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"Hold the door, say "please", say "thank you" Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie I know you got mountains to climb But always stay humble and kind When the dreams you're dreamin' come to you When the work you put in is realized Let yourself feel the pride But always stay humble and kind " Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw (Click here for the song) Photo by Elias Castillo on Unsplash " Mental health and performance are mutually dependent and can be improved through effective leadership"   Dr Niklas Steffens Readers would be aware that the purpose of my executive coaching is to enhance my clients’  leadership capability and wellbeing,  so that they can create psychologically safe and healthy workplaces for their staff to flourish. (see my previous  blog  on mental health) It is very easy to locate the frightening statistics demonstrating the impact of poor leadership behaviour on employee wellbeing, however,  I was recently reminded that have not explicitly detailed why excellent  leadership is so critical for employee wellbeing. How exactly does excellent leadership improve employee wellbeing? A meta analysis of the research into transformational leadership and employee wellbeing found the following aspects of leadership behaviour directly led to an increase in employee wellbeing: Individual Wellbeing was enhanced when leaders provided personalised  approaches to:  Identifying meaningful work Employee motivation Managing work-life conflict Improving role clarity Enhancing Self-efficacy Reduce excessive job demands Managing the intensity of work Sourcing opportunities for development Providing clear timely feedback Encouraging social support  Strengthening self-confidence to pursue new pathways for growth  Train and stimulate employees to be able to conduct special non-routine decision-making Provide high levels of job autonomy to enable employees to maximise their abilities at work, particularly in the midst of change and uncertainty. Encouraging continued development of individual psychosocial resources.  Team Wellbeing was enhanced when leaders were:  Transparent allocation of work, whilst balancing organisational demand, employee interest and capability.  Reduce ambiguity  Cultivate a sense of community Climate for innovation Ensure procedural justice Psychological empowerment Provide adequate resources Reduction in role conflict Clear vision and purpose Create a positive climate for learning Promoting open exchange, knowledge sharing, mutual trust, communication, and goal setting between team members. Comprehensive evidence based approach to wellbeing  in life and work.  “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviour.” Steven Covey It is important to note that the leaders were characterised by high  self-awareness ; emotional intelligence ; and  empathy Finally, and most importantly,  the leaders were kind, and openly proactive  about their own wellbeing needs. As a reminder these are the main business benefits of improved employee wellbeing: Increased loyalty Attraction and retention of high talent Increased discretionary effort Increased performance and productivity  Increased creativity and innovation Collaboration Organisational commitment Empathy with the needs of key stakeholders High performance Trust in leadership and organisation Alignment with organisational values   “Looking after employee health is not primarily about reducing operational cost; it’s about driving stronger success in every sphere – be it personal or business,” Dr Natalie Lotzmann So email me and tell me what are you going to do differently to enhance the wellbeing of your team?  ----------------------------------- References and further reading. Inceoglu, I., Thomas, G., Chu, C., Plans, D. and Gerbasi, A. (2018). Leadership behavior and employee well-being: An integrated review and a future research agenda.  The Leadership Quarterly , 29(1), pp.179–202. Donaldson, C. (2019).  Why leaders need to play a more active role in improving health and wellbeing . [online] Inside HR. Available at: https://www.insidehr.com.au/leaders-health-wellbeing/ . ‌2016 WELL-BEING & ENGAGEMENT REPORT. (n.d.). [online] Available at: https://www.limeade.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/QW-LimeadeWellBeingEngagementReport-final.pdf [Accessed 31 Aug. 2020]. ‌ https://ro.uow.edu.au/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1040&context=chsd Steffens, N.K., Haslam, S.A., Kerschreiter, R., Schuh, S.C. and van Dick, R. (2014). Leaders Enhance Group Members’ Work Engagement and Reduce Their Burnout by Crafting Social Identity.  German Journal of Human Resource Management: Zeitschrift für Personalforschung , 28(1–2), pp.173–194. ‌ Arnold, K.A. (2017). Transformational leadership and employee psychological well-being: A review and directions for future research.  Journal of Occupational Health Psychology , 22(3), pp.381–393. ‌ Berger, R., Czakert, J.P., Leuteritz, J.-P. and Leiva, D. (2019). How and When Do Leaders Influence Employees’ Well-Being? Moderated Mediation Models for Job Demands and Resources.  Frontiers in Psychology , 10. ‌Diebig, M., Bormann, K.C. and Rowold, J. (2016). Day-level transformational leadership and followers’ daily level of stress: a moderated mediation model of team cooperation, role conflict, and type of communication.  European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology , 26(2), pp.234–249. ‌ Gregersen, S., Vincent-Höper, S. and Nienhaus, A. (2016). Job-related resources, leader–member exchange and well-being – a longitudinal study.  Work & Stress , 30(4), pp.356–373. ‌ Nielsen, K., Yarker, J., Randall, R., and Munir, F. (2009). The mediating effects of team and self-efficacy on the relationship between transformational leadership, and job satisfaction and psychological well-being in healthcare professionals: a cross-sectional questionnaire survey.  Int. J. Nurs. Stud.  46, 1236–1244. doi: 10.1016/j.ijnurstu.2009.03.001 https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/timmcgraw/humbleandkind.html

As I crossed George Street in the Sydney CBD yesterday and looked left, I realised that the light rail is actually progressing, instead of the typical vision of workers in bright yellow vests and dirty, there were shoppers, Christmas decorations and neat rail tracks. The light rail project is by no means completed, as many of you would know the view to my right was not identical to the picture above. However, this image enables me to picture what the remainder fo the project will look like and the long term positive impact it will have on the Sydney CBD. Much has been written about remaining motivated and focused during long disruptive and complex projects, and I will assume that December is not the month for a long blog post. Instead I shall leave you with some questions to ponder as you finish up for the year: Is there a large project that you want to still complete? How have you defined success? What do you need to do to ensure you maintain your accountability and focus? What aspects should be left to the New Year? How will you celebrate success? Whom do you need to thank for their contribution, in terms of hard work, and intellectual and moral support for this and other projects? How will you show your appreciation? When did you last pause while walking to a meeting or and event and just observe the city around you? Have a good rest of the week, those of you in Sydney enjoy our glorious sunshine. Please contact me via phone or email if you want to discuss executive coaching for yourself or one of your employees, December is a great month to commence an executive coaching program.

