to cause deliberate injury. When authoritarian behaviours unintentionally violate interpersonal norms, timely acknowledgment can support forgiveness. Researchers have shown that offering explanations, recognising potential harm and showing genuine concern after a transgression encourage more constructive attributions and increase forgiveness, strengthening leader–follower relationships. Leaders often operate under significant performance pressure from senior management, and explaining these pressures can reduce injury‑initiation attributions and increase performance‑promotion attributions, both associated with higher levels of forgiveness. So what about my client? Uncovering her blind spots and discussing them with her supportive leader enabled her to commit to practical changes in her behaviour. She recognised the need to invest more time and energy in strengthening relationships with her staff and colleagues in Australia. It will be interesting in our next session to hear about the impact of these changes. Readers challenge: Please click here and email me an example of a recent leadership moment where your intention and the impact didn’t quite match, either as the leader or as the recipient. To subscribe to my blog, please click https://www.balkincoaching.com.au/leadership-blo To set up a meeting with me, please click https://calendarbridge.com/book/tamarbalkin/ References: Dasborough, M.T. and Ashkanasy, N.M. (2002) ‘Emotion and attribution of intentionality in leader–member relationships’, The Leadership Quarterly, 13(5), pp. 615–634. Inzlicht, M., Campbell, A.V. and Saunders, B. (2025) ‘Effort paradox redux: Rethinking how effort shapes social behavior’, in Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, vol. 72, pp. 1–55. Academic Press. Karakitapoglu-Aygun, Z., Ozturk, E.B. and Emirza, S. (2026) ‘When and how do employees forgive the transgressions by authoritarian leaders? The mediating role of attributions and the moderating role of severity’, Journal of Managerial Psychology, ahead-of-print. Maitlis, S. and Christianson, M. (2014) ‘Sensemaking in organizations: Taking stock and moving forward’, The Academy of Management Annals, 8(1), pp. 57–125. Mindeguia, R., Aritzeta, A., Garmendia, A. and Olarza, A. (2025) ‘From intention to perception: Emotional processes as a link between intended and perceived leadership styles’, Frontiers in Psychology, 16, 1526797. Simons, T., Leroy, H. and Nishii, L. (2022) ‘Revisiting Behavioral Integrity: Progress and New Directions After 20 Years’, Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 9, pp. 365–389.

“And I want to thank you For giving me the best day of my life Oh, just to be with you Is having the best day of my life” Thank You by Dido. (Click here for the song) Designed by Freepik   www.freepik.com What is gratitude? Researchers have found it difficult to define gratitude. It has been described as an emotion, an attitude, a moral virtue, a habit, a personality trait, and a coping response. It relates to personality as well as to subjective and moral well‑being. Gratitude is both a trait, a general tendency to appreciate others, and a state, the feeling of thankfulness in a specific moment. These displays of character strengths are often powerful enough to evoke a strong emotional response, like chills or warm feelings in the chest. Isn’t gratitude just reciprocal altruism? Recent research has demonstrated that gratitude does more than prompt someone to return a favour. It also brings people closer. According to the Find‑Remind‑And‑Bind Theory, gratitude supports reciprocal helping, and it strengthens bonds. It shifts relationships from simple exchanges to more communal ones. Studies consistently find that people feel both the urge to repay kindness and the desire to deepen the connection. Researchers have also found that simply witnessing good deeds can create a warm and uplifting feeling that motivates people to act kindly themselves. Even when the benefactor isn’t present, gratitude can guide someone toward others who contribute to the community, helping new relationships form. Interestingly, researchers have found that when it is impossible to directly repay or interact with the benefactor, gratitude recipients are still motivated and will undertake pro-social behaviour towards others.    The Impact of gratitude in the workplace To understand gratitude more fully, it helps to look at the broader family of emotions that arise when we witness excellence, kindness, or strength in others. Researchers describe three distinct responses, elevation, admiration, and gratitude, each shaping our motivation and relationships in different ways. Elevation  arises when we observe moral excellence that doesn’t directly benefit us. It creates a sense of warmth, openness, and a desire to act kindly. This emotion is calmer and often accompanied by a physical “warmth in the chest,” sometimes linked to oxytocin release, which supports trust and reduces stress. Admiration  is sparked by witnessing skill, talent, or perseverance. Rather than soothing us, it energises and motivates personal growth. Gratitude , however, is unique. It emerges when someone’s excellence is directed toward us. It strengthens closeness, encourages reciprocity, and deepens relationships. While these emotions may not always lead to immediate behaviour change, they shift how people think, feel, and relate to others. As  Sara B. Algoe and Jonathan Haidt explain, “Elevation, gratitude, and admiration are not just flavours of happiness.” They are catalysts for better relationships, better behaviour, and better communities. Benefits of Gratitude For Employees ·       Lower burnout ·       Higher job satisfaction ·       Greater emotional well‑being for both the giver and the receiver ·       Better workplace relationships ·       More autonomous motivation at work ·       Improved task performance ·       Greater humility ·       Increased patience ·       Stronger feelings of embeddedness in the organisation ·       Reduced turnover intentions ·       Higher overall satisfaction with one’s job For Workplace Culture & Teams ·       Stronger sense of connectedness among employees ·       Greater cohesion within teams ·       More helping behaviour across the organisation and towards stakeholders ·       Better customer ratings of employees ·       Reduced antisocial behaviours, including incivility and ostracism ·       Reduced competitiveness and fewer unethical behaviours ·       More prosocial motivation ·       Energising effects for leaders ·       Affiliative behaviour even among observers of gratitude ·       Wider circles of connection “When expressing gratitude, people avoid pessimism, unhappiness, complaints of malaise and pain, toxic emotions such as anger, hurt, and fear, feelings of loneliness, isolation, and lack of engagement. A grateful individual focuses on positive practices of solidarity and attention to others and gains a sense of well-being in return.”   Diniz G, Korkes L, Tristão LS, Pelegrini R, Bellodi PL, Bernardo WM Practical things a leader can do: Researchers have found that small moments of gratitude accumulate and matter. Leaders who consistently show responsiveness, notice needs, offer support without expecting anything in return, and act with integrity create the conditions for gratitude, elevation, and admiration to grow. These emotions strengthen teams, deepen trust, and inspire people to be their best. In a study of an organisation under extreme stress, employees described the following leader behaviours as expressions of gratitude: • Management and colleagues showed care and support during a difficult time • Management demonstrated understanding and removed barriers so people could succeed  • Small acts of support from leaders were noticed and appreciated Genuine gratitude from leaders reinforces upward spirals of mutually responsive behaviour, placing everyday gratitude at the heart of strong relationships. Researchers found that when an observer witnesses gratitude for benefits perceived as legitimised, the expression signals that support is governed by clear rules rather than favouritism.   A word of caution Researchers found that when an employee has an abusive leader, showing appreciation may have a detrimental effect because it leads the employee to tolerate a situation they should not otherwise accept, and thus, in this instance, gratitude is deemed inappropriate and excessive. Researchers have found that when gratitude is used incorrectly, it may cause more harm than good. When gratitude is expressed for benefits perceived as discretionary, it signals that resource access is contingent on idiosyncratic relational favour, inherently unattainable for some employees.  It is under these specific conditions that gratitude acts as “salt in the wound,” transforming a social signal into a threat to self-esteem. Sadly, many organisations are characterised by unequal access to supervisors, differential task visibility, and increasing reliance on discretionary recognition systems. There is ambiguity around resource allocation and reward, and recognition policies. Hierarchical power dynamics amplify the symbolic impact of gratitude, with expressions from high-power actors more likely to trigger perceptions of favouritism in stratified contexts.   In this context, gratitude is likely to be a sign of preferential treatment, not communal strength. So what about my client? My client decided to follow his boss’s example and look for opportunities to express gratitude and to encourage others to do so. Readers challenge: Please email me some examples of when you’ve expressed or received appropriate gratitude at work. A note of thanks: Last week I had the privilege of meeting some of my readers, and it reminded me just how much support and encouragement I’ve received over the years. I can’t fully express my appreciation for every like, share, email open, and direct feedback I receive.  