"Water flows because it's willing".      Marty Rubin Photo by  Zak Boca  on  Unsplash Yesterday I was working with a client who is a senior manager in a training organisation with a strong desire to improve her influencing skills to ensure that her innovative ideas are heard and supported throughout her organisation. Whilst discussing her role and responsibilities it was apparent that her diary is full of training delivery, and management of clients and staff, thus leaving little time for the more strategic aspects of her role. As she was describing her situation a number of hypotheses formed in my mind to explain her predicament: Budget /KPI pressures Rigid organisational culture  Lack of support from management to set boundaries with demanding clients Inefficient internal systems Poor delegation skills Lack of understanding of the career aspirations and skills gaps in her team and peers Limited understanding of how to gain support for a new idea Fear of trying something new. When she told me that she was highly engaged and motivated when delivering training and hence it was where she spent most of her time, I realised that experiencing flow at work could be getting in her way. Many readers may have come across the concept of flow in 2000 in the famous article in American Psychologist by Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. In simple terms Flow is the feeling that you are totally absorbed by an activity that you don’t notice time passing. Some of the benefits of flow include: Better management of stress Enhanced wellbeing Job satisfaction Discretionary effort Better moods at work and at home Csikszentmihalyi found that typically “ when we flow, we take challenges and changes in our stride ”.  It is something that generally enhances our wellbeing and often I will challenge my clients to carve out pockets in their day where there are no distractions to help them experience flow. Flow can be one of the reasons why people who are experiencing stressful life events outside of work find work fulfilling, engaging and relaxing. Readers who are looking for ways to create flow, remember you are looking to engage in an activity where your skills are fully involved in overcoming a challenge that is just manageable.   Will my client find flow in her new work challenges? The short answer is she won’t know until she tries. However, anyone who has swum under a waterfall is aware that you need to swim against the flow of the current in order to experience the magical sensation of the powerful water falling on your head at the base of the waterfall.  ----------------------------------- References: Seligman, M & Csikszentmihalyi M (2000) Positive Psychology an Introduction. American Psychologist 55, 5-14 http://www.bdp-gus.de/gus/Positive-Psychologie-Aufruf-2000.pdf Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly; Lebuda, Izabela (2017) .A Window Into the Bright Side of Psychology: Interview With Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi  Europe's Journal of Psychology; Bucharest Vol. 13, Iss. 4,  (Nov 2017) Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly; LeFevre, Judith. (1989) Optimal Experience in Work and Leisure  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; Washington Vol. 56, Iss. 5,  815. Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly.(1997) Finding flow Psychology Today; New York  Vol. 30, Iss. 4,  46-48+. Donner, Edward J; Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. (1992) Transforming Stress to Flow  Executive Excellence; Provo  Vol. 9, Iss. 2,   16.

"I only wanna sing A song that's happy That's why I only wanna walk a street that's sunny I only wanna see the side that's funny" I Only Wanna Laugh by Dusty Springfield (Click here for the song) Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash "I thought I was going to pull a muscle I was laughing so much. My new colleague is hilarious, it seems the office vibe is lifting despite this being our busiest February on record. " coaching client Regular readers would know the psychological benefits of a good laugh and the multiple benefits of a bit of fun at work (click here for my blog). According to a recent meta-analysis, using humour appropriately in the workplace can increase the likelihood of the following positive outcomes: Strengthen the sense of unity within a group Improve leadership effectiveness Build trust Boost morale Create positive interpersonal relationships across the o, Enhance a positive workplace culture, Increase productivity Greater work satisfaction Improve employee confidence Increase trust in leaders. Reduce gaps in social power and status Advance employee psychological well-being Improve work engagement and job satisfaction, Increase organisational citizenship behaviours Smooth the adjustments associated with organisational change Increase innovation and creativity Integrate new employees Interestingly large proportion of executives believe that employees with a good sense of humour perform better. What conditions are essential for humour at work? Psychological safety Kindness Self-awareness Empathy Good relationships Time Trust Tact Appropriate reward and recognition practices Why does humour have such a positive impact? Regular readers would be familiar with the conservation of resources theory of well-being, that our well-being is a see-saw between demands and resources. Good humour serves as a resource whereas poor humour can be an emotional demand. The contagious nature of emotions enhances the reach of this positive experience and the broaden and build theory of positive emotions, suggests that this joy will only expand over time. Humour can serve as a key interpersonal resource and enhance team well-being. Can you study humour and still have fun? Psychology professor Richard Wiseman is famous for conducting large-scale research into unusual areas of psychology, like deception, humour, luck and the paranormal. In 2001, Richard Wiseman teamed up with the British Science Association to carry create a ‘LaughLab’ – the scientific search for the world’s funniest joke. in his new podcast," on your mind" he uses his entertaining presentation style to share intriguing discoveries about humour. (click here for the podcast) I highly recommend you listen, you will definitely laugh and you may even learn something interesting along the way. For those who prefer to read click here for his research paper. Final thoughts: “humor is a double-edged sword” Rosenberg, C., Walker, A., Leiter, M. and Graffam, J Despite all the benefits of humour, caution is always essential. People have varying senses of humour, shaped by both personal and cultural factors. When humour causes offence, embarrassment or ridicule it can cause a great deal of harm. I have a hunch that my readers are rather astute, so click here and send me your favourite joke. Please click here if you would like to read my past blogs. References: more available on request Rosenberg, C., Walker, A., Leiter, M. and Graffam, J. (2021). Humor in Workplace Leadership: A Systematic Search Scoping Review. Frontiers in Psychology , 12. doi:https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.610795. ‌ https://richardwiseman.wordpress.com/psychology-of-humour/ If you have been forwarded this email please click here to sign up to my blog

Photo by Andre Ouellet on Unsplash “Working on lower-value tasks that keep employees from going home or switching off naturally has an impact and can reduce engagement, motivation and happiness. The combination of feeling overworked and then wasting time on avoidable tasks creates a perfect storm for many knowledge workers, eventually resulting in burnout.” Josh Zerkel Many of my clients are struggling with their workloads, especially as financial pressure increases, yet they are mindful not to place onerous demands on their staff. An overloaded leader can be perceived as an inaccessible micromanager who is not capable of undertaking the strategic challenges expected of someone in a senior position. Hence the topic of delegation often enters coaching conversations with my clients. Researchers found 14 established biases, that magnify the  hours of work and the workload individuals place upon themselves. Moss, Wilson, and Davis It can take a bit of reframing for leaders to realise that appropriate delegation has the following benefits for the recipient: Gain a new skill, Adds variety to their work, Improves morale,  Exposure to a new part of the business, Better understanding of the different needs of customers and other stakeholders,   Opportunity to solve novel problems, Improves trust in their leader, Increases discretionary effort,  Improves performance,  Creates efficiencies, and   Increases intrinsic motivation A good delegator has the patience to realise that they need to invest  time for education and delivery.  Specifically, they are mindful not to fall prey to the planning fallacy, (ie the tendency to underestimate how long it actually takes to complete specific tasks.) and thus they allow extra time in the schedule for the work to be completed.  Good leaders know: How to delegate, What to delegate, When to delegate, and To whom. Occasionally, I need to remind my clients that they cannot delegate everything, especially not the following: Providing practical, technical and emotional support for their staff, Enhancing the self-efficacy of their staff, Strategic perspective on the future goals of their business, Relationships with their peers, Managing up, Stakeholder  engagement, Personal contact with customers, Wellbeing: both for themselves and their team,  Actively soliciting regular, timely, useful feedback on their own work, Providing regular, timely, useful feedback to staff on their achievements and areas of development, Professional development, and  Unnecessary tasks that should be automated or not done at all. Do not underestimate the impact of pointless work on morale, wellbeing and motivation. Bruce Daisley suggests that the current disruptions to the location of work provides an excellent opportunity to reveal and remove much of the wastefulness in our work experience.  This week instead fo a song, I thought you would enjoy these two work related scenes from Seinfeld : 1. Kramer Goes to work 2. George isn't Penske Material! 1.  Please  email  me with what you believe can not be delegated and the pointless tasks that no one should be doing at your workplace. (My favourite podcasts intersected when Bruce Daisley was Stew Friedman's guest on the Work and Life Podcast , together they provided me with the spark that became this blog.) References: https://www.raconteur.net/business-innovation/operational-optimisation-2020/employee-wellbeing-overtime https://www.workandlifepodcast.com/blog/bruce-dailsley-eat-sleep-work-repeat Lombardo, M.M. and Eichinger, R.W. (2006).  FYI: for your improvement: a guide for development and coaching . Minneapolis, Mn: Lominger Ltd. Moss, S.A., Wilson, S.G. and Davis, J.M. (2016). Which Cognitive Biases can Exacerbate our Workload?  Australasian Journal of Organisational Psychology , 9.e1, 1–12

“The time we give to things reflects our values. When everything is rushed, then everything has been devalued. To live gracefully is to live within flowing rhythms at a human pace . There is time to pay respect to the value of what you do, to the worth of those you care for, and to the possessions you own. Gracefulness is not possible when life is frenetic, when we are harried, or suffer from overload, time crunch, and a vast multiplicity of commitments and pressures.” Jerome Segal https://www.instagram.com/bakadesuyo/ Earlier this week I had a client began by telling me his morning had been extremely stressful. To break the intensity and gain focus I asked him to do the following: Close all the tabs on his computer except zoom Take a piece of paper and a pen and write down his "to do list" to include anything that is top of mind that he was worried he may forget or may distract him during coaching. We then did a short relaxation activity Then I asked him to write down what he wanted to cover in his coaching session. After spending only 5 minutes on the above I noticed a distinct improvement in both the pace and content of his dialogue for the entire coaching session. (Click here for my blog on The Third Space.) In our hectic work lives, where busyness is a badge of honour, what are the benefits of slowing down? Enhances health and wellbeing: Rushing is stressful and can raise the amount of cortisol in the body to unhealthy levels associated with high blood pressure, compromised immune functioning, depression, cognitive difficulties, loss of emotional control, fatigue, and a host of other ills. In allowing ourselves to experience the present – rather than rushing toward the future – we become more attentive to what is happening around and within us, and to savour it. Regular readers know that so-called ordinary moments become extraordinary when we move slowly enough to notice and savour them. (click here for my blog on savouring moments) Improved Emotional intelligence: Emotional Intelligence is “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.” (click here for my blog on EQ). When we are busy we allow our emotions to prompt rapid responses, which are not always appropriate or useful. Slowing down our reactions and taking the time to re-evaluate our initial responses, improves emotional regulation and increases