I’m genuinely grateful for the way you, my readers, continue to engage with my work and inspire me to continue to write.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you. To subscribe to my blog, please click here :   https://www.balkincoaching.com.au/leadership-blog To set up a meeting with me, please click   here :   https://calendarbridge.com/book/tamarbalkin/ ---------------------------------- References: Algoe SB, Haidt J. Witnessing excellence in action: the 'other-praising' emotions of elevation, gratitude, and admiration. J Posit Psychol. 2009;4(2):105-127. doi: 10.1080/17439760802650519. PMID: 19495425; PMCID: PMC2689844.   Algoe, S.B. (2012), Find, Remind, and Bind: The Functions of Gratitude in Everyday Relationships. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 6: 455-469.   https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2012.00439 . Shen, J., Zhang, B., & Huang, W. (2026). Commentary on Hong and Thoroughgood (2025): Gratitude as Mirror, Not Salt: Re-Centering Legitimacy and Structure in the Study of Witnessed Workplace Gratitude. Group & Organization Management, 0(0). Diniz G, Korkes L, Tristão LS, Pelegrini R, Bellodi PL, Bernardo WM. The effects of gratitude interventions: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Einstein (Sao Paulo). 2023 Aug 11;21:eRW0371. doi: 10.31744/einstein_journal/2023RW0371. PMID: 37585888; PMCID: PMC10393216.   Elena-Gabriela Nicuță, Cristian Opariuc-Dan, Diaconu-Gherasim, L.R. and Constantin, T. (2025). Linking trait gratitude to employees’ performance and work motivation: A two-wave longitudinal study. Personality and Individual Differences, 246, pp.113310–113310. doi: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2025.113310 .   ‌Sekaja L, Tully CA, Mahlangu S, de Freitas K, Tyelbooi LN, Mjojeli BPL, Mokhethi ME, Mabitsela T. Thankful employees: The manifestation of gratitude at work during a pandemic in South Africa. Front Psychol. 2022 Jul 22;13:941787. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2022.941787. PMID: 35936248; PMCID: PMC9353733. Fehr, R., Heng, Y.T. and Fulmer, A. (2025). The Psychology of Gratitude: Implications for Organizations. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior. doi: https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-orgpsych-031424-094816 .

"Quiet please, there's a lady on stage She may not be the latest rage But she's singing and she means it And she deserves a little silence Quiet please, there's a woman up there And she's been honest through her songs Long before your consciousnes s was raised Now doesn't that deserve a little praise" Quiet Please, There's A Lady On Stage by Peter Allen (Click here for the song) Designed by Freepik   www.freepik.com   “I had a crazy week. Our CFO gave a two-minute update in the exec meeting, but no one had any idea what he was talking about. There was no context. And then Bill just started talking, it was ridiculous, he had nothing of value to add and then no one could ask any questions.”    Coaching client Regular readers know that, irrespective of whether the formal structure is between a manager and a subordinate, between two subordinates, or some other permutation, collaboration is key to success in organisations. This logically requires excellent communication skills, which are severely lacking in many organisations.   Where Workplace Conversation Breaks Down Compulsive talkers Some individuals chronically overtalk. They dominate conversations, ignore cues, repeat stories, and show little awareness of their impact. This “talkaholism” frustrates colleagues, slows progress, and often leads to social avoidance. Researchers have found that some highly talkative individuals are compulsive talkers who struggle with effective communication. They speak far more than others want to hear, often say little of substance, and are unaware of how their behaviour affects those around them. They tend to talk at people rather than with them. This pattern has been described as “talkaholism” , similar to terms like workaholic or chocoholic . Although others usually recognise the behaviour as problematic, “talkaholics” themselves rarely do. Chat GPT generated. Unproductive talkers Others contribute in ways that derail rather than advance discussion, such as irrelevant comments, personal attacks, or speaking only to allies who cannot act. These behaviours consume time, reduce candour, and disrupt focus. The impact is predictable: irritation, delays, and reduced productivity. Teams often work more efficiently when the overtalker is absent. However, remote work adds complexity, and under communication is often penalised more than over communication, because frequent updates signal engagement. Silence    Researchers have found that although silence can occasionally be constructive, for example, giving others space to learn, it is usually harmful. It undermines decision quality, creativity, and ethical behaviour, and deprives organisations of vital information. To better understand the complexity of silence, researchers have categorised it into:  Acquiescent silence :  resignation (“my input won’t matter”).  Defensive silence : self-protection (“speaking up is risky”) Researchers have identified the following reasons why people may withhold information Anxiety or fear of consequences Low psychological safety, especially across power, race, or gender lines Concern about appearing incompetent Belief that speaking up won’t matter Desire to avoid conflict or protect others Talking too little Communication problems also arise when people speak  too little  within a message. Ambiguous responses are common when the truth would be uncomfortable or when information is incomplete, such as early in a crisis. Regular readers know that this is exactly when communication is vital. However, ambiguity can make people appear less warm, less likable, and more cautious, and it shifts the cognitive burden to the listeners. Input bias: a troublesome phenomenon in conversations Researchers have found that people confuse time spent with value created. This leads employees to over‑signal effort, long hours, excessive updates, even when the extra input adds no real value. People confuse time spent with value created. Researchers have found that people automatically link the amount of input with the quality of the output, even when they recognise that the extra input is irrelevant or even problematic.  This strange phenomenon leads to all sorts of bizarre behaviour, including employees spending long hours in the office and sending lots of updates via email, all to create the perception of high productivity. In addition, researchers found that when a boss is told that an employee took more time to produce a document, they rated it more favourably. This occurred even in a context where time efficiency was critical. What’s really happening in workplace conversations? Research suggests that, unfortunately, many workplace interactions lean toward the less productive end of the communication spectrum, particularly: Withholding , holding back ideas, concerns, or feedback and Disrupting, interrupting, dominating, or derailing discussion. To improve collaboration and psychological safety, leaders need to encourage  Productive communication, namely: Contributing , adding relevant ideas, insight, and value and Processing , active, thoughtful listening that builds understanding. “ Anyone who has worked in a company with more than one employee has experienced the frustration and prevalence of problematic conversations, especially in formal meetings.” Edmonson and Besieux What can leaders do? To improve communication in teams, researchers have found that productive engagement, contributing and processing should be strengthened, and counterproductive behaviours like withholding or disrupting should be minimised. To make these changes normal habits or ways of interacting, they need to be reinforced and practised by leaders in all communication settings. To strengthen a culture where people feel able to speak up at work, researchers have found that leaders benefit from adopting a stance of humility and curiosity, particularly in the context of change. Humility can be demonstrated through openly acknowledging the need for others’ perspectives, while curiosity is expressed through thoughtful questions that draw people into deeper thinking. Together, these behaviours signal that contributions are genuinely wanted, lowering the interpersonal risk of speaking and making it more likely that employees will voice ideas, concerns, and insights. Intentional silence and pauses Researchers have found that people need time to process what’s being said and to adopt another’s perspective instead of rushing to assert opinions or interrupt. Processing is active listening aimed at understanding while remaining mentally engaged in silence; a small cognitive distance can help work through implications. This productive silence prevents people from talking past one another and enables conversations to move forward, sometimes in unexpectedly valuable directions. Teams that develop these conversational skills are better able to give full attention and assume others are likewise engaged. Reduce disruption In addition, leaders have the responsibility to reduce disruption. Disruption manifests in many ways in the workplace and includes thoughtless utterances, where the speaker could have, but did not, consider the impact on others of what they were saying, and how they were saying it. What about listening? A recent literature review found that poor listening does more than reduce employees’ willingness to speak up about critical issues. It can also contribute to turnover, burnout, job dissatisfaction, and lower organisational commitment. In contrast, high-quality listening strengthens relationships and supports better outcomes for both individuals and organisations.    