the likelihood of a more fitting response. Successful reappraisal will also decrease the experience of negative emotions and is linked with adaptive long-term improvements in everyday functioning. Taking the time to notice and regulate your emotions, will therefore enable you to channel them into actions that serve you well and lead to greater success. Improved decision making quality: The daily and weekly complex decisions of leaders requires the integration of information from multiple sources. Such decisions by their very nature require Kahneman’s slow thinking processes. Informed decision-making, involves thinking critically without succumbing to common errors or bias. Good leaders take the time to figure out what knowledge they lack and obtain it, then they look at all possible sources of information with an open mind, focusing on the facts, consideration of alternative, and sourcing additional information. (click here for my blog on decision making) Clearer Priorities : Regular readers would know that leader who have clarity of purpose and values can focus on genuine priorities and the let go of less important commitments, and activities. Slowing down enables deeper clarity and awareness thereby ensuring that daily choices reflect your true values. Increased productivity: Slowing down to be clear on your priorities also enhances, productivity, motivation and discretionary effort. Regular readers would know that slowing down enables the accumulation of resources that will enhance wellbeing. Remember when your energy is depleted, you can't possibly be productive because you will have no fuel to burn. Strategic advantages: Every leader needs time to work on the business not in the business. This time enables the identification of current and future challenges and opportunities. Taking time to review what's working, what isn't working, and to look for trends is critical as it enables a shift from reactive to proactive strategies. In the end, strategic speed is a function of leadership. Teams that become comfortable taking time to get things right, are more successful in meeting their business objectives. “I got no deeds to do, no promises to keep Slow down, you move too fast You got to make the morning last” Simon & Garfunkel Feelin’ Groovy (click here for the song) So take some time this afternoon or over the next week to identify the regular activities that are best done slowly, and block out time for them. A blog on slowing down would be incomplete without mentioning the famous tactics of Steven Bradbury at the 2002 Winter Olympics. “What makes this win stand out from all the others was Bradbury’s initiative. He was the first man to outsmart his players, recognizing their aggression and how unlikely he was to beat them physically. He chose to play a tactical race, and the decision paid off.” Sophie Kenfield Please email me and tell me when you have had an unexpected victory or achievement because you slowed down and “did a Bradbury”. Thank you to Jennie Brockie for her tweet that inspired this weeks blog. References: Long video on Steve Bradbury https://youtu.be/vN7ih576VYM Article on Steve Bradbury’s story https://populareverything.com/when-australia-saw-gold-how-steven-bradbury-surprised-a-nation/ David, J.R & Atkinson, T. (May 2010) Need Speed? Slow Down . Harvard Business Review. [online] https://hbr.org/2010/05/need-speed-slow-down Thomas, A. (2019). 4 Reasons Why Slowing Down Will Actually Make You More Successful . [online] Inc.com. Available at: https://www.inc.com/andrew-thomas/4-reasons-why-slowing-down-will-actually-make-you-more-successful.html [Accessed 10 Dec. 2019]. ‌ www.psychologytoday.com. (n.d.). Decision-Making | Psychology Today Australia . [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/decision-making [Accessed 17 Feb. 2021]. Stark, E (2017) Is slowness the essence of knowledge? | The Psychologist . thepsychologist.bps.org.uk. (n.d.). [online] Blaschka, A. (n.d.). The Fastest Way To Be More Productive Is To Slow Down . [online] Forbes. Available at: https://www.forbes.com/sites/amyblaschka/2019/07/23/the-fastest-way-to-be-more-productive-is-to-slow-down/?sh=50f071c551a0 [Accessed 17 Feb. 2021]. ‌ Lufkin, B. (n.d.). Why you’re more creative in coffee shops. [online] www.bbc.com. Available at: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210114-why-youre-more-creative-in-coffee-shops [Accessed 17 Feb. 2021]. Susan Avery Stewart Ph.D.(17/12/18) Psychology Today. (n.d.). Slowing Down as the World Speeds Up . [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-gift-aging/201812/slowing-down-the-world-speeds Hawton, K., Ferriday, D., Rogers, P., Toner, P., Brooks, J., Holly, J., Biernacka, K., Hamilton-Shield, J. and Hinton, E. (2018). Slow Down: Behavioural and Physiological Effects of Reducing Eating Rate. Nutrients , 11(1), p.50 . ‌

“Shout shout let it all out, These are the things I can do without. Come on I’m talking to you Come on" Shout by Tears for Fears (Click here for the song) Photo by Cristina Anne Costello on Unsplash “She drinks vinegar for breakfast and eats lemons for morning tea.” Peter Berry What causes negative emotions? Researchers found that negative emotions are a loss of psychological resources and thus they hinder employees' performance and well-being. Workplace anger can result from frustration, interpersonal conflicts with bosses or co-workers, and unfair treatment. Researchers have found that because we are motivated by a sense of fairness/equity when workplace rewards aren’t distributed fairly, it can lead to envy . High levels of incivility or threat of job loss cause much fear in employees, which left unchecked can escalate to anxiety and depression . When employees experience the exhausting cycle of burnout, they may become cynical and disengaged. This can lead to a decrease in job satisfaction, reduced patience, and disinterest in both the job and the company's mission. Additionally, they may tend to be overly critical of new ideas or initiatives. (click here for my blog on Burnout) Regular readers would know that poor job fit, badly managed organisational change, a clash of values, challenges in one’s personal life, and psychological hazards at work take their toll on psychological well-being and may increase the experience of negative emotions at work. How do negative emotions manifest at work? “When employees face the uncontrollability of the work situation and are unable to do anything, they will put themselves in a state of anxiety and fatigue, consume a lot of psychological and emotional resources, and it is difficult to carry out extra-role behaviour.” Yu, S., Wu, N., Liu, S. and Gong, Workplace aggression may be overt, such as yelling or physical aggression, or