Researchers have shown that defining listening solely as being attentive and responsive during a single conversation is incomplete. Speakers reported feeling heard only when listeners not only attended carefully in the moment but also followed through with the actions they expected. When attentive listening was not matched by subsequent behaviour, speakers experienced it as not being heard https://chatgpt.com/c/699e9d51-82b8-8321-801d-364a1ca4d82c What can individuals do? Employees can also contribute to communication breakdowns, not just leaders. Researchers have found that one significant barrier arises from employees’ attitudes toward authority. When individuals hold psychological resistance to authority in general, or to specific authority figures, they are less willing to listen, follow instructions, or share their perspectives. This resistance becomes a meaningful obstacle to effective professional communication. So what about my client? My client decided to observe and identify opportunities to model correct communication. Readers challenge: Please click here and email me some politely assertive hacks you have considered that will improve communication in your workplace. Please click  here  if you would like to read my past leadership insights .    To subscribe to my blog, please click here :  https://www.balkincoaching.com.au/leadership-blog To set up a meeting with me, please click here : https://calendarbridge.com/book/tamarbalkin/ References: Alderfer, C. P. (1977). Improving organizational communication through long-term intergroup intervention. The Journal of Applied Behavioral Science, 13(2), 193–210. https://doi.org/10.1177/002188637701300207   Amy C. Edmondson, & Besieux, T. (2021). Reflections: Voice and silence in workplace conversations. Journal of Change Management, 21(3), 269–286. https://doi.org/10.1080/14697017.2021.1928910 ( doi.org in Bing)   Asselineau, A., Grolleau, G., & Mzoughi, N. (2024). Quiet environments and the intentional practice of silence: Toward a new perspective in the analysis of silence in organizations. Industrial and Organizational Psychology, 17(3), 326–340. https://doi.org/10.1017/iop.2024.9   Association for Psychological Science. (n.d.). Under time pressure, people tell us what we want to hear. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/under-time-pressure-people-tell-us-what-we-want-to-hear.html   Berg, A. K., & Kauffeld, S. (2024). Proactive verbal behavior in team meetings: Effects of supportive and critical responses on satisfaction and performance. Current Psychology, 43, 20640–20654. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-024-05806   Chinander, K. R., & Schweitzer, M. E. (2003). The input bias: The misuse of input information in judgments of outcomes. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 91(2), 243–253. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0749-5978(03)00025-6   Detert, J. R., & Edmondson, A. C. (2011). Implicit voice theories: Taken-for-granted rules of self-censorship at work. Academy of Management Journal, 54(3), 461–488. https://doi.org/10.5465/amj.2011.61967925   Kriz TD, Kluger AN and Lyddy CJ (2021) Feeling Heard: Experiences of Listening (or Not) at Work. Front. Psychol. 12:659087. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2021.659087   May Busch. (n.d.). How to keep your boss updated. https://maybusch.com/keep-boss-updated   Parker, S. K., Wang, Y., & Liao, J. (2019). When is proactivity wise? A review of factors that influence the individual outcomes of proactive behavior. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 6, 221–248. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-orgpsych-012218-015302 Protzko, J., Zedelius, C. M., & Schooler, J. W. (2019). Rushing to appear virtuous: Time pressure increases socially desirable responding. Psychological Science, 30(11), 1584–1591. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797619867939 Psychology Today. (2018). Verbosity. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/how-to-do-life/201808/verbosity   Yang, J., Wang, B., Liao, Y., Yang, F., & Qian, J. (2025). Silence as a quiet strategy: Understanding the consequences of workplace ostracism through the lens of sociometer theory. Behavioral Sciences, 15(8), 1022. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs15081022

“It wasn’t until I heard her story that I understood her behaviour. She kept leaving the open office to take phone calls, and she never attended social events. I thought she was rude, a snob, or perhaps shy. I had no idea she was struggling with the profound anxiety, grief, and physical distress that comes with failing IVF and associated fertility issues."   Coaching client Personal Photo. R U OK, Blue Trees and the Conversations That Matter Last year, I had the pleasure of a long, beautiful road trip up the WA coast from Perth to Exmouth. We swam with dolphins, sea lions, manta rays, and turtles, and the water was the most magnificent shade of blue I’ve ever seen. Along the way, we noticed something unusual: blue trees. We paused by the side of the road and took photos. My curiosity led me to discover the  Blue Tree Project , an initiative that began in 2019 after the tragic loss of Jayden Whyte, a much-loved son, brother, and friend, to suicide. As we continued on our drive, these painted blue trees sparked countless conversations about mental health, stigma, and support. Why Do I Write About R U OK Day Every Year?  Every year, around R U OK Day, I feel a responsibility to write a blog. And every year, I feel sad that the stigma, discomfort, and ignorance around mental illness still prevail.  This year, I decided to direct you to sources of support and to consider how you would remind yourself of the importance of talking about mental health. Sources of Information:  The  R U OK  organisation continues to produce valuable material on its website.  https://www.ruok.org.au/   Rather than repeat the messages, here are links to my  past R U OK day blogs : How to actually talk about mental health in life and work .  If you only have time to read one blog, this one has a step-by-step outline of how to have an R U OK conversation. The power of connection : research shows 72% of people feel better about themselves and their situation after talking to someone about their concerns. What it really means to listen as a leader . Mental illness hiding in plain sight . How some people appear highly successful while experiencing deep struggles. The importance of noticing small changes . What happens after you ask “R U OK?” .  The 4 steps of an R U OK? conversation (ALEC) As portrayed in the video above, you don't need to be an expert to have an R U OK conversation. Nala at work  This week, Nala will be volunteering through  Delta Therapy Dogs . She’ll be visiting a corporate office, where her calm and gentle nature provides a much-needed pause in the day. In high-pressure environments, time with Nala helps reduce stress, boost morale, and create space for people to breathe. Sometimes, the simplest moments of connection can make the biggest difference. Nala's official volunteering photo, courtesy of Delta Therapy Dogs Practising the Conversation  If you want to practice a conversation, debrief after a meeting, or brainstorm an ongoing concern, just click  here  and book a time for a free chat. If you would like Nala to join in and it's practical, please let me know. My clients often tell me how valuable it is to have a conversation space with an independent professional, with expertise in the complexities of human behaviour in the workplace.  What are your daily responsibilities?  Creating environments in life and work where people can flourish.  Notice a change in someone's behaviour and encourage them to get help. Notice your own emotional state, and seek support when needed. Australian Sources of Help In an emergency:  Call 000 Mental Health Crisis Team:  1800 011 511 (24 hours) Your GP:  They play an important role in coordinating care Clinical Psychologists  and other mental health professionals A Visual Reminder  Regular readers will know how powerful a visual prompt can be in supporting long-term behaviour change. For some, the Blue Trees are symbols that invite us to notice, to listen, to ask, and to give and receive mental health support.  Click  here  to email me and share what visual prompt will remind you to pause, notice, and ask: R U OK? What about my client?  As the session ended, my client reflected: “I read your blogs, I explore my self-awareness in coaching, and as we discussed today, it is my responsibility to reach out to make the effort to connect. To be supportive and respectful. There’s a delicate balance between knowing enough to help and protecting someone’s privacy.  Ultimately, I have realised that it is  all about relationships and personal connection” As always, please  email  me if you or anyone in your network would benefit from coaching.  If you want to lock in a time for a catch-up up please head to  my CalendarBridge by clicking  here :  https://www.calendarbridge.com/book/jotPVTT   If you would like to subscribe to my blog, click  here.     Please click  here to read my past blogs.

“But there you give me one, another you just finished You're my library, always open for business But you never show it, you're just sitting with it.. Line after line, when you're taking it in” Book Club by Arkells (Click here for the song) Personal photo of Nala contemplating her novel, The Whale’s Last Song by Joanne Fedler (click  here  for a summary of this beautiful novel). "I know I need to prioritise leisure activities, particularly reading fiction. But fiction is indulgent and overly time-consuming. There is so much else I need to read to keep ahead in my career."   Coaching client     In my coaching work, I often emphasise the importance of wellbeing non-negotiables, the practices that sustain my clients when life becomes busy. Recently, while listening to a podcast, I was reminded of the well-being benefits of reading. Regular readers know that when basic psychological needs are compromised due to lack of freedom, fulfilment and overwork, people feel controlled, incompetent, or isolated. Fortunately, researchers have found that reading for leisure fosters autonomy, competence, and social connection, reducing the likelihood of negative psychological outcomes even in stressful circumstances.   What are the benefits of reading fiction?   “Books invite us to feel unfamiliar feelings and think alien thoughts. They train us in empathy and make us feel less lonely. They help us to discover what we believe, what we value, and what we never imagined.”  Shilo Brooks   Psychologists have found that reading fiction enhances well-being and cultivates leadership capabilities. Whilst many people read for enjoyment, researchers have found that it has many mental health benefits. Reading reduces stress and anxiety, creates a quiet space for focus, and promotes mindfulness. Regular readers know that the simple act of sitting down with a book can lower stress and produce a mild feeling of joy and contentment.   There is much evidence to indicate that reading fiction improves empathy. Deep immersion in literary fiction broadens the reader’s perspective and enables consideration of others’ viewpoints. Researchers explain that this experience enhances an individual’s Theory Of Mind,  that is, their ability to understand that others hold beliefs and desires different from one’s own.   Most novels contain complexity, characters are flawed, choices are difficult, and outcomes are unpredictable. Fictional scenarios tend to reflect the interpersonal challenges leaders face daily.   Research shows that reading about how complex interpersonal situations are resolved, and the implications that follow, gives leaders a safe way to observe decision‑making, reflect on motives and trade‑offs, and apply these insights to similar challenges in the workplace.   Leaders often face situations without clear answers, and fiction trains the reader to tolerate uncertainty. By immersing oneself in narratives where endings are not obvious, the reader practices cognitive flexibility, improves their self-awareness and their complex decision-making skills. Research in psychology suggests that reading fiction can enhance social‑cognitive abilities. Literary fiction strengthens social cognition because it requires the reader to construct social contexts mentally. Thus, the ability to experience realities beyond the here and now, including hypothetical events, distant worlds and other people’s subjective experiences, translates into measurable improvements in social cognition.   Psychologists and researchers emphasise that every powerful leader, at heart, must also be a skilled storyteller. Fiction does more than entertain; it teaches us how to feel and express narratives. By engaging with fiction, readers refine their communication style, learning pacing, tone, and the art of conveying vision. This practice equips leaders to rally teams, navigate difficult conversations, and inspire collective purpose.   How Does Reading make a difference? “We can think of mindful reading in the way we think of mindful breathing, which is just focusing on your breath. Normally, when we breathe, we don’t think about it because it’s automatic. Traditional reading can be that way too; to get to the destination of finishing that book. Try to slow that down and be aware of the process actually involved in reading.” Dr. Samantha Henry Typically, when we read, we try to get through a book or article either to learn something or simply to find out what happens next. In contrast, researchers suggest that the most beneficial form of reading is  mindful reading . This approach focuses on the act of reading itself, with no destination or goal other than being fully present and attentive to the text.   Mindful reading requires practice. It involves more than just passive skimming or multitasking, and instead, the reader engages consciously with the words. By slowing down, removing distractions, and adopting a non-judgmental attitude, readers gain a deeper understanding and richer emotional benefits.   Mindful reading is also a way of respecting the author’s hard work; they definitely agonised over every word, phrase, and idea.   Literary fiction enables the reader to delve more deeply into the private inner thoughts and motivations of characters. These books tend to have a slower pace, allowing the reader to linger on the language, atmosphere, and explore more profound thoughts and themes.   Researchers found that when readers take time with literary fiction and pay close attention, they imagine the setting and characters vividly. Psychologists call this ability to be mentally carried into the story,  transportation .  When transported, readers report feelings of warmth and compassion, which translates to helping tendencies. Engagement with fictional characters mirrors the processes by which we infer the mental states of real people. Regular readers know the feeling of crying alongside a character or grieving their loss. That connection facilitates our understanding of social information in a simplified, compelling way. Fiction simulates real social interactions, giving us a chance to connect with people who are different from us, broadening our capacity for empathy and social inference.   In addition, deep immersion in fictional worlds, discussing books with others, and reflecting on stories can improve mood, enhance well-being, and reduce distress.   Researchers have found that the benefits of reading are dependent on both lifetime exposure to fiction and the extent to which a reader feels  transported  by a narrative.   “Recreational reading, also referred to as volitional reading, or leisure reading, is defined as the voluntary choice to read preferred books during one’s free-time.” Levine, S. L., Cherrier, S., Holding, A. C., & Koestner, R. (2022)     The evidence suggests that the benefits of reading depend on autonomy. When reading is pursued for personal interest, joy, or meaning, it fosters well-being and resilience. Regular readers know that individuals who are driven by personal interest, intrinsic enjoyment, or a sense of meaning tend to make greater progress toward their goals. Thus, when reading is pursued for pleasure, self-development, or personal satisfaction, it will be self-perpetuating and improve well-being. The pleasure of fiction is unique to each individual. What fascinates one person may bore another. The key is cultivating autonomy, choosing books that resonate personally and engaging with them mindfully.   Although the short-term impact of leisure reading may be modest, researchers have found that consistent engagement accumulates. Reading one book a month can, over a year, produce meaningful improvements in mental health. This pattern extends to other self-care activities like yoga or meditation: each small dose matters, but regular practice creates powerful effects. Researchers have found that when reading becomes a habit, its cumulative impact on wellbeing and leadership is profound.   So what about my client?   During the coaching session, it became clear that the client had overcome a major obstacle at work and recognised the need to pause and acknowledge his accomplishment. As is often the case in these circumstances, I encouraged him to reward himself with an enjoyable leisure activity he hadn’t undertaken for some time. He reflected and said,  “I’m going to sit in my favourite chair and read the novel that has been collecting dust on my shelf for six months. I know once I start, I just won’t stop.”     Readers Challenge: I challenge you to take the time to read a novel, slow down, savour the prose, and allow yourself to ponder the language. As an avid reader, I wanted to share with you some books I have read recently that highlight the power of reading, and I hope will inspire the non-readers to delve into the transformative world of fiction. The Air Raid Book Club , Annie Lyons The Bogan Book Club , John Larkin The Last Bookshop in London , Madeline Martin The Little Wartime Library , Kate Thompson The Wartime Book Club , Kate Thompson 84 Charing Cross Road , Helene Hanff The Librarians of Rue de Picardie , Janet Skeslien Charles The Paris Library , Janet Skeslien Charles I’m always open to book recommendations, so take a moment, click  here  and email me your favourite novels of 2025.   Special thanks:   Huge thanks to Bari Weiss and Shilo Brooks for the interview that sparked this post  (click  here  to listen) . And to my book club, for our monthly catch‑ups where we laugh, chat, and nurture our shared love of novels.   ----------------------------------- References: Bone, J. K., et al. (2025). The decline in reading for pleasure over 20 years of the American Time Use Survey.  iScience, 28 (9), 113288.  https://doi.org/10.1016/j.isci.2025.113288   Bookish Brews. (2022, May 29). Benefits of reading fiction: 7 studies that encourage reading.  Bookish Brews .  https://bookishbrews.com/the-benefits-of-reading/   Dowrick, C., Billington, J., Robinson, J., Hamer, A., & Williams, C. (2012). Get into Reading as an intervention for common mental health problems: Exploring catalysts for change.  Medical Humanities, 38 (1), 15–20.  https://doi.org/10.1136/medhum-2011-010083   Levine, S. L., Cherrier, S., Holding, A. C., & Koestner, R. (2022). For the love of reading: Recreational reading reduces psychological distress in college students and autonomous motivation is the key.  Journal of American College Health ,  70 (1), 158–164.  https://doi.org/10.1080/07448481.2020.1728280   Marshall, R. (2020). Reading fiction: The benefits are numerous.  British Journal of General Practice, 70 (691), 79.  https://doi.org/10.3399/bjgp20X707945   Mar, R. A., & Oatley, K. (2008). The function of fiction is the abstraction and simulation of social experience.  Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3 (3), 173–192.  https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6924.2008.00073 .   Panero, M. E., Weisberg, D. S., Black, J., Goldstein, T. R., Barnes, J. L., Brownell, H., & Winner, E. (2016). Does reading a single passage of literary fiction really improve theory of mind? An attempt at replication.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology . Advance online publication.  https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000064   Stansfield, J., & Bunce, L. (2014). The relationship between empathy and reading fiction: Separate roles for cognitive and affective components.  Journal of European Psychology Students, 5 (3), 9–18.  https://doi.org/10.5334/jeps.ca   Tamir, D. I., Bricker, A. B., Dodell-Feder, D., & Mitchell, J. P. (2016). Reading fiction and reading minds: The role of simulation in the default network.  Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 11 (2), 215–224.  https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsv114   Weiss, B. (2025).  Can Reading Fix Men?  [online] Thefp.com . Available at: https://www.thefp.com/p/can-reading-fix-men-shilo-brooks-bari-weiss .   Psychology Today. (2025, November 21). Can reading fiction actually make you happier?  Psychology Today .  https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/frazzlebrain/202511/can-reading-fiction-actually-make-you-happier   Baylor College of Medicine. (2023, October 5). Mindful reading and mental health.  Baylor College of Medicine News . https://www.bcm.edu/news/mindful-reading-and-mental-health

“We're not gonna take it Oh no, we ain't gonna take it We're not gonna take it anymore" We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister ( click here for the song) Photo by Dmitry Vechorko on Unsplash “It wasn’t the sentiment, I can handle the truth, it was the tone and the language. I never expected someone in the senior executive of a listed company to swear and be so unkind.” Client. When I hear examples of rudeness in large national organisations, I always feel a sense of disappointment. With all the talk of wellbeing, inclusion I am perplexed as to why people don’t have manners. Last year I blogged in general about manners (click here for my blog) and thus today I decided to focus on the research into workplace rudeness. Researchers found that when rudeness has become embedded within the social fabric of the workplace, it can be both contagious and contaminating. Witnessing rudeness at the beginning of the work day can lead people to perceive more workplace rudeness throughout their day. In addition employees who experience rudeness at work will (a) perform worse on important intensive work activities, and (b) withdraw psychologically and socially from others at work. Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash What causes workplace rudeness? Regular readers would be aware that the ‘dark side of personality’ emerges when people are tired stressed or bored. What are the delicate situations to be wary of? Periods of high pressure and stress where there is a tendency to ‘let your guard down’ an allow the the dark side of personality to emerge. (click here for my blog on the “Dark side of personality”). Decision making. By its very nature decision making in organisations is fraught. Given the volume and magnitude of decisions a leader makes daily, it is inevitable that even the kindest most rational of leaders will inevitably not be able to please everyone (click here for my blog on decision making). It is also valuable to be mindful of the fact that adjustment and life satisfaction is much higher when you are pulled rather than pushed into a decision. Unfortunately, the nature of life especially in the last 12 months has been characterised by decisions being ‘pushed’ on us. Requests for support from employees. When an employee asks for support it is an effective technique of improving their productivity, job satisfaction and wellbeing. When these requests go unanswered, it will negatively impact how they feel, behave, and connect with others, especially their boss. In addition, this impact will be exacerbated if they perceive differential treatment of employees. Ignorance of Bad habits: Many of my most well-meaning clients were not only unaware that they behaviour was viewed as rude but it had become a habit they did not know how to undo. “The escape from problem blindness begins when with the shock of awareness that you’ve come to treat the abnormal as normal” Dan Heath What skills should leaders practice? Self-Awareness (Click here for my blog on Self-awareness ) Emotional Intelligence (Click here for my blog on emotional intelligence) Emotional Regulation (Click here for my blog on feelings and here for my blogs on emotional regulation) Regular readers would be aware that whilst this list looks short and simple, each element is extremely complicated. What about wellbeing, can YOU “handle the truth”? Click here for the famous "you cant handle the truth" scene with Jack Nicholson from the movie A Few Good Men. Regular readers know that wellbeing can be imagined as a “see-saw” with a balance point between an individual’s inner resource pool and the challenges faced. Stable wellbeing is when individuals have the psychological, social and physical resources they need to meet all the challenges they face. When individuals have more challenges than resources, the see-saw dips, along with their wellbeing, in addition people are motivated to acquire resources and prevent resource loss. Many colleagues, and clients will sheepishly tell me that ‘just for the moment’ they are working long hours, don’t have time for a lunch break know that they aren’t really looking after their wellbeing. They always have a multiple of explanations: they are a team member down; there’s a big project on, or whatever. It is clear that by raising their discomfort with me they are mindful that they need to face the truth. Ideally everyone should regularly sit down and objectively review their demands and resources and make the brave call to not only increase resources but to reduce demands. “By kindness I mean compassion, tolerance, respect, sensitivity towards other people. And the radical version is absolutely non-discriminatory; the revolution is when you are kind not just to your nice neighbour, but to the ones you don’t know or don’t like much.” Hugh Mackay Finally, thank you to the reader who told me that when they are really angry and frustrated, they go for a walk and listen to heavy metal music, you inspired the song this week. ----------------------------------- References: Dodge, R., Daly, A., Huyton, J., & Sanders, L. (2012). The challenge of defining wellbeing. International Journal of Wellbeing, 2(3), 222-235. Eurich, Dr T. (2017) Insight: The Power of Self-Awareness in a Self-Deluded World. https://www.theaustralian.com.au/weekend-australian-magazine/qa-hugh-mackay-social-psychologist-author-83/news-story/fcb659e5b7cc94d080f904a5dc826393 McIlroy, T. D., Parker, S. L., & McKimmie, B. M. (2021). The effects of unanswered supervisor support on employees’ well-being, performance, and relational outcomes. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 26 (1), 49–68 Woolum, A., Foulk, T., Lanaj, K., & Erez, A. (2017). Rude color glasses: The contaminating effects of witnessed morning rudeness on perceptions and behaviors throughout the workday. Journal of Applied Psychology, 102 (12), 1658–1672. Kenneth S. Shultz, Kelly R. Morton, Joelle R. Weckerle, (1998) The Influence of Push and Pull Factors on Voluntary and Involuntary Early Retirees' Retirement Decision and Adjustment, Journal of Vocational Behavior, 53,(1) 45-57,