more subtle, such as micromanaging or passive-aggressive comments. Aggression can also be directed at specific individuals or groups, or it can be generalised hostility. High levels of pessimism tend to increase negative thinking and decrease productivity and morale. Isolation at work can arise in both face-to-face and remote workers. It may lead to a feeling of being the only one who is struggling with a particular issue, or not being valued or not a part of the team. In its extreme form ostracism is very damaging to psychological well-being (click here for my blog on ostracism) “I just got it all wrong, I tried to fix things, but he just got angrier, he wanted me to just listen”. Coaching client Regular readers would know that a leader's self-awareness, emotional intelligence and all the elements of creating a psychologically safe and healthy workplace will minimise the likelihood of inappropriate emotional expression at work. Researchers have found the following practical steps to be impactful: Set clear expectations for how emotions should be expressed at work. Leaders need to be open about the positive and negative emotional impact of work. Neither type of emotion should be discouraged but should be expressed appropriately. Role modelling and discussing techniques to regulate emotions should be normalised (click here for my blog on emotional regulation). Unacceptable behaviour and emotional expression should be clearly defined and not tolerated. Anticipate and address situations that can cause friction, uncertainty, and general angst. There is a multitude of troublesome internal, and external factors in the work environments of employees like change, mergers, economic stress, downsizing and rapid growth, that can deplete an employee's psychological resources. Engaging in regular open and truthful conversations on an individual, team, and organisational level regarding the emotional and practical effects of these challenging issues - even when information and control are limited - can be extremely beneficial. (Click here for my blog on elephants in the room) Foster socialisation and friendship at work. Regular readers know that one of the psychological benefits of work is social contact beyond the family. Researchers found that genuine workplace friendships reduce the impact of negative workplace events on employees, and even stimulate employees’ work enthusiasm and behaviour. Establishing an inclusive, harmonious, and open culture provides the foundation for the development and maintenance of friendships among employees. Recruiting employees with good EQ and relationship skills will enhance work-based interpersonal relationships. Proactive regular conversations with employees about work and life. Regular dedicated conversations about, well-being, life, job satisfaction, performance and career plans can serve as an early warning system of potential hazards. Moreover, this approach helps to create a solid foundation that can make it easier to address problematic and inappropriate behaviour. Access support: There is often the assumption that the leader should be invincible, however, regular readers would know that the issues that impact employees also impact leaders. Leaders with high self-awareness and emotional intelligence know when they need support and what to access. It is crucial to normalise the need to access internal and external professional support when required. (click here for my blog on oversharing) Things not to do: Brush aside negative emotions Promise what you can’t deliver Fix what you can’t Condone poor behaviour Rush a feedback conversation Ignore incivility Gossip Convince someone to stay in a role they aren’t suited to (click here for my blog on the impact of poor job fit) What happens if you feel you have left it too late? “Sometimes everything is wrong” Everybody Hurts by R.E.M. (Click here for the song) Be prepared to take disciplinary action if necessary. If you have an employee who is regularly displaying negative emotions, it's important to address the issue head-on. Negative emotions and inappropriate behaviour have a detrimental ripple effect on others thus it is crucial to offer support to all employees. Final thoughts “It’s been six months since Bob finished his coaching program with you. I watched him yesterday as we prepared for a challenging external meeting. Before we even began to discuss the aims of the meeting, he did some ‘third space thing’ causing us to emotionally reset, clear our heads and enjoy the planning process. Previously, he used to attend these meetings alone, and he would become agitated and frustrated. As a result, I would often receive complaints from clients regarding his yelling and impolite behaviour." Coaching Client’s boss. As negative emotions at work can be highly personal and complex, seeking external professional support may be more appropriate and effective. Please click here if you would like to read my past blogs. References: more available on request Zhang, B., Zhao, L., Liu, X., Bu, Y. and Ren, Y. (2022). The Influence of Employee Emotion Fluctuation on Service Performance: An Experience Sampling Data Analysis. Frontiers in Psychology , 13. doi:https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.648142. www.psychologytoday.com. (n.d.). 5 Negative Workplace Emotions and Their Effects on Us | Psychology Today Australia . [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201603/5-negative-workplace-emotions-and-their-effects-on-us [Accessed 2 Mar. 2023]. ‌ Fisher, C.D. and Ashkanasy, N.M. (2000). The emerging role of emotions in work life: an introduction. Journal of Organizational Behavior , 21(2), pp.123–129. doi:https://doi.org/10.1002/(sici)1099-1379(200003)21:2%3C123::aid-job33%3E3.0.co;2-8. ‌ Yu, S., Wu, N., Liu, S. and Gong, X. (2021). Job Insecurity and Employees’ Extra-Role Behavior: Moderated Mediation Model of Negative Emotion and Workplace Friendship. Frontiers in Psychology , 12. doi:https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.631062. ‌

“Yes I think I'm okay I walked into the door again If you ask that's what I'll say And it's not your business anyway” Luka by Suzanne Vega (Click here for the song) Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash Click here for the OUR WATCH interview on the Workplace and the cycle of domestic violence. The announcement of several state-wide initiatives, government policies and legislation has raised awareness of the complexity of reducing the incidence of domestic violence in our society. What is domestic violence? “Any behaviour that’s violent, threatening, controlling or intended to make you or your family feel scared and unsafe can be considered family and domestic violence.” Government Services Australia Domestic violence includes: Controlling behaviour also known as coercive control is when a person is forced to do or believe things they wouldn’t normally do. They may be stopped from seeing people, leaving the house or doing other activities important to them. Physical violence is any violent behaviour or threats of violence. It can be directed at an individual, their children, other family, friends, pets or property. Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual behaviour, such as being forced into sexual activity against your will or inappropriate touching. This includes being coerced or manipulated into sexual behaviour. Emotional abuse is any behaviour that makes a person feel worthless and put down. This can include yelling, insulting, calling names or a slur and swearing. Stalking is behaviour to harass or intimidate. Technology-facilitated abuse is when one's online activity is monitored. This may include: checking your computer and phone use using spyware on your phone to track you publishing intimate photos of you without your consent sharing or threatening to share photos or messages with the intention of outing your sexuality or gender identity, putting you at risk of stigma, discrimination or harm. “More than 99% of Australian victims of domestic and family violence have also experienced technology-facilitated abuse (also known as tech abuse).” https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-issues/domestic-family-violence Financial abuse is behaviour limiting access to money. Warning signs might be: taking or using another person's money without your permission not being allowed to work having to account for how money is spent withholding financial information spending another person's payments/savings/income without consent. What is the role of the leader? Ensure that victims of domestic violence are encouraged to get help, feel safe, supported, and retain employment. Take action to ensure all employees feel physically and psychologically safe at work. There are two categories of employees that leaders need to support: Those exposed to domestic violence and. Victims of domestic violence Employees exposed to domestic violence: Jobs, where there is a likelihood of encountering victims of domestic violence, require extra focus. Job design: it is critical to identify the psychological hazards associated with the role. Remember that beyond the obvious roles (like emergency services, clinical psychologist etc.) there may be internal roles that support the organisation's operations and objectives like web designers that may be adversely impacted. Where possible alter the responsibilities to reduce repeated exposure to these hazards. Recruitment should assess candidates' ability to handle these stressors. Adequate emotional assistance: Proactive steps to minimise the likelihood of burnout and vicarious trauma, need to go beyond internal debriefing or supervision. Access to therapy from a Clinical psychologist should be available for employees in need of support. Remember the negative psychological impact of poor job fit may be exacerbated in this context. (Click here for my blog on job fit) It is incumbent on all leaders to notice the signs of burnout and vicarious trauma early and encourage support, job redesign or a complete change of job. Victims of Domestic violence “A supportive organisation is like giving everyone a mental health inoculation” Julia Gillard Creating and maintaining a psychologically safe and healthy workplace will enhance the possibility that the victim will know that work is a place where they are supported and safe. Regular readers will know that good work is good for psychological well-being and that financial independence is a fundamental element of personal freedom. “being late to work because the perpetrator wouldn’t allow them to leave, hid their keys or wouldn’t accept child care responsibilities. Having their work product ruined and just the general stress and trauma of being victimised and harassed means that sometimes people just; we call it presenteeism where they’re there, but they’re not there. So, their work isn’t actually up to the standard it needs to be to maintain their employment. But for some people who experience domestic and family violence, work is an absolute haven. It doesn’t affect work, and in fact, they might come in early and leave late, which is about their safety, or it could be just it’s the one place they feel competent, confident and able to function really well.” Jan Breckenridge Good listening, self-awareness and emotional intelligence capabilities are essential for conversations with victims of domestic violence irrespective of whom initiated the conversation. Raising your concerns with the victim is difficult, be mindful that for many reasons they may deny or minimise what is happening to them. Remember it takes a lot of time, planning, help and courage to escape domestic violence. It is essential therefore to always listen without judgment and try to understand the many obstacles that prevent the victim from taking action at a particular point in time. Do not become despondent if you don’t understand or you are not informed of their choices, respect them, and always maintain your support. Never underestimate the impact you will have by simply letting someone know you care and that you believe that everyone deserves to feel safe at home. Ultimately your role is to encourage the victim to keep working and access the help that is available from experts. What is the role of the corporate sector? "Family and domestic violence is a whole community issue and requires the collective efforts of government, communities, and the corporate sector, including banks, to respond to the challenges." The following industries have national guidelines that reflect good industry practice, and employers should use these principles to establish internal processes, procedures, and policies to enable the sensitive provision of goods and services to victims of domestic violence. Financial services: https://www.ausbanking.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/ABA-Family-Domestic-Violence-Industry-Guideline.pdf Energy sector: https://www.aemc.gov.au/news-centre/media-releases/new-rules-aim-protect-customers-experiencing-family-violence Telecommunications and IT: https://www.commsalliance.com.