Personal photo of a sign in Sydney "You can turn this world around,  And bring back all of those happy days Put your troubles down.. And we will find, A way to come together And make things better, We need a holiday" Holiday   by Madonna ( click here for the song ) What excuses have you been making for not completely switching off from work for an extended period of time?    - COVID fear - the precarious state of the economy; - there is just too much to do; - there’s nowhere to go; or  - You sit and dream like Beach Boys’ of a trip to fictional “place called Kokomo, That's where you want to go to get away from it all” ( click here for the song ). While it is really easy to come up with excuses for not planning a holiday, now more than ever it is critical that you do.   I did wonder as I wrote this blog if my words are as futile as the sign in the picture above. Nevertheless, I felt a responsibility to remind readers that the tendency to overwork is occurring at a rapid rate in 2020 and is significantly impacting wellbeing.  "People who are burnt out, it's not because the job's all bad, it's not because the person is flawed in some kind of way — it's because the connection between the two of them has gone screwy." Professor Michael Leiter So what are some of  the benefits to taking a proper break from work: Heart health:   Your heart rate reduces even in the time leading up to the holiday as you anticipate the break from work.   Psychological wellbeing:   Vacations reduce exhaustion, health complaints, and lower the risk of anxiety and depression. Holidays improve our sleep quality, mood and increase life satisfaction. All of these benefits occur before, during and for up to a month after the vacation.   Organisational impacts:   Morale, collaboration, and productivity increase; incivility, conflict, sick leave and turnover decease. There is also a reduction in the financial risks associated with accumulated  annual leave.  How do holidays actually help us? Holidays are a time for ‘recovery’, this is the process of unwinding the impact of the stress of our work on our physiological and psychological systems. The more complete our detachment from work the better the recovery.  “A completely detached employee is able to stop thinking about work related issues, is no longer bothered by work related negative emotions, and is able to shake off physical exertion from work”  Jan De Jong How do we build wellbeing resources during our holidays? Researchers found that the following  activities were resource building: - Traditional relaxing activities such as: reading a nice book; taking a long, quiet walk; and emotional regulation  techniques. (see my resources page  or my blog for ideas) - Activities that require an individual challenge or that offer the possibility to learn new skills - Taking the time to reflect on the positive aspects of  your work. We're on a road to nowhere Come on inside Taking that ride to nowhere We'll take that ride I'm feeling okay this morning And you know We're on the road to paradise Here we go, here we go Road to Nowhere  Talking Heads Interestingly, loosing resources has a bigger impact on wellbeing than gaining resources. Therefore it is even more important that while you are away from work you don’t think about the negative aspects of your job as it will drain you.  In addition, a bit of forward planning will minimise the likelihood of non-work hassles  derailing you and maximise the benefits of your well deserved break. Be mindful that returning to an excessive work load is counterproductive. So before you take a break, take all the necessary steps to ensure your colleagues, stakeholders and customers know you will not be available, and ensure that your work that been appropriately  reallocated. "No more working for a week or two. Fun and laughter on our .. holiday, No more worries for me or you, For a week or two." Summer Holiday, Cliff Richard The benefits of a vacation come from the long complete break from work, not from the fancy activities or travelling to a magnificent destination. Researchers have found that you need more than 7 days away from work to really disconnect.  Vacations are the longest chunk of leisure time that will relieve you from your job stress and leave you free to do as you please. “Instead of pondering where to go, how long and what to do there, focus on the things that really matter: a smooth start of the vacation period, mental disengagement from everyday worries, pleasure and autonomy during the holiday, a memorable end of the vacation period and a gradual return to work.” Jessica De Bloom In my opinion regular vacations are a critical component of our our wellbeing. As a leader, you have the responsibility to set the example for others.  So, stop what you are doing and book in some leave, then sit back and enjoy the ‘holiday’ related songs I have added to my blog playlist. (If you like, email me your favourite holiday song and I'll add it.)  References and further reading. If you need some inspiration for leisure activities for your vacation  take a look at Laura Archers book  https://www.goneforlunch.com/ or listen to her interview with Bruce Daisley https://eatsleepworkrepeat.com/honey-i-hacked-my-job/ Psychology Today. (n.d.).  The stay-cation: Having fun while staying put . [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201006/the-stay-cation-having-fun-while-staying-put [Accessed 17 Aug. 2020]. Garcês, S., Pocinho, M., Jesus, S.N. and Rieber, M.S. (2018). Positive psychology and tourism: a systematic literature review.  Tourism & Management Studies , [online] 14(3), pp.41–51. thepsychologist.bps.org.uk. (n.d.).  Making holidays work | The Psychologist . [online] Available at: https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-28/august-2015/making-holidays-work [Accessed 18 Aug. 2020]. ‌ https://twitter.com/isabellakahhale/status/1295080138917523456?s=12 ‘A hardworking culture is ingrained in our DNA’  2017, NewsComAu, viewed 18 August 2020, . ‌ https://www.fairwork.gov.au/leave/annual-leave/directing-an-employee-to-take-annual-leave/direction-to-take-excess-annual-leave Finance, C. (n.d.).  Not-so-annual leave: How massive annual leave balances impact your cashflow . [online] blog.cashflowfinance.com.au. Available at: https://blog.cashflowfinance.com.au/blog/not-so-annual-leave-how-massive-annual-leave-balances-impact-your-cashflow [Accessed 18 Aug. 2020]. ‌ https://www.ceicdata.com/en/australia/actual-hours-worked Hruska, B., Pressman, S.D., Bendinskas, K. and Gump, B.B. (2019). Do vacations alter the connection between stress and cardiovascular activity? The effects of a planned vacation on the relationship between weekly stress and ambulatory heart rate.  Psychology & Health , 35(8), pp.984–999. ‌ DE JONGE, J. (2019). What makes a good work break? Off-job and on-job recovery as predictors of employee health.  Industrial Health . www.headsup.org.au. (n.d.).  How encouraging employees to take their annual leave can benefit your workplace . [online] Available at: https://www.headsup.org.au/training-and-resources/news/2018/11/28/how-encouraging-employees-to-take-their-annual-leave-can-benefit-your-workplace [Accessed 18 Aug. 2020]. ‌ ‌ Gillezeau, N. (2019).  The burnout generation . [online] Australian Financial Review. Available at: https://www.afr.com/work-and-careers/careers/the-price-of-burnout-culture-20190531-p51t68 [Accessed 21 Nov. 2019]. ‌ Rotenstein, L.S., Zhao, Z., Mata, D.A., Guille, C. and Sen, S. (2020). Substantial Overlap Between Factors Predicting Symptoms of Depression and Burnout Among Medical Interns.  Journal of General Internal Medicine . ‌ https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/conservation-of-resources Fritz, C. and Sonnentag, S. (2006). Recovery, well-being, and performance-related outcomes: The role of workload and vacation experiences.  Journal of Applied Psychology , 91(4), pp.936–945. Hobfoll, S.E. (1989). Conservation of resources: A new attempt at conceptualizing stress. American Psychologist, 44(3), pp.513–524.

“It might be a kind of relief to be finished. It’s sort of like you don’t know what kind of yard dash you’re running, but then you’re at the finish line and you sort of sigh – you’ve made it!  But you never have – you have to start all over again.” Marilyn Monroe Personal photo as I strolled from Bondi to Bronte ‘I just need time to breathe’ said a client to me yesterday after he had spent 20 minutes describing all the things he wanted to complete before Christmas. There is always a bit of a mad rush this time of year, in Australia as not much work gets done in January, there is always extra pressure in November and December to work especially hard. I am also noticing in conversations with colleagues and clients that the precariousness of the world economy has shifted this pressure up a notch. Regular readers know that looking after their wellbeing is especially critical when you feel you ‘don’t have the time for it’. Taking time to breathe can involve:   Reaffirming boundaries (Click here for my past blog)  Reclaiming  your lunch break  (Click here for my past blog)  Eating and sleeping well  (Click here for my past blog)  Inserting a pause in your day (Click here for my past blog)  Regular Exercise  (Click here for my past blog)  Connecting  with nature  (Click here for my past blog)  Experiencing Leisure (Click here for my past blog)   Simply sitting and breathing.  Thank you to the reader who shared the Deep Breathing Exercises Relax by Rehegoo app with me.  (Click here for the app) When I next meet with my client it will be interesting to see how committed he has been to a few simple changes to his work routine around firm work life boundaries and taking time daily to sit under a tree and ‘breathe’. "Watching in slow motion As you turn around and say Take my breath away Take my breath away" Take My Breath Away By Berlin (click here for the song) As you give yourself time to figuratively breathe over the next week, notice how your productivity, accuracy, creativity and general enjoyment of life increases. So email me and tell me “How are you going to “make hay while the sun shines” and bring some breathing time into your busy life?”