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0003/61527/Communications-Guideline-G660-Assisting-Customers-Experiencing-Domestic-and-Family-Violence.pdf The complex nature of domestic violence necessitates the involvement of many of the following experts: Human resources managers provide the frameworks for the practical implementation of legislation and prepare the policies, procedures, and training focused on both addressing domestic violence and creating a psychologically safe and healthy workplace. Employment lawyers identify and interpret relevant legislation and address any conundrums. Social workers identify the needs and organise relevant sources of help and support. Clinical psychologists provide therapy for victims, their children and others who are practically or emotionally impacted by the situation. Police enforce the law to ensure the physical and financial safety of victims and other impacted members of society IT specialists identify and rectify forms of technology-facilitated abuse. A few things to remember: “Is she ultra-violent? Is she disturbed? I better tell her that I love her Before she does it all over again” (Click here for the song) Family and domestic violence is always the fault of the perpetrator, not the victim. Victims come from all backgrounds irrespective of education level; socioeconomic status; suburb; employment status; religious affiliation; ethnicity; gender; age; intelligence; mental health and physical ability. The actions of the perpetrator often increase the difficulty of the victim disclosing the abuse and accessing help. It is generally very difficult and dangerous for a victim to change their life circumstances. Australian Government-funded sources of information and support: Service Australia (click here ) provides information on free government-funded services. The social workers can connect you to payments, and legal services including legal aid and support services like family and domestic violence services; emergency accommodation and long-term housing support; financial help counselling and health services. Moneysmart (click here ) can help you manage your money. They have information about urgent money help and divorce and separation. National Debt Helpline ( click here ) provides specific advice and support for complex situations including domestic violence and financial abuse. The eSafety commissioner (click here ) Provides information on many aspects of tech abuse including identification, reporting to eSafety and collecting evidence safely. They also have free learning and development programs to up-skill frontline workers who support people experiencing technology-facilitated abuse. (click here ) Our Watch is an independent, not-for-profit organisation established to drive nationwide change in culture, behaviours and power imbalances to prevent violence against women and their children. Click here for ideas on how your workplace can support employees impacted by domestic and family violence. Final thoughts: On a personal note, due to the complexity and horrendous nature of domestic abuse, I found this blog both disturbing and difficult to write. The presence of a large QUICK EXIT button and the advice to clear browsing history on all the Government websites was a disconcerting reminder of the danger many victims face. As always whenever you have an emotionally difficult conversation with someone make sure you have time to prepare yourself practically and emotionally before. It is also critical to allow time and space for the intensity of your emotions to settle afterwards. Please take care and don't hesitate to access confidential advice and support from appropriate professionals. References: more available on request https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/what-family-and-domestic-violence?context=60033#:~:text=Any%20behaviour%20that's%20violent%2C%20threatening,you%20are%20in%20immediate%20danger. https://workplace.ourwatch.org.au/video/why-is-domestic-and-family-violence-a-workplace-issue/ If you have been forwarded this email please click here to sign up to my blog Balkin Coaching

"And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colors came out Day, Day Day, Day It was a beautiful day Don't let it get away Beautiful day” Beautiful Day by U2 (Click here for the song) Given the cloudy weather in Sydney today and the gradual transition we are all making back to our busy lives, it is apt to share my thoughts on retaining the sparks of light from your December-January break. Please click here or in the image below to watch my 2-minute YouTube video to rekindle some of the unexpected moments of beauty from your vacation. (There are closed captions for those who prefer to read.) Click here for my video on unexpected moments. Regular readers would know the benefits of savouring and sharing an experience with others (click here for my blog on savouring moments). It would be marvellous for you to take a few moments and please send me an email describing your wonderful moment, no matter how tiny it was. ---------- Please click here if you would like to read my past blogs. References: Available on request

‘You've got to get a little, Get a little every day You get a sunburn right away Your body's brown as a berry But you can't lie down Better let yourself cool down’ Sunburn by Graham Gouldman (I couldn't find it on Spotify so Click here for the youtube ) Personal photo of Bondi beach. “Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song You go ahead, let your hair down’” Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae (click here for the song) The December summer holidays are filled with sunshine, rain, family, friends, loneliness, alcohol, partying, travel, being active, leisure, long patches of unscheduled time, sand, walks, mozzies, and being a sloth. I personally enjoy sitting on the couch with Nala at my feet reading a lovely novel, although she often has other ideas. Regular readers would know that I begin each blog with semi-relevant song lyrics because it is popular and researchers have found a link between music and mood (click here for the blog). So to end the year with some fun listening, I have made a Balkin Coaching summertime playlist. Take a moment put on your dancing shoes or, sit back in a comfy chair and click here to listen. If you wish, send me an email to let me know your favourite summer songs and I’ll add them to the playlist. Final thoughts Thank you all for taking the time to read, comment on my blog and share it with friends and colleagues over the past year. Your continued support inspires me to ensure that evidence-based leadership and well-being research is accessible, practical and interesting. Wishing you and your loved ones a relaxing break, and a new year filled with good physical and psychological health. Please remember to regularly pause, take a breath and enjoy your leisure time. I am taking a break from the 15th of December to the 17th of January 2023 to spend quality time with friends and all of my family. Looking forward to reconnecting in 2023.