"When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary When troubles come and my heart burdened be Then, I am still and wait here in the silence Until You come and sit awhile with me." You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban (click here for the song) Click on the picture to watch my 87 second Vlog, to better understand how finding purpose beyond work will improve your wellbeing. "It's like you're always stuck in second gear When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month Or even your year" I’ll Be There For You by The Rembrandts (click here for the song) I encourage all of you to step outside and take a moment to think about how you can find purpose beyond work by doing something for someone else. Beyond the obvious benefits to your and the recipient, according to Adam Grant helping others also improves your productivity. (Click here for my past blog on productivity) "Lean on me When you're not strong And I'll be your friend I’ll help you carry on" Lean On Me by Bill Withers (click here for the song) Thank you to Ben Baran and Chris Everett from the Indigo podcast for inspiring this blog. References: Anderson, N.D., Damianakis, T., Kröger, E., Wagner, L.M., Dawson, D.R., Binns, M.A., Bernstein, S., Caspi, E. and Cook, S.L. (2014). The benefits associated with volunteering among seniors: A critical review and recommendations for future research. Psychological Bulletin , 140(6), pp.1505–1533. Curry, O.S., Rowland, L.A., Van Lissa, C.J., Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J. and Whitehouse, H. (2018). Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology , 76, pp.320–329. ‌Jenkinson, C.E., Dickens, A.P., Jones, K., Thompson-Coon, J., Taylor, R.S., Rogers, M., Bambra, C.L., Lang, I. and Richards, S.H. (2013). Is volunteering a public health intervention? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the health and survival of volunteers. BMC Public Health , [online] 13(1). Available at: https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-13-773 [Accessed 19 Nov. 2019]. Kerr, S.L., O’Donovan, A. and Pepping, C.A. (2014). Can Gratitude and Kindness Interventions Enhance Well-Being in a Clinical Sample? Journal of Happiness Studies , 16(1), pp.17–36. ‌ Pillemer, K., Fuller-Rowell, T.E., Reid, M.C. and Wells, N.M. (2010). Environmental Volunteering and Health Outcomes over a 20-Year Period. The Gerontologist , 50(5), pp.594–602. https://www.indigotogether.com/indigopodcast/what-can-i-do

"I work all night, I work all day to pay the bills I have to pay Ain't it sad? And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me That's too bad In my dreams I have a plan" Money Money Money by ABBA ( click here for the song) Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash This morning I was discussing with a client her frustration over her team’s lack of compliance with simple administrative aspects of their jobs, like leave forms, pretty cash etc. When I probed to ask what was going on for her team she sighed and said. “They are disgruntled from reading about the executive team pay outs…And their pay has gone down.. they are stressed and demoralised.. Perhaps they are having a little protest???” Do the employed experience financial strain? “Nationally one in three adult men and one in two adult women do not understand key basic financial literacy concepts such as interest rates, inflation and risk diversification.” Preston Do not assume that because someone is on a ‘good salary’ they don’t have financial difficulties. The following circumstances could impact anyone: Addictions: gambling; alcohol; drugs; or excessive shopping Health bills Keeping up with the Jones’s (or the Kardashian’s) Domestic violence (especially financial abuse) Financially supporting relatives who are in debt, or are overseas Assuming that variable pay (bonus, commissions etc) are a certainty Greed Failed risky investments Decline in general household income due to partner/spouse job loss or other factors Credit card debt Unmanageable general financial debt New mortgage The gender gap in superannuation Providing financial support to dependent children Financial literacy is important determinant of quality of life, wealth accumulation, planning for retirement, superannuation savings, women’s economic empowerment and domestic violence. A recent study found that only 45% adults in Australia are financially illiterate. What is the impact of financial strain? “financial strain is the strongest mediating factor between unemployment and ill health” The large body of research into financial strain, dates back to 1928, when Marie Jahoda studied the impact of unemployment on psychological wellbeing. Consistent with contemporary research she concluded that the majority of unemployed have compromised mental health. A recent meta-analysis found that unemployment is associated with greater incidence of suicide, the greatest risk occurring in the first five years. Recently researchers have looked that the are emotional and social impacts of financial strain amongst the employed. Financial problems can lead to difficulties in other areas of life such as health and relationships. When people are constantly worrying about money, it detracts from their concentration at work. A recent study found that alleviating financial concerns boosts worker moral, improves planning and focus, productivity, and reduces mistakes. What can you do? “If we want employees to fulfil our company’s mission and innovate and effectively deliver services, we simply can’t have them worrying how they’ll make ends meet every month or how they’ll cover the long-term needs of their families.” Dan Schulman In 2019 PayPal decided to measure the net disposable income of all their employees, the amount of money they have left each month after covering taxes and essential living expenses. Ideally, they believed that all employees should be able to save 20% of their pay. They implemented 4 initiatives: reducing health care costs; reviewed salaries, offered shares, and provided financial literacy education to enable them to reach their goal. An interesting aspect of the unemployment literature is impact of social support. Regular readers would be aware of the benefits of social support on wellbeing (click here for my blog on relationships and wellbeing and here for my blog on social support during times of change). Researchers have repeatedly found that perceived availability and satisfaction with general social support reduces impact of financial strain. Finally, if your staff are experiencing distress and encourage them to get help from a trusted Financial planner and a Clinical psychologist.(click here for my blog on asking for help) So what is my client's plan? There is a lot of turmoil in her organisation, and in her sector. increasing regulation. Never the less she can control the culture within her part of the business and foster psychological safety. She has some influence over salaries and she can encourage her employees to improve their financial literacy. To begin this slow process, she is meeting individually with each of her team to see what’s going on for them. When I catch up next with my client it will be interesting to hear about the impact of these conversations. References: Baron, J.N. (2013). Empathy wages?: Gratitude and gift exchange in employment relationships. Research in Organizational Behavior , 33, pp.113–134. Balkin T (1999) Impact of Unemployment On The Psychological Wellbeing Of Migrants And Non-Migrants (unpublished master’s thesis) Duberstein, P.R., Conwell, Y., Conner, K.R., Eberly, S. And Caine, E.D. (2004). Suicide At 50 years of age and older: perceived physical illness, family discord and financial strain. Psychological Medicine , 34(1), pp.137–146. Grant. A. (11/5/21) Why it Pays more to Pay More: Transcript, WorkLife www.ted.com. (n.d.). Why it Pays more to Pay More: Transcript. [online] Available at: https://www.ted.com/podcasts/worklife/why-it-pays-more-to-pay-more-transcript open.spotify.com. (n.d.). Why it Pays to Raise Pay . [online] Available at: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4KN4psnx1erdbHFCdBSDof?si=GO_HbMRhTROHnchE6XT_jg Gregory, M. (2018). The Psychology of Money . [online] PsychHelp. Available at: https://www.psychhelp.com.au/the-psychology-of-money/ . Kaur, S., Mullainathan, S., Oh, S. and Schilbach, F. (2021). Do Financial Concerns Make Workers Less Productive? [online] www.nber.org. Available at: http://www.nber.org/papers/w28338 [Accessed 19 May 2021]. McLeod, S. (2010). SRRS - Stressful Life Events and Daily Hassles | Simply Psychology . [online] Simplypsychology.org. Available at: https://www.simplypsychology.org/SRRS.html. ‌ Milner, A., Page, A. and LaMontagne, A.D. (2013). Long-Term Unemployment and Suicide: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. PLoS ONE , 8(1), p.e51333. ‌ Preston, A. (2020). Financial Literacy in Australia: Insights from HILDA Data . [online] . Available at: https://www.financialcapability.gov.au/files/financial-literacy-in-australia-insights-from-hilda-data.pdf. Sarason, I.G., Levine, H.M., Basham, R.B. and Sarason, B.R. (1983). Assessing social support: The Social Support Questionnaire. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 44(1), pp.127–139. ideas.ted.com. (2020). How can you ensure your workers are not just surviving — but thriving? A CEO shares a new approach. [online] Available at: https://ideas.ted.com/how-can-you-ensure-your-workers-are-not-just-surviving-but-thriving-a-ceo-shares-a-new-approach/. ‌ ‌ www.aipm.com.au. (n.d.). Can Australia Close the Gender Gap on Superannuation? [online] Available at: https://www.aipm.com.au/blog/articles/can-australia-close-the-gender-gap-on-superannuati [Accessed 11 May 2021].