“Send someone to love me I need to rest in arms Keep me safe from harm In pouring rain Give me endless summer Lord, I fear the cold Feel I'm getting old Before my time As my soul heals the shame I will grow through this pain Lord, I'm doing all I can To be a better man” Better Man by Robbie Williams, (click here for the song) CLICK HERE FOR THE MOVEMBER VIDEO SO YOU CAN "KNOW THY NUTS." (Sadly 70% of men have never or rarely perform a testicular cancer self-exam) Regular readers would know that for both physical and psychological illnesses: • Prevention is better than cure and; • Early intervention leads to improved diagnosis and treatment "Men will die on average 4.5 years earlier than women, and for reasons that are largely preventable. Which means that it doesn’t have to be that way: we can all take action to live healthier, happier and longer lives" Movember website Without a healthy body we cannot expect our minds to work at full capacity. There are many treatable physical illnesses that impact our mind, our mood and our behaviour. (click here for my blog on physical health) Exercise benefits our brain, mood, emotional regulation and general health. (click here and here for my blogs on the benefits of exercise) Regular simple healthy habits, like eating lunch away from your desk can improve your wellbeing (click here for my blog on eating lunch) . “I think it’s ridiculous that we live in a country where we have seven of the world’s most deadliest snakes, we have drop bears, we have jellyfish and blistering UV rays but the thing that kills us more than anything else is ourselves. Suicide, and mental health in general is a huge issue, and for a long time it has been something you just don’t talk about." Sebastian Robertson What can you do? In your personal life: Look after yourself Make an appointment to see your Doctor (GP) today for your annual check-up, ensure you discuss the Movember big 3’s Mental health and suicide prevention, Prostate cancer and Testicular cancer Get referrals to the appropriate specialists. Tell others about the proactive steps you are taking in regards to your physical and psychological health. Encourage and support your family friends, staff, colleagues and peers to do the same. If you do not have a regular Doctor, now is an excellent time to find one. In the workplace: Encourage your staff, colleagues and peers to go to the Doctor for a check up. Talk to people you haven’t spoken to for a while and see how they are. Get to know people at work so that you actually notice a change in their behaviour. Notice a change in someone's behaviour and encourage them to get help. (click here for my blog on the common signs) Follow up on someone you have already spoken to Take active steps to reduce the stigma of mental health at work. Reduce the fear of seeking medical treatment. Create a psychologically safe and healthy workplace. Click here for the Movember website, you will find educational videos, and other workplace awareness raising initiatives. As always it is essential to continually enhance your self awareness, emotional intelligence and leadership capability so that you can increase the likelihood of creating a psychologically safe and healthy workplace. CLICK HERE TO LEARN HOW TO SPOT A BRO WHO’S FEELING LOW What are you going to do? So just hit reply and tell me what are you going to do to improve mens physical and psychological health? Final thoughts Robbie Williams wrote the song Better Man in the South of France while struggling with loneliness and depression. As he rose to fame, While he was also dealing with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and body image issues. To raise awareness, reduce stigma he speaks publicly about his mental illness, the power of social support and need for professional treatment. Thank you to my son for reminding me that Movember is fast approaching. References: More available on request https://au.movember.com/?home https://www.songfacts.com/facts/robbie-williams/better-man

Yesterday  when I read the newspaper headlines, I decided that my blog on incivility in remote working could be delayed, as there is a more urgent and pressing topic that needs to be raised. Regular readers are familiar with RU OK conversations and the mental health continuum, yet I thought it was prudent to remind you of your responsibilities and what effective action can be taken to facilitate wellbeing in the workplace. Keyes framework provides a comprehensive understanding of the complexity of the interaction between wellbeing and mental health. Contrary to popular opinion he explains that:  a person can be languishing without being mentally ill and a person can have a diagnosed mental illness and be flourishing .   He found that flourishing individuals function better (e.g., fewer missed days of work) than those with moderate mental health, who in turn function better than languishing individuals – and this is true for individuals with a recent mental illness and for individuals free of a recent mental illness. What is languishing?  When a person is languishing, they have low levels of subjective wellbeing, they are not feeling good or functioning at their best. They may appear to live life as if they are just be 'going through the motions'. The role of the clinical psychologist is to help people who are languishing move to flourishing. What is flourishing?   According to Martin Seligman, a person is flourishing when they have a good life:  "What is the good life? It is pleasant, engaged, meaningful, achieving, and connected". Flourishing may be seen as “ a state of well–being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community” (p. 12). My role as an organisational psychologist is to help leaders create psychologically safe and healthy workplaces where people can flourish. What are the signs that someone is unwell?  Quite simply when you notice a change in what someone is saying doing or how they are living their life.  What are your daily responsibilities?  Create environments in life and work where people can flourish. (See my blog for tips)  Notice a change in someone's behaviour and encourage them to get help. Remove the stigma of talking about mental health at work.  (See my blog for tips)  Don’t forget the following when you encourage others to seek help: They may not be ready to hear your concern. They may not thank you for your input. You may never know what if any action they take. However, when done appropriately, the mere fact that you cared enough to notice that they are not themselves and to speak kindly to them will provide them with an enormous amount comfort and support - in the short and long term. Australian sources of help: Mental health crisis team- 1800 011 511 (24 hours) Doctor Clinical psychologist 000 What can you do today? Call people you haven’t spoken to for a while and see how they are. Get to know people so that you actually notice a change in their behaviour. Talk openly about mental illness and life and work Take practical  steps today to increase the likelihood that your workplace will be psychologically safe and healthy.  Know where to go for more information and support. Readers who are in sunny Sydney, take a moment today to go for a walk in the glorious sunshine, take a moment to stop and smell the roses ,  if you like please email me a picture of something beautiful that you see.   References:  https://www.theaustralian.com.au/nation/suicides-toll-far-higher-than-coronavirus/news-story/25a686904b67bdedbdcd544b1cab7f96 https://www.guardingmindsatwork.ca/about/about-psychosocial-factors Keyes, C.L.M (2005) Mental Illness and or Mental Health? Investigating axioms of the complete state model of health Journal of  Consulting and Clinical  Psychology.  ;73(3):539-48 Westerhof, G, J, Keyes C.L.M (2010) Mental Illness and Mental Health: The Two Continua Model Across the Lifespan. Journal Of Adult Development 17(2): 110–119 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2866965/ G.F. Bauer and O. Hämmig, Bridging Occupational, Organizational and Public Health: 179 A Transdisciplinary Approach, DOI 10.1007/978-94-007-5640-3_11, © Springer Science+Business Media Dordrecht 2014 https://globalhealth.duke.edu/sites/default/files/event-attachments/mental_health_as_a_complete_state_-_keyes_2014.pdf www.ruok.org.au