I have a draft blog sitting on my laptop that I may send out later in the week but an experience this morning reminded me of the importance of pausing to stop look and listen. So click here for my short vlog, enjoy the sights and sounds of Sydney harbour and learn the benefits of taking a moment to stop, look and listen. Take a moment to email and tell me what new leadership and wellbeing habits have you cultivated in the past year that are helping you to cope with the uncertainty you face today?

“Every time I think my ship is comin' in That old tide will turn and it'll take me back out again If I just lay back and float I'll be in trouble you see So I gotta keep working and kicking and swimming upstream” Swimming upstream by Glen Campbell (click here for the music) Heath, D. (2020). Upstream : how to solve problems before they happen . P1 London: Bantam Press. What is the connection between upstream behaviour and wellbeing? Regular readers would know that an evidence based approach to creating a psychologically safe and healthy workplace is underpinned by proactive organisation wide initiatives. In my opinion one of the biggest problems organisations face today is the psychological wellbeing of their employees. This week saw the release by the National Mental Health Commission of the Blueprint for Mentally Healthy Workplaces. The Blueprint aims to define a vision of mentally healthy workplaces that can be shared by all organisations and businesses across Australia. Mentally Healthy workplaces are, of course a passion of mine, and public comment is invaluable at shaping the future of work in Australia. This blueprint is for all size businesses, in every sector. So please, take the time click here , have your say and play your part in creating workplaces where people thrive not just survive. “I just don’t understand why they come in once a year looking for problems. I understand the need for compliance, but we work for the same organisation. Surely they could help us nip things in the bud, or even prevent problems rather than wrapping us over the knuckles when things go awry” Coaching client Regular readers would be aware of the benefits of prevention, and management literature is filled with techniques to uncover the true causes of errors in organisations, yet it is not common practice. To go “upstream” seems logical yet also impossible. When large amounts of money have been spent on something and or it has been sanctioned by the board and senior executive, it is very challenging to then highlight inconsistencies or errors of judgement. So what are the barriers to upstream action? Design of the organisation Regular readers would be aware that organisations are particularly complex indesign politics and overwhelmed by constant change. In many organisations there are silos, departments focus on their own KPI’s, stakeholders, customers, culture, teams, and concerns. Collaboration and cross functional teams are spoken of but either not implemented properly or at all. Cooperation within a team, and across teams promotes a problem-solving orientation, which in turn allows team members and leaders to discuss errors and learn from mistakes. Lack of psychological safety For proactive work to occur, all employees need to feel safe and comfortable talking openly about errors. Regular readers would be aware of Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety. A central theme in research on psychological safety is that it facilitates the willing contribution of ideas and actions to a shared organisation. People are more likely to believe they will be given the benefit of the doubt when relationships are characterised by trust and respect. A culture of psychological safety enables creative ideas and critical discussion, without embarrassment or excessive personal conflict between team members. In fact, it will serve to facilitate the open respectful conversations necessary for upstream preventive problem solving. Who is listening? Regular readers would be aware that often it may be the more junior staff who can identify issues early and therefore upward communication can be a fundamental resource in helping contemporary organisations learn and succeed. Typically speaking up to the boss to challenge the status quo, or identify problems or opportunities for improvement, can be seen as risky, and inappropriate. Problem blindness If we don’t see a problem, how can we resolve it, sometimes something that’s actually ineffective has become normalised, and seen as ‘just how it is around here'. The visual phenomenon known as inattentional bias, whereby " we can fail to perceive very major things going on right in front of our eyes," (Brian Scholl) especially if they are unexpected, may apply to workplace events and behaviour as well. Lack of ownership If the problem exists across departments, as is most often the case, then who is actually responsible for the resolution? It takes a high level of emotional intelligence to work across divisions with grace, humility and curiosity in order to access all the necessary information. A strategic evidence based approach will enable the generation of upstream options, and influencing skills are essential to ensure change occurs. Bandwidth “When a problem comes up, it’s only natural to solve the problem as quickly and inexpensively as possible. You cut yourself, you put a band-aid on. Your truck gets a flat tire, you put the spare on. The lawn mower won’t start, you buy a goat. What if a problem keeps recurring? Do you keep fixing it?” When we are overwhelmed and have a shortage of time, typically we will focus on the downstream issues, the ones in close proximity that are causing the current concerns or hiccups. When something goes wrong many people believe they only have time to react and naively believe they will address the bigger issues when there’s nothing "urgent". Choosing a focus Regular readers would know that there is no silver bullet or magic leaver that will always be appropriate in all organisations. Therefore taking an evidence based approach to identifying problems is invaluable (click here for my blog on evidence based practice). Critical elements of an upstream approach Identify the right people: to both research and lead the change Know how to change the system Find a point of leverage Identify the financial and other consequences of no action Identify early warning signs Criterion and measures of success Define steps to mitigate harm “We make it a priority on every single day of our lives, even the busiest ones, to perform a twice-daily regimen of preventative scrubbing”… “The most successful habit we have developed as a species is for the preservation of our…. Lungs brains hearts teeth.” Dan Heath Click here for a video my daughter took of a baby turtle making its way to the ocean Final thoughts A few years ago my family had the privilege of watching baby turtles hatch and scurry to the sea, bravely dodging seagulls and other predators. Once they enter the ocean, they need to independently stay safe, warm and fed, for many years until they are fully grown and continue the mating cycle. To be proactive in their approach to problem solving, leaders need to be prepared to be brave, and swim against the prevailing tide for as long as necessary. References: Thompson, H. (2014). Where Do Newly Hatched Baby Sea Turtles Go? [online] Smithsonian. Available at: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/where-do-newly-hatched-baby-sea-turtles-go-180949954/. Edmondson, A.C. and Lei, Z. (2014). Psychological Safety: The History, Renaissance, and Future of an Interpersonal Construct. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior , 1(1), pp.23–43. ‌ Sights unseen. (n.d.). https://www.apa.org . [online] Available at: https://www.apa.org/monitor/apr01/blindness. Team, J.B. & C. (n.d.). Top 4 Companies That Use Cross-Functional Teams to Drive Innovation . [online] www.cascade.app. Available at: https://www.cascade.app/blog/cross-functional-teams-drive-innovation. Heath, D. (2020). Upstream : how to solve problems before they happen . London: Bantam Press. https://www.tigertough.com/blog/problem-solving-vs-problem-prevention-police-truck-